,

[aliss]

I am a nurse and I do think people underestimate how different our pain tolerences are. Also how people cope completely differently to each other. i've seen people have their leg amputated and they are up and motivated the next day while the next room is a man who never recovers... same age, ame operation. a person having there wisdom teeth out and screaming in agony and demanding morphine.. in the next bed the woman is up and drinking tea. We are all different and we HAVE to respect that.

I think this is a really great point. I have worked in emergency services myself (in policing) and I think people don't realize how different reactions really can be. I have seen people absolutely hysterical and paranoid in fear from a stranger ringing their doorbell, to being completely calm after being robbed at knifepoint. Every person reacts differently and it's so easy to sit back and say that a person should respond to "X" like "X" when it really isn't that simple.

And as much as I want to roll my eyes at the hysterical people whose garden knome was stolen, I keep my cool and remember that while it isn't a big deal to me, it may be a big deal to them. Same goes for this.

 

[peanut56]

It amazes me how rude and holier than thou some people in this thread are!!
If you had a "natural" birth, then that is awesome. I mean that genuinely.
But sitting here, being incredibly RUDE about people who, for whatever reason, did not have a natural birth is just wrong.
There's having an opinion, and there's just being RUDE. It amazes me how some people cannot see the difference. You don't like the response you got? Well, sorry to break it to you, but it has nothing to do with the kind of birth you had, and everything to do with the kind of attitude you have in this thread.

 

[lolababes]

Lilly12 I'm sorry but if you'd had my labour and birth I'm pretty sure you wouldnt be saying that. You're only saying that because you had a normal delivery, its actually quite offensive to make a statement like that. It is not true not ALL women CAN give birth naturally "if we put our mind to it". If that is the case why have so many women died in the past during childbirth?

Nobody is saying women who dont have pain relief are martyrs it was just me trying to get my head round it as I couldnt cope without pain relief 12 hours was enough for me. But thats just ME and MY opinion not a judgement on anyone as I said again and again I admire anyone who CAN do it without pain relief but I think that either it was too late for pain relief so wasnt their choice or their labour simply wasnt as painful as mine (before I get verbally beat up I'm not saying it wasnt painful - I dont think its a walk in the park for anyone but some are more painful than others).

I'd love to see you do my birth with no pain relief - ever had endless hands shoved up you? huge salad tongues? (Twice!). Hell I even felt them cut me open during the emcs. They had to stop to top up drugs. My body was so exhausted.

Suppose the 5 months of hardly any sleep due to working full time, hip issues and being so huge I couldnt get comfortable, didnt help as my body was already worn out by the time labour came. I managed on 3 hours sleep a night for 5 months.

Thank f*ck for the epi and thank f*ck for modern medicine! I could rest a little and thankfully didnt need to be put under general anaesthetic for the emcs I think it would have made my PND even worse. Plus not to mention it saved our lives!

And we dont hate anyone cos we had a terrible time we might be jealous but that doesnt mean we "hate". Perhaps you'd be a bit jealous if you didnt hear your baby's first try, or get skin to skin, or remember seeing them the first time?

Dont even get me started on the fact my body also failed to produce any milk to feed my baby due to losing a litre of blood.....

I have to agree there I had to have 3 c/s, 2 emergency ones!! This last time I was 'brave' I had no pain relief unfortunatley it went pear shaped so I had an epi for c/s. So yeah it grates on me too that "every woman can do it"

 

[tristansmum]

I am a nurse and I do think people underestimate how different our pain tolerences are. Also how people cope completely differently to each other. i've seen people have their leg amputated and they are up and motivated the next day while the next room is a man who never recovers... same age, ame operation. a person having there wisdom teeth out and screaming in agony and demanding morphine.. in the next bed the woman is up and drinking tea. We are all different and we HAVE to respect that.

I think this is a really great point. I have worked in emergency services myself (in policing) and I think people don't realize how different reactions really can be. I have seen people absolutely hysterical and paranoid in fear from a stranger ringing their doorbell, to being completely calm after being robbed at knifepoint. Every person reacts differently and it's so easy to sit back and say that a person should respond to "X" like "X" when it really isn't that simple.

And as much as I want to roll my eyes at the hysterical people whose garden knome was stolen, I keep my cool and remember that while it isn't a big deal to me, it may be a big deal to them. Same goes for this.

that last bit made me giggle. But its so true. its all very well to say if you are prepared then you can cope but some people just can't cope... plus how do you prepare for the unexpected and something you've never experienced before.

Also i got to 10cm with out an epidural and pethadine long ago worn off so i felt the pain "naturally" while i pushed for almost 2 hours. It hurt.... i was feeling so exhausted that it didn't think i could push him out (turns out he was stuck and came out the sunroof). I would never look down on someone who had demanded an epidural long before that stage.. in the same way it don't look down on people who had no pain relief.

 

[peanut56]

No one should look down on ANYONE regarding the kind of birth they had. It's all well and good to be proud of the birth you had, but quite another to make others feel like inferior women because theirs was different.

 

[Mrs Mayhem]

No one should look down on ANYONE regarding the kind of birth they had. It's all well and good to be proud of the birth you had, but quite another to make others feel like inferior women because theirs was different.

very well said!!!!!

 

[lolababes]

No one should look down on ANYONE regarding the kind of birth they had. It's all well and good to be proud of the birth you had, but quite another to make others feel like inferior women because theirs was different.

very well said!!!!!

I agree xx

 

[xemmax]

Yeah every woman can do it. With a little bit of preparation anyone could do it.
But most women do not prepare for labor, yes maybe some breathing excersizes here and there. Not the mental aspect of it which is the most important.

I couldn't agree more with the sentiment of what you are saying, but yet I totally disagree that any woman can mentally overcome their fear.

When I was pregnant I could not have prepared more for labour - I read and read, I decided to go down the route of Natal Hypnotherapy to try and reinvent my view of childbirth and rid me of my fear. I listened to the CD every day for 5 months, I read the book cover to cover, I took in every word and by the end I truly, truly believed that I could do it without pain relief. I believed that I could control myself. I believed in my body and its ability to give birth. I had faith in myself. I did not feel scared. I felt empowered.

But what DID happen is as soon as I walked into hospital I fell apart. I screamed louder than anyone. I couldn't concentrate. I was terrified. What more could I have done to overcome the fear? Nothing - because I was convinced my fear had already gone.

The fact is we are so, so deeply conditioned into viewing childbirth as a medical procedure - and a bloody scary one at that - that to think that every single woman would be able to mentally overcome their fear is just naive - particularly when the majority are still giving birth in a medical setting, surrounded by equipment and monitors and drugs - what is so natural about that? You're talking about rewriting decades and decades of conditioning - it just isn't going to happen with such immediacy.

I think it's important to remember that no one WANTS to feel that they NEED drugs. I'm sure everyone would love to go through it never feeling like they need pain relief.

 

[Mya209]

No one should look down on ANYONE regarding the kind of birth they had. It's all well and good to be proud of the birth you had, but quite another to make others feel like inferior women because theirs was different.

very well said!!!!!

I agree xx

Me too! It's cruel and nasty and upsetting too. I know how much MY labour hurt. I never imagined it could be so bad! Stuff natural birth! It's hard enough even with pain relef. Baby coming out alive and healthy and sanity and health of mum is most important thing! Don't underestimate the trauma of a bad birth. I'd rather baby be a bit sleepy from an epi or pethadine shot than mum end up with trauma or depression due to an awful birth and be unable to bond or look after their child. I've been able to look after my LO but am only just starting to bond and love her properly, the birth contributed to that!

 

[Mya209]

Also, the majority of women wouldn't say, 'oh give me an epi, I can't be bothered to try and give birth today'. The pain releaf was needed for whatever reason!

 

[AP]

I had an epidural. With a 2 pounder.
And practically nothing with a 6 pounder.(i did get cut in the end)

Go figure. doesnt make me weak, i did what i had to to get through it. It's not a competition and you wouldn't be offered the relief if it serious affected baby.(come on i had an epi and morphine with an extreme preemie, if there was a big risk they wouldnt have gave me it)

I hate how others try to make u feel guilty for your own choices, when they werent in your shoes. We are all made differently.

 

[Nessicle]

I managed 12 hours with G&A before having a small shot of peth (awesome!) that was enough for me! I've got quite a low pain threshold so I'm proud I managed to do as much as I did with those drugs!

I think its quite sad though that some women have such an ignorant attitude. To say we all can give birth "naturally" (whatever that is defined as!) if we "put our minds to it" is insensitive, arrogant, ignorant, rude and totally unnecessary.

I'm sorry but no matter how positive you are and how much you prepare, no amount of "putting your mind to it" can stop a baby getting stuck or being in the wrong position or their heartrate decelerating. Unfortunatley those things are beyind our control.

Fair do's I didnt have an active birth, I ended up with an epi and syntocinon as they were concerned about infection, hindsight is a wonderful thing and I wonder if I'd not had the epi would I have needed a section but the pain was so bad from the syntocinon I had G&A WITH an epi. I couldnt keep my eyes open either after nothing to eat in nearly 40 hours and only two hours sleep and no water really just the odd sip here and there, i physically felt so weak.

I feel sad and would love to try a VBAC next time however, I'm so terrified of the emcs happening again that an elective is on the cards! On the plus side I'll actually be able to remember seeing my baby for the first time!

x

 

[mum22ttc#3]

I see a 'natural' birth as Vaginal delivery with no pain relief (even though Im still unsure as to whether I include gas and air in this).

With my first I had an induced labour and used pethidine and gas and air so defiently not what I would class as natural and with my other 2 I used gas and air.

I agree with aliss in the way that I think we all deal with each situation differently and also that we all have different pain thresholds. Whereas I deal with labour reasonably well there are other areas where I am the biggest wimp in regards to pain.

All 3 of my labours where realatively short (all 3 hours something) but if I had had long labours like some of you here I may have been tempted to go with an epi and would never rule one out for future pregnancies. I would like to think that I will be able to do it without by going on my previous births but who knows
And I defeintly do not agree with the statement that every women can give birth naturally, many women need emcs etc for many different reasons and noone has the right to judge because of this. There might be a time when the people that judge are the ones that need them, just because one pregnancy/childbirth has gone too plan doesnt mean the next one will. (Not aimed at anyone in particulary)

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I had my son with no pain relief, no gas and air, nothing. I was asking for pain relief the whole time, I didn't get any I would have taken it if I was allowed. I was begging and the lady eventually agreed I could have some pain relief but I was 9cm by then and they said it was best not to. I dont think I am some kind of hero, I just think we do what we do when the time comes! I currently have tooth ace and taking every pain killer under the sun lol.

Every pregnancy is different and different circumstances and pain. No one can say they coped better or worse than anyone else.

 

[Olly]

For mine, his head was out, so she did an episiotomy and shoved her hands inside, then broke his collarbone and yanked him out... forceps wouldn't have done anything and the episiotomy was useless.

I had the same thing but her collarbone wouldn't break. It was hell getting her out(she finally just popped after a good bit of him struggling with her) and she couldn't even use her left arm from where he was trying to break it and caused nerve damage ;-; She can use it now though. Scary stuff.

How terrifying!!

That's awful Olly, sorry to hear that the break did not work although thank god it came out for her before it was too late (even with the erb's palsy, I assume?).

Oh yeah. I'd take her with a non-functional arm for the rest of her life versus not having a life at all. lol. But she has no idea. She's just as strong in that arm as she is in her right now I have a little fighter

 

[lolababes]

I had my son with no pain relief, no gas and air, nothing. I was asking for pain relief the whole time, I didn't get any I would have taken it if I was allowed. I was begging and the lady eventually agreed I could have some pain relief but I was 9cm by then and they said it was best not to. I dont think I am some kind of hero, I just think we do what we do when the time comes! I currently have tooth ace and taking every pain killer under the sun lol.

Every pregnancy is different and different circumstances and pain. No one can say they coped better or worse than anyone else.

I would rather go through labour than have toothache I hope you are feeling better

 

[mumoffive]

I had my son with no pain relief, no gas and air, nothing. I was asking for pain relief the whole time, I didn't get any I would have taken it if I was allowed. I was begging and the lady eventually agreed I could have some pain relief but I was 9cm by then and they said it was best not to. I dont think I am some kind of hero, I just think we do what we do when the time comes! I currently have tooth ace and taking every pain killer under the sun lol.

Every pregnancy is different and different circumstances and pain. No one can say they coped better or worse than anyone else.

I would rather go through labour than have toothache I hope you are feeling better

OMG i had ridiculous toothache and just couldnt stand it!! This was a week after i had given birth. Turns out the root in my tooth was dying off and it had inflamed and become infected. I laboured with gas and air but the pain of toothache i just couldnt handle it!!! I had to have 4 injections to numb it and i could still feel it. Hope your toothache eases! x

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Thanks . OMG that sounds bad hun

I need root canal but the antibiotics have worked on the inflammation for now. x

 

[Laura2919]

I think a natural birth means no pain relief, gas and air is pain relief therefor I dont think thats a natural birth.

I had a natural birth, at home in the pool, no pain relief what so ever. Although I did have 1 Tylenol (paracetamol) in early labor (my labor was 32 hours from the first contraction and painful from early on)

This is what I call a natural birth too.

 

[Poppeteer]

Meh... I don't get this fascination with natural births....

I had an epidural before I was induced and I slept through most of my 4 hour labour.... Woke up, felt an urge to push and out popped dd.



That's the simplified version, but not far off the truth. I just don't 'get' the need to feel pain if pain relief is available

I'm still a fab mummy, I still made a wonderful happy daughter, in fact my calm pain-free labour meant I was happy and well rested after birth to look after lo.

I'm not any less of a mummy because i didn't scream her arrival into this world.

Not sure if my way of thinking is because I'm a dentist and encourage people to have pain relief for everything. I can't bear working on a patient who squirms and is obviously in a lot of pain because they don't want a bit of local