.

[xnmd1]

Age of conset in NS is 14. That's when I first had sex, and I had my period so. It could have been me Birth control isn't 100%

 

[NG09]

We had alot of sex education.

I think the sex education this is a cop out tbh as its equally (if not more so) up to the parents to teach their children about safe sex. Parents need to take responsibilty for their children rather then shifting it onto the schools

I totally agree with you.

To say that there isn't enough sex ed is totally a cop out. The vast majority kids of that age know about sex, they know they shouldn't be doing it and to blame it on not having an abundance of sex ed classes in schools is rubbish. Why can't it come down to the parents teaching their children to have a bit of patience and some morals???

 

[xnmd1]

We had alot of sex education.

I think the sex education this is a cop out tbh as its equally (if not more so) up to the parents to teach their children about safe sex. Parents need to take responsibilty for their children rather then shifting it onto the schools

I totally agree with you.

To say that there isn't enough sex ed is totally a cop out. The vast majority kids of that age know about sex, they know they shouldn't be doing it and to blame it on not having an abundance of sex ed classes in schools is rubbish. Why can't it come down to the parents teaching their children to have a bit of patience and some morals???

Kids having sex at a young age though doesn't mean their parents didn't teach them any morals or right from wrong or patience or anything else.
Teenagers act out and rebel, it's in their nature.
Id say 95% of teenagers have rebeled in some way regardless of what kind of morals they were taught -- whether it be sex, partying, drinking, smoking, drugs. Or maybe all of the above.

Parents can talk to their kids, but most teenagers will still end up doing something that is in some way wrong and they will know it is wrong when they are doing it.

 

[brunette&bubs]

i was never taught sex education in high school....
the US has an alarmingly high teenage pregnancy rate.
there's even a show! ever heard of 16 & Pregnant?

 

[NG09]

We had alot of sex education.

I think the sex education this is a cop out tbh as its equally (if not more so) up to the parents to teach their children about safe sex. Parents need to take responsibilty for their children rather then shifting it onto the schools

I totally agree with you.

To say that there isn't enough sex ed is totally a cop out. The vast majority kids of that age know about sex, they know they shouldn't be doing it and to blame it on not having an abundance of sex ed classes in schools is rubbish. Why can't it come down to the parents teaching their children to have a bit of patience and some morals???

Kids having sex at a young age though doesn't mean their parents didn't teach them any morals or right from wrong or patience or anything else.
Teenagers act out and rebel, it's in their nature.
Id say 95% of teenagers have rebeled in some way regardless of what kind of morals they were taught -- whether it be sex, partying, drinking, smoking, drugs. Or maybe all of the above.

Parents can talk to their kids, but most teenagers will still end up doing something that is in some way wrong and they will know it is wrong when they are doing it.

Maybe my wording was a bit off but come on, kids having sex at 12 and 13?? It's ridiculous. If I found out my son was having sex at that age I'd put a stop to it PRONTO!

 

[sjminimac]

not read the whole thread but i think not. I'd love to be politically correct and say yes but that would just be for the easy ride, i honestly believe in the vast majority of cases 13 is far far too young x

 

[special_kala]

I didnt have sex because i was rebelling, i did it cos it looked like fun (i was 16 though)

 

[xnmd1]

We had alot of sex education.

I think the sex education this is a cop out tbh as its equally (if not more so) up to the parents to teach their children about safe sex. Parents need to take responsibilty for their children rather then shifting it onto the schools

I totally agree with you.

To say that there isn't enough sex ed is totally a cop out. The vast majority kids of that age know about sex, they know they shouldn't be doing it and to blame it on not having an abundance of sex ed classes in schools is rubbish. Why can't it come down to the parents teaching their children to have a bit of patience and some morals???

Kids having sex at a young age though doesn't mean their parents didn't teach them any morals or right from wrong or patience or anything else.
Teenagers act out and rebel, it's in their nature.
Id say 95% of teenagers have rebeled in some way regardless of what kind of morals they were taught -- whether it be sex, partying, drinking, smoking, drugs. Or maybe all of the above.

Parents can talk to their kids, but most teenagers will still end up doing something that is in some way wrong and they will know it is wrong when they are doing it.

Maybe my wording was a bit off but come on, kids having sex at 12 and 13?? It's ridiculous. If I found out my son was having sex at that age I'd put a stop to it PRONTO!

How do you stop it? Aside from telling them they can't leave the house or have friends over. And even then they can sneak out. I know people who got suspended from school for having sex in the bathroom, and this was grade 7 so they would have been 13.

 

[special_kala]

I agree once a teen has decided they are ready for sex or are having sex you cant stop it. All you can do is educate them on how to be safe and hope they listen.

 

[NG09]

You parent your child, that's how. His backside would be in the house. End of. As fpor having sex at school, I don't know what kind of school you went to but I've nevetr heard of it here!! lol

 

[Nibblenic]

I think a huge amount of people do not talk about thier young sex lives. Most teenages think thier father was thier mothers first sexual partner sometimes only. I know there was once a thread on here about 'your first time' I was shocked by the number of people who were sad/regreted that experience.

I think we are not honest and open with our kids about the emotions regaurding sex and consquences of getting pregnant or an sTI.

I had sex at 15, I do not regret it I was in love and it was the man I married 5 years later (that I regret but thats different) I on occasion had unprotected sex. ( i knew he wasnt carrying anything as he had a clear test before we dtd) I though nievely that if AF didnt show up I would just pop out and get an abortion. Its just taking a pill, right? WRONG! I didnt understand abortions until I was well into my 20's how they worked and what actually happened. Same with STIs I knew that you could get them but not the consquense of getting them or how they are treated, which are not treatable etc

Teenagers think everything can be 'fixed' by someone more responsible be that thier parents or a DR. That actions have little consquence on thier life long term. They are wrong but unless we educate them on the consequences of sex, be that emotional or physical they arent going to take it seriously

 

[xnmd1]

You parent your child, that's how. His backside would be in the house. End of. As fpor having sex at school, I don't know what kind of school you went to but I've nevetr heard of it here!! lol

crazy crazy school
Im from the middle of no where .. we all had nothing to do, i guess

 

[TwilightAgain]

It irritates me when people assume that those who have sex young have been on the end of bad parenting. My Dad obviously didn't take a role with those discussions because well he's a bloke and what teenage girl wants to hear that from her Dad? (He is a fantastic Dad though) He left it up to my Gran to have 'girlie chats' and 'shoves' in the 'right direction'. I had it drummed into me that I should wait until I was married to lose my virginity..........I didn't and lost it when I was 14. Not a result of bad parenting at all. I do wish people would stop blaming the parents, I think at that age, we can all take responsibility for our own actions.

Same goes for blaming schools. At that age, people know sex can result in sti's and pregnancy but that doesn't make them be responsible because often people take the "it won't happen to me" viewpoint which yes is daft but they are still informed of the facts and make a choice to go against them anyway.

I myself have been guilty of having unprotected sex on occasion. But that doesn't mean I didn't know the facts, I knew the risks, I knew it was illegal, I knew that I should use protection but on rare occasions I didn't bother. I think many teenagers are like that. Its not down to the parents or the school or anything other than the individual themselves. I and everyone else in my opinion is responsible for their own actions.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

It irritates me when people assume that those who have sex young have been on the end of bad parenting. My Dad obviously didn't take a role with those discussions because well he's a bloke and what teenage girl wants to hear that from her Dad? (He is a fantastic Dad though) He left it up to my Gran to have 'girlie chats' and 'shoves' in the 'right direction'. I had it drummed into me that I should wait until I was married to lose my virginity..........I didn't and lost it when I was 14. Not a result of bad parenting at all. I do wish people would stop blaming the parents, I think at that age, we can all take responsibility for our own actions.

Same goes for blaming schools. At that age, people know sex can result in sti's and pregnancy but that doesn't make them be responsible because often people take the "it won't happen to me" viewpoint which yes is daft but they are still informed of the facts and make a choice to go against them anyway.

I myself have been guilty of having unprotected sex on occasion. But that doesn't mean I didn't know the facts, I knew the risks, I knew it was illegal, I knew that I should use protection but on rare occasions I didn't bother. I think many teenagers are like that. Its not down to the parents or the school or anything other than the individual themselves. I and everyone else in my opinion is responsible for their own actions.

I totally agree!! I went to a great school. I was always in top sets at school. My parents were fabulous and we were typical middle class sub-urban family. I did piano lessons and loved reading. I fell pregnant at 16 and do I regret it, NO, never, not even a teeny tiny bit!

Sometimes things just happen despite parents well wishes!

I think 13 is a tad young!! BUt yes with right support can make a good a mum as any. x (not ideal but that does not mean rubbish)

 

[AlwaysPraying]

I've only read the first few pages but i can't entirely agree with the "if she has the right support". That kind of support is astronomical compared to what 20 year olds + need. For one, (in Canada anyways), you can't legally work until you are 14, you can't drive until you are 16 and only in the daytime. So, how is she supposed to financially support her child and get the child to the hospital if need be. Yes, I know you can get around without driving, but the fact that legally a 13 year old cannot drive is a valid point. Because when she does turn 16 she's a new driver, and with such precious cargo!

All that being said, I suppose, yes, a 13 year old "could" be a good mom, if we look at what a good mom means. That's why I brought up the age of working ability. A good mom should be able to financially support her family. Emotionally, the brains of children are not fully developed until their early 20's. The last thing to develop is the ability to understand consequences. That's why so many teenagers do so many stupid things, drinking and driving, sneaking out, stealing moms car, etc. They are not wired to really extrapolate and think of the consequences of their choices. Put a newborn into the mix and that situation would need massive support!

wait whut?! if you cant drive your a bad mum now?!
im a teenager, ive never snuck out, stole a car, drunk and drive, i dont do 'stupid' things. we rent our house privately and have no financial help other than what every other mother is entitled to. we have no debts and have alot of nice things we saved for and my LO goes without nothing, were two 19 year olds with a baby in a house on our own, but to you thats a reciepe for disaster right? lol
a lot of mums on here wouldnt be able to provide for their family without their OHs that doesnt make them bad at all.
i cant stand it when people think moneys everything.

Wow, this isn't the same at all. If you'll look below there was a joke about when the first "if you don't drive your a bad mom comment comes in".

There is a massive difference between a 19 year old and a 13 year old. We need to keep that in perspective.

Money isn't everything, but you do need it to clothe your child, to put diapers on his butt, and to put a house over his head. It's not everything, but it is a critical point. You can't deny that.

 

[AlwaysPraying]

I know some teen moms (not as yoing as 13 but 15 or 16 year olds) that end up being better mothers than some of the 30 year olds I know!

It really depends on the person & the support that they have.

It may not be acceptable in our society but there was a time when it was normal to have children at that age.

I think this is such an important point! So many people are getting defensive and upset because they were teenage mothers or whatnot. THE question was can a 13 year old.....not, 16 year old or 19 year old but a 13 year old.

There is such a massive change that happens in the early years, from 1 to 5 to 10 to 15 etc. But the changes from 13 to 16 are huge, and legally too. In those years they are able to drive, work, etc.

I have to stress that driving is a big deal where I live. It's total urban sprawl with little to zero public transit. What there is costs a lot and is highly inaccessible. Unless you live in the high rent downtown area of my 1million + city, you must have a car in your household. I think this fact is very different than many of the areas that you girls live in. I just wanted to say that not driving or not having a car does not make you a lesser mother, but where I am located it does have a big impact on quality of life and accessibility to hospitals, doctors, daycares etc.

 

[lhancock90]

Personally at 13 i would not have been in anyway mature enough to have been a mum. (Although i thought i was). However i think its based on the individual.

 

[LeeBee]

I didn't read through everything... but do I think a 13 year old could be a "good mom"? NO. That's why 13 year olds shouldn't be having children. Can a 13 year old be nurturing and caring to a baby? Sure! But it takes a LOT more than that. And even if they would have a good family behind them to help them raise the child- then the term "good family" seems more appropriate than "good mom".

 

[annawrigley]

For sure I think a 13 year old has the potential to be a good mum.

Also on the kids having sex topic I don't think its anything to do with parenting at all. I had a brilliant upbringing and can't fault my parents in any way. They taught me everything they should've and tried to guide me down the right path, but teenagers rebel and I did. You can't really stop them. I didn't lose my virginity til I was 16 though, and I don't regret it. I got teased for being 'frigid' cos of course it was soo uncool to be a virgin still at 16 But I waited for someone I loved and I'm glad, I also got pregnant at 16... Was that my mum's fault? Nope not at all!

I do also agree though there is a HUGE difference between 13 and 16. I can't imagine what I would have been like if I'd become a mother at 13 I find it a pretty sad thought tbh.

 

[ahcigar1]

No I don't think it is possible for a 13 year old to be a good mother. Don't have the mental capacity to handle such a job. Even if shown, still most of that burden ultimately ends up on the family members.