Hello All, Almost exactly a year ago, I lost my first baby ( a boy) at seventeen weeks when my membranes ruptured prematurely. It was extremely shocking and disorienting. I had had several ultrasounds before the loss indicating he was healthy and that everything was in order with my cervix. After I miscarried, the surgeon who oversaw my D&C at the hospital told me that there was no reason to believe this would happen to me again, that these things happen and doctors can't explain why, and that nothing was anatomically wrong with me (or the baby) that would give them reason to believe I'd be a high risk pregnancy in any subsequent pregnancies. In late July of this year, I discovered I was pregnant again (somewhat to my surprise). I've had two appointments already and my doctor found a heartbeat last week at 8weeks+3days. Around 4/5 weeks, I was swabbed and discovered I had a UTI and BV and was given antibiotics (an oral for the UTI and a topical for the BV) to clear the infections. I haven't had any symptoms recur and I did not have an infection at my last appointment. Despite the good news, I am struggling to feel positive about the outcome of this pregnancy and am worried about the UTI & BV recurring. I suspect that an infection like BV may have been the cause of my PPROM last year, as I was not tested for it (I've since switched doctors). I think the worst thing about my experience last year was the abrupt switch in my reality I went from believing I was having a perfectly healthy pregnancy and that everything would be great to the definite reality that I would never be able to ever get to know my son. I think the worst fear that I have right now is a miscarriage occurring in a similar way. I convinced myself that if I lost the baby before twelve weeks, I'd be able to cope. I am terrified that the infections will recur, that the antibiotics weakened my cervix, or that just something will happen to cause me to PPROM again. Typing all this out makes me feel a little more coherent about the fear I have of miscarrying again. I've decided (for myself) that if I lose this baby, I cannot put myself through this again for at least a few years. Losing my first baby put me in a funk for a very long time and I am not sure I could cope with another loss. I'd appreciate hearing from anyone who has had a similar experience with loss.