A girl in work.

[bubblz82]

I was pregnant along with my my work mate. I tried for 2 years and she 1 month. We were so happy together. Talked about our pregnancy and what was a head.

I lost my baby 9 weeks ago. She was off work 8 weeks as we work in a school. I found it hard going back as I had moved on but staff only found out when then started back after the holidays.

I am now reliving my miscarriage. I am back to crying everyday. I can't sit beside my work mate. I can't look at her some times. I just see this growing baby inside her.

She is finding this hard too. She is going on maternity as soon as. She feels guilty. She should try hold off for herself and take more time other side of baby being born. One way I want her to go early but in another I want her to have her maternity when her baby is born.

I keep walking to see if I get rid of the pain. I have walked for 3.5 hours but nothing is changing.

 

[LifeAfterDepo]

I can relate. My coworker just found out her daughter is pregnant. While I was having TTC problems. I found out this week I was pregnant and miscarried, all this week.
She was so happy to hear I was pregnant. Now I have to hear her talk about her grandson and try not to cry. It's not her fault, it's just baby stuff everywhere makes me want to cry. At least for a few moments this week I was able to enjoy it... its the moments that take out breath away.
Our time will too come...

 

[bubblz82]

It is hard to hear and see things to do with babies. When I was trying I cried at baby clothes. It is nice having the feeling of being pregnant. In a way I want it more but makes it harder as I can't get it yet. I am happy for the girl in work. When I can I ask her questions. But when I get home I cry so hard.

Mum had 5 girls in her work miscarry in a year. With in a year 4 are on their journey again

Good luck

 

[aimze]

Hun I feel the same...my best mate is due two weeks before me...all she writes about on FB is how amazing being preg is..I personally think that's harsh...she knows I lost mine.,.

Yesterday she text to say how awful she feels an mornin sickness is so awful...well don't moan about it! Be thankful...

How do we live alongside these ladies? Is there an easy answer! X

 

[bubblz82]

Hun I feel the same...my best mate is due two weeks before me...all she writes about on FB is how amazing being preg is..I personally think that's harsh...she knows I lost mine.,.

Yesterday she text to say how awful she feels an mornin sickness is so awful...well don't moan about it! Be thankful...

How do we live alongside these ladies? Is there an easy answer! X

I am happy for her joy but sad for my loss. I am lucky she isn't throwing it in my face. I do ask her question, hard as that is but I am asking as I am happy.

Do you feel that you could speak to your friend? Tell her how you feel? Renove her from your news fed until you are ready to read it. She is happy. But she may not be be thinking of your sadness. Everyone sees miscarriage different. She maybe does? I know I have lost a child. I had a friend who miscarriaged. She told me I'd be fine, id move on. No feelings there at all.

Hope things get easier for us both x

 

[aimze]

You're totally right, everyone sees it differently, especially when not experienced it...

I personally would keep baby stuff to myself, but that's just me...

Of course she's happy, why wouldn't she be! An of course I want her to be happy!!! I'd hate for her to experience what I have..

When will your colleague leave? Big hugs to you xx...

 

[bubblz82]

Her choice is 2 go start of October. Baby not due to Christmas. I would like her to take her materity other side of baby being born.

It is strange going through this grief. You are going through it yourself. If you list a family member you have the rest of your family grief with you. It is as if everyone has forgotten.

When did you lose your baby? I lost 9 weeks ago.

 

[aimze]

It seems like everyone has forgotten...people think once it's over that's it, you're fine...no one even asks how I feel about the miscarriage...

It was exactly 8 weeks ago, no period yet so that's going to be. Super heavy! Have you had one? X

 

[bubblz82]

I have had a few ask his I am but sometimes I feel it is only a passing comment.

I haven't had a period either. In the last two years I only had to which were brought on by tablets to take clomid. The two rounds I took didn't work so I took a break. 2 months later I was pregnant and with out a period.

I am back to buying tests and testing all the time. I am not obbessing over signs this time just the tests.

I would love to be pregnant again but I am still add for my loss. I think it would be weird to deal with both emotions at the same time

 

[aimze]

I had my hcg tested an was zero so know not pregnant...refuse to test too as we've given up ttc...started the adoption process so my hearts set on that...

Isn't it strange how bodies wrk..some bleed after 4 weeks an some not for months!! X

 

[bubblz82]

I hope that works for you. I know a couple that did that. Got a brother and sister. She feel pregnant with twins.

Hope all works out for us soon. Until then I am going to start my voluntary work and charity morning etc. Keep me out of trouble!

 

[Mumtodogs]

so sorry to hear of your loss... it is so difficult dealing with pregnant people, especially if they are complaining.

I work with one of my best friends, she has been trying for about 9 months and got her BFP. A week after my second mc she came into work (knowing what had happened) and put her scan picture right in front of me and said 'check this out'... I just burst into tears, I couldn't believe what she was doing. The last week, I should have been leaving for work for my maternity leave, which obviously didn't happen, so instead I bought cakes for everybody at work.. my friend knew why I had got cakes, but told me she wouldn't have any as 'she had a wedding to go to and she was getting too big for her dresses, what a nightmare'....

I couldn't believe how insensitive she has been, it has shown me another side to her I didn't know. I have had to distance myself from her and realise that she isn't doing it intentionally, she is just being thoughtless...

oh, and I had another friend who, when I was waiting to go in for my medical managed mc and was still throwing up every morning due to still actually being pregnant, moaned on to me about how rough she was feeling at 6 months pregnant. She actually cried. I had to pull her to one side and have a word with her, tell her that yes, she feels rough, but at least she will have something to show for it. I had spent 20 mins that morning throwing up and knew I would have nothing to show for it...

man, I feel much better for that rant! hahahaha

So in answer, I don't know what you can do to feel better, both of these people I went into self defence mode, and distanced myself from them. I found it worked for me.

 

[bubblz82]

I am so glad she isn't throwing it in my face. I find ithard looking at her as I am picturing the baby inside her.

You dealt with your situation really well. At least you say back and thought about it.

I have had a good weekend. Not sure how this week will be at all.

As they day time is a healer. When we reach the stage of our when your babies should be born, 1st birthday and starting school. It will be us who remember.

 

[Mumtodogs]

My first due date would have been 11th sept this year, ie this wednesday! dreading it! When's yours? X

 

[bubblz82]

What do you plan to get you through? I never got a due date. Had an idea by an early scan that it would be January. I never took periods to date it. I plan to get this year over. Worst year ever. Better things to come in 2014. I don't think I want to think about a date. But I will never forget her. I will always leave her letters in a wee box I have for her.

That is how I feel today. Tomorrow I could feel alot different.

 

[aimze]

We thought about doing something on our last miscarriage due date, in the end I couldn't, it would be too painful...this time I'm not thinking about a due date to remember...my first miscarriage, Poppy we called her, 1st birthday would be around 9th Feb...I find that harder than the due date..like I want to get a card and cake and sit quietly thinking of what she'd be doing x

 

[bubblz82]

Both dates are hard. My dates are not exactly to a day. I had a mmc then due date was sometime in january.
Poppy is a lovely name. I named mine diamond. That is how she was described in my first scan. I also love Rihanna song diamond in the sky.
My cat ran off the week after I lost her. I believe the two of them are playing together

 

[bubblz82]

Now a pupil in the school is due the month I was. At least I will not see my work mate but instead I will see this girl grow. I can't help but scare. At home I lost it and threw a plate. Felt so angry and hurt with my loss. I feel alone

 

[Mumtodogs]

Oh bubblz, sorry you feel this way. Please remember you're not alone. We know how difficult it is and we are always here for you to vent or throw plates at. X x x

 

[wannabemummyb]

I was pregnant along with my my work mate. I tried for 2 years and she 1 month. We were so happy together. Talked about our pregnancy and what was a head.

I lost my baby 9 weeks ago. She was off work 8 weeks as we work in a school. I found it hard going back as I had moved on but staff only found out when then started back after the holidays.

I am now reliving my miscarriage. I am back to crying everyday. I can't sit beside my work mate. I can't look at her some times. I just see this growing baby inside her.

She is finding this hard too. She is going on maternity as soon as. She feels guilty. She should try hold off for herself and take more time other side of baby being born. One way I want her to go early but in another I want her to have her maternity when her baby is born.

I keep walking to see if I get rid of the pain. I have walked for 3.5 hours but nothing is changing.

Sorry for your loss

I can completely relate. One of the girls on my team got pregnant about two weeks after me. I'm finding it hell on earth seeing her, knowing I would have been just ahead of her! Also, she is being completely insensitive, which is ironic as when she was ttc she hated pregnant people "rubbing her face in it"

The other is my "best friend" who is so insensetive. She even went so far as saying "god pregnancy is awful, you never want to get pregnant again" just weeks after the misscarriage! She isn't even sure she wants her baby! So unfair!

For the poster that said noone asks anymore.....li get that too. Even my husband thinks i should be miving on.