A group for TTC#1 and had more than one loss?

[hopestruck]

Thank you all soo much for your support. Good news - I tried my last FRER this afternoon after reading a post from someone who claimed it was much better than FMU/2MU. Turns out, she was right! For 14dpo, these are lines I feel MUCH better about (the one from this morning's FMU was almost a squinter, I swear).

Still holding my breath for beta results, but feeling MUCH more confident now (at least confident it's probably not going to be a chemical).

 

[hopestruck]

Sooper, sorry you are feeling so down. It is certainly a tough ride. We're all here to support you no matter what. Of course I don't think you should give up, but sometimes a little breathing room is a good thing. I took a 3 month break during my testing, and it was really good for my mental health...this recent BFP is reminding me of all of the kinds of crazy I have been for the past year. It's no fun, honestly. You might find yourself feeling a lot more refreshed afterward. Of course, totally your decision and no matter what you do, it will be the right choice for you.

 

[Pipinha]

Congratulations hopestruck

Sticky baby

 

[BeachChica]

Hi girls, so this morning after inserting my Progesterone I saw a gob of CM mixed in with a little blood on the stick. Sorry TMI. Throughout out the day I had a little pink mixed in with the progesterone. Of course I'm stressing about this all day... I went to my appointment this afternoon. The appointment went well. Told the doctor about the blood I saw this morning. When he did my exam he said everything looks normal and just saw a lot of CM. He said I don't need to insert the progesterone very far. Had a postive urine pregnancy test at the doctors office. They took bloods which I should have back tomorrow and i am having them repeated on Monday and Thursday next week. He wants to see me again in 2 weeks. Hopefully the blood is just a little implantation bleeding.
Emme- didn't you have bleeding early too?

 

[Misswish]

Oh sorry to hear you are feeling down Soop. Who knew TTC would be so hard I too felt like giving up & thought I would probably never even be able to have any children. Sending you hugs. I definately don't think you should give up but maybe having a break for awhile might be good, even just for a short time. Who knows often when you least expect it it happens then. Take care of yourself & thinking of you on mon.
I really hope that you aren't having another loss Bumblebee. Thinking of you.
Hopestruck I'm glad to hear you a feeling more confident& better about it. Goodluck & hope things go well.
Beach would b scary having a bit of blood. could it be due to the progesterone? That's good you are having lots of blood taken & getting montiored. Try not to stress. I know it wouldn't be easy not to tho. Yeah Emme had bleeding as well.
Lexi that would b exciting feeling your little one move.
Hi to everyone esle

 

[hopestruck]

Just realized I missed commenting on Bumblebee. I'm SO sorry you are experiencing a bit of a scare. I will be hoping and praying for you

Beach, that is understandably a bit scary to see the spotting. It could just be residual implantation bleeding, no? One of my friends on B&B had some 3 days after her BFP. I have also heard that progesterone can make the cervix more sensitive, so it's possible that you could have bumped it with the applicator or that perhaps a cyst wore off or something. In any case, all your other symptoms point to so keep positive girl! Sounds like you're under some great care and supervision. I don't think I'm going to get that kind of care and treatment even after my 3 losses! My doctor is an OB and is great, but to be honest I don't think he's that experienced in recurrent loss. Apparently it only happens to like 1% of women or something *rolls eyes* ((btw, that's not what he said, that's what *I* have read)). Unfortunately living in a small town there aren't any specialists.

 

[Nicki123]

MornIng... God this really is a rollercoaster for us all isn't it. I am not feeling confident today. Retested two days later and the tests look exactly the same. No progression. They are so light and by my calcs I'm 18dpo, 16 at best. The lines are so faint.

Not sure what to do now really ... Not feeling positive today though

Hope you're doing well Beach and Hope.
Bumblebee how is everything with you? X

 

[BeachChica]

Thanks ladies! I had a bit more blood last night, more like a very light period and red but this morning I did not see any on my progesterone stick so I really hope it stops.

Hope - can you see if your regular OB will do more monitoring of you... more frequent bloodwork/scans? I thought about just going back to my OB since I had already been though all of my testing and they said they would monitor me closely as well.

Nicki - don't worry about your HPT's yet. It could be just variations in your concentration of urine. When I went to the doc yesterday and had a urine test it was not as dark as the one I had done, but it was the middle of the day.

 

[Nicki123]

Fingers crossed the bleeding stops Beech. It's so hard isn't it.

I'm pretty sure my fmu today was pretty concentrated. Have called the doc as I think the only way I'm going to get an answer is to get bloods done but waiting for him to call back. I am not feeling too optimistic though.

I'm on my way to my mums for the weekend (what a well timed trip, lots of mum tlc coming up!) so might not be online much but take care everyone and have nice weekends. Enjoy the Olympics opening ceremony - my friend is in it and says its fab, 'very quirky and British' x

 

[Emmediva]

Hopestruck, how nice that the line is more visible! Congrats!

Beach, I've had 2 episodes of spotting & one of light bleeding, similar to what you had last night, like a light period, no clots just red blood. That made me rush into the hospital since it was more than previously but all was ok. I wasn't really told the cause for my light bleeding but my mother contributed it to me walking around too much... So try to take it easy... with my spotting I was told I have a sensitive cervix so you may have that. Also, if you are using an applicator, you may be rubbing the walls of your hooha when you insert it, remember when you are pregnant, more blood flows to this area. When ever you have any spotting or bleeding, you should put your feet up and rest. I found this really helped. Try to prop your legs on 3 or 4 pillows and lay down it very well could have been implantation bleeding, how far along are you? Sending you lots of baby

Nicki, yes pregnancy after a loss is a rollercoaster and very hard, but we are all here for each other, we've been there too. Heck, I'm 14 weeks and still check the toilet tissue, still have to get home and immediately check for babies heartbeat, it's a process... but we hace to take this one day at a time. I'm sorry the lines don't seem to be progressing, but sometimes FMU is not concentrated... have you tried 2MU or even afternoon? I'll be thinking of you. Enjoy your weekend, and I hope the doctor calls you back ASAP, like you said bloodwork would definately give you an answer.

AFM, I am 14 weeks 1 day today, time flies by! And I thought it was so darn slow!! I have my 3rd doctor appointment Monday, hoping to see the baby I've heard sometimes they can see what it is at 14 weeks! I'm still not sure I want to know, but I'm considering it... Hmm what do you guys think? I'm undecided and OH is not helpful at first he was like yes I want to know, but now he changed his mind and wants a surprise how helpful! Oh and I may be getting ahead of myself, knock on wood, but I think I want a natural birth guys, all the research I've been doing is making me more inclined towards it. In a hospital setting of course in case I need intervention if all is not going as planned but as natural as possible. My OH says he wants me on drugs, laid down and to not feel anything LOL I think he's more nervous than me! Oh and I started my pregnancy journal, a bit late but I didn't have the guts to do it earlier

:wave: Hi to anyone I may have missed

 

[hopestruck]

Nicki- so sorry you are feeling down I hear you 150% on the roller coaster bit. It is emotionally exhausting. I know it's hard to do (hell, clearly I'm terrible at it) but try not to read to much into the darkness of your tests or compare yourself to others. I've seen some tests that look super dark where the beta is low, and other tests where the tests are fainter but the beta is super high (there's a big thread about it, just google "FRER beta" and it should come up). Having said that though, have your tried testing with afternoon urine? My FMU was def more concentrated than the afternoon pee (only held that for 2-3 hours!) but the difference between my morning and afternoon test is mind boggling, truly. Might be worth a shot.

Beachchica, glad to hear that things haven't really progressed passed some light bleeding. Lots of changes going on in the body right now, but as long as you're not having a full out period, definitely assume that things are still going right on track! Hopefully your doc will be able to shed some more insight. As for my OB, yes,I'm going to ask him if we can continue checking betas and see if he can get me in for an earlier scan (all scans in my town are at the hospital though, and I don't think he has much sway over there though, so well see). He did say he was going to work with me to monitor my next pregnancy more closely, so I'm going to hold him to it!

Thanks Emma, and huge congrats to you for hitting the 2nd tri mark in earnest, yaaaay!! Did you have a good feeling about this pregnancy right from the start? I sometimes believe our intuition can tell us everything we want to know... Yes, I've heard you can actually tell the sex from around 12 weeks (I'm a sociologist is I say "sex", not "gender" haha). Looking forward to hearing what you and your DH decide I'm also in favor of natural birth. If I was still in Vancouver I'd be with my former midwives aiming for a homebirth!

 

[Neversaynever]

Bumble...hope you're doing ok

Beach...a lot of ladies on the PARL thread had spotting with progesterone so they put it not as far in or use the back passage

Hope...2MU always worked better for me

Nicki...I know it's hard but please don't compare the tests...your urine is different strengths, the time of day makes a difference, different batches/brands etc. If you can push for bloods..that's the only true indicator of HCG levels and you'd need another to ensure it was rising.

The first 12 weeks until the scan are truly horrific...you're totally in limbo because apart from scans...you're in the dark. Also, there are times when you have a scan, you're on but it's not long before those doubts creep in. Sometimes you get to see and hear the HB at a good stage and still you end up losing before the 13 weeks so my advice is do whatever it takes to get you through those weeks. I have checked the toilet paper every single time since being pregnant..those fears never leave you. Don't get me wrong..I have more good days then bad...but they are still lurking about.

Apologies if you find this depressing...I'm just being realistic and I know for me...I'd rather not be buttered up

Lots of love and ladies

XxX

 

[wookie130]

Never, you nailed it. While pregnancy is supposed to be a joyful time, PAL is a different story altogether. Those of us who have experienced loss(es) often spend our time stressing out about the unknown, and how we're going to get through this day, and manage to stay pregnant. It's tough. I'm almost 7 weeks, and apart from what I find out at my ultrasound on Monday, I truly have no clue if this pregnancy is progressing or not...I thought my first pregnancy was doing fine, only to find out I had had a missed miscarriage, and had been carrying a deceased baby unbeknownst to me for nearly 5 weeks. My second loss was a standard early loss. I have a hard time believing that it's not going to happen again...and I have such a hard time believing there will really be a heartbeat on Monday, or anything worth seeing. If the baby ends up being okay, I just really won't believe it.

 

[BeachChica]

Ladies its definitely a difficult process and I don't think you stop worrying until you actually give birth. I had 3 good scans on my last pregnancy with HB's etc and then all of a sudden a MC. You just never know. That's why I love the PAL groups. We know what it's like and don't take anything for granted. It's a difficult road and everyone is here to support each other.

Thank you all for the info on the bleeding. I feel better. I have never had bleeding like this before. It seems to have stopped today. I will be very careful going forward with the progesterone stick. My doctors office called today and my hcg from yesterday is 215. I am having it repeated on Monday and Thursday next week.

 

[hopestruck]

Never, Wookie, and Beach - I agree 100% with everything that you've said about the PAL process. It's always going to be tougher with us. I sincerely appreciate that there are groups like this out there for us, where we can come and share what we're going through, good or bad, and know that there are others out there who can completely sympathize with our experiences.

Wookie, I'll be sending you all my best wishes and hopes for baby. I know it's hard, but try to stay positive. After my little freak out yesterday morning with the faint HPTs, somebody in another group said something to me that really stuck with me. She said, give this baby a chance! I realized that she was completely right, that I had written it off before it had even had a chance to get settled. I was having such a hard time believing that I was destined for anything but M/C. But hearing those words really made me think that, no, maybe this is NOT about me, maybe this is about a baby who deserves my hope and faith. Not saying that you're not doing that, but thinking about the pregnancy in a different way really changed my whole view on it. So I will continue to believe that your little bean is healthy with a brightly beating heart.

Never - when you say the "back passage" do you mean...up the ***?? Just wondering as I'll be stating progesterone supplements (crinone) tonight. Beach, is that what you're on as well? Just got my prescription yesterday, it is hella $$$! My extended doesn't cover it.

Oh, and Beach, that is an AWESOME beta for 4 weeks!!!! I doubt mine will be that high, I am just hoping to see a good rate of increase from 12 dpo to 14dpo.

 

[Bumblebee2408]

Hey girls thank you for your support got my results and even though i'm bleeding really heavily with clot my hcg has gone up slightly so fingers crossed I've got to go back on sunday to have my bloods done again to see if it goes up again
xxxx

 

[hopestruck]

Bumblebee, that is AWESOME news! So happy to hear it. Looking forward to more good news and sending you all my best in the meantime!!!

 

[Neversaynever]

Wookie....my first loss I had a small bleed at 11+4 and just hoped it was nothing...well it was nothing..no baby just a collapsing 9 week gestation sac and I felt like a fraud and failure, my second I saw a HB 7+2 and thought this is it...wrong again, had a small bleed at 10+5 and baby had gone around 9 weeks. The third I knew I was pregnant and when the line got a tiny bit fainter I just knew. I never believed I'd get pregnant and stay pregnant...even this time. You just have to get on with things and for me...acceptance was my biggest hurdle. Once I had accepted that it was all out of my hands, I dealt with it better. Man my journal is like a soap opera with my rants about lack of symptoms and believing it was over and now look.

It is also why I set this thread up...one loss IS common and yes it's still heartbreaking etc but when you are trying again and again...it's hard to believe and have faith.

all round

XxX

 

[Neversaynever]

Hope...yup up the shit chute works perfectly up there too

Bumble...hoping the bleeding subsides and your numbers double on Sunday rest and plenty of fluids

Beach...fab beta

XxX

 

[Sooperhans]

Hey everyone, thank you so much for your messages, you are such good online friends! Kmp no I haven't had a hsg, I have a feeling I have fibroids like you say but I'll see what they say on Mon, I assume as it's an internal scan that it'll pick up all that. Hope you get a strong ov v soon x


Emme thank you, yes I'm on mini aspirin, conception vits and progesterone but I don't have anything to make me ovulate, I'm worried about affecting the thyroxine that I'm on daily, which has been raised by a third to help with fertility....not that it's worked...anyway good luck on Mon x


Thanks Beach, yeah on aspirin and I'll report what they say on Mon....Fx'd....I hope you are really well despite the light bleed, I'm sorry you're seeing any kind of blood but your levels sound great x


Lexi thank you hun, I know one step at a time, I'm still wondering about taking a break...just to give my mind a rest, I might not calculate dates or think about it in Aug, we're going away in Sep and I may ntnp before then. These frigging weird afs will hopefully be explained by the scan.....as I'm hating them. I have less bleeding and more pain. How are you, felt any more movement? So exciting x


Never thank you so much for your support, you've been so brave and persistant in your journey, perhaps I'll start a journal, although it's possible I'd just get thrown in the loony bin, lol.


Thank you lovely Nicki, I'm pleased you have been feeling calm x try not to worry about the darkness of the tests, i'd suggest betas x


Misswish thank you hun and I hope you are doing really well, doubly well even x


Wookie, all the luck in the world for you on Mon, I hope you have your magical moment x


Hope I hope you are well and lol to Never with your 'up the shit chute' comment, you are naughty but I like you, lol.....and what a good sentiment, to give this baby a chance...I hope you get there hun, I really do x


Bumble, I'm keeping everything crossed for you x


Well me and hubbo have a weekend lined up of a dinner out, cinema and I'm having my hair cut tomorrow morning. And next week I may go for my first ever spray tan! Happy Friday everyone....emotionally I'm exhausted but trying to stay positive xxx