A question for those with 3 kids or more.

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by Noodles, Jan 31, 2011.

  1. Noodles

    Noodles Mummy to two boys!

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    I'm curretly 21 weeks pregnant with our second child and I always said that 2 was enough and hubby agreed, but now he has got his heart set on having at least another one. It's not that he wants a girl, he just wants a bigger family. I'm concerned with how much money 3 kids will cost, as to me (in theory) it means having a bigger house, bigger car, more money for clothes and activity clubs etc but his thinking is he doesn't want to make the decision based on money as we never know what is around the corner.

    Now i'm all confused. If money was no object then I would love a big family, but I can't help thinking that one of us needs to be realistic. I don't want a big gap between my children (personal preference) as there is a large one between my sister and I and it was like being an only child and I was very lonely growing up.

    Anyone else in a situation like this? Is having 3 kids that different to having 2? Do you just cope?
     
  2. ouchwithNo.2

    ouchwithNo.2 Well-Known Member

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    My OH said we would never have 3, we would have 2 or 4, he just doesn't like the idea of 3 and many friends who are the middle child have often said they felt like the glue between the oldest and the youngest, the one who couldn't take sides or often got the blame.
    3 would mean a bigger car if they were close in age - most smaller hatchbacks, in fact even my OH's audi A3 wont fit 3 seats in the back even with a proper middle seat belt.
    House wouldn't be so vital, if you had them close together then sharing a room would work ok once they are sleeping through.
    We have struggled - 2 bed home, 6yr old boy and we have a 7mth old daughter. She sleeps really well but we tried to put her in with our son and they disturbed each other with moving / noises etc and he woke up tired for school - I guess he had got used to his own space for so long.
    Money IMO isn't the biggest factor, I think if you can cope financially with two then you can with three - babies are only as expensive as you want to make them and if you are planning more and close together you can keep stuff from the previous and you will know what not to waste money on next time around.
    We wont be having anymore, with that 6yr age gap it would unfair on our son to then have another baby who would be closer in age to his new little sister (he adores her) BUT..if we hadn't waited 6yrs then just maybe we would be on number 3 and then number 4..x
     
  3. Midnight_Fairy

    Midnight_Fairy New baby J

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    I would just focus on this pregnancy and see how you feel afterwards lol its very time consuming with a toddler and a baby, just enjoy and and dont think to far ahead.x
     
  4. Sam9kids

    Sam9kids Guest

    Just go with the flow and enjoy! lol x
     
  5. Mum22GTTC

    Mum22GTTC Well-Known Member

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    I currently have 3 and would like 2 more. Personally I think kids are as expensive as you make them. Yes of course they do cost money, but not THAT much IMO - especially if you've already got bits and peices from your previous children.

    I mean I don't think "Can we afford more kids?" I just think "Can we cope with more kids"
    I just feel where there is a will there's a way :shrug: I really do think you just manage some how.

    Obviously if you are struggling financially at the moment then more kids maybe wouldn't be wise, but if like us, you get by each month, then I wouldn't hold off :flower:
     
  6. Lara310809

    Lara310809 Mum of 3 girls

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    I only have one child, but let me come at it from this angle:

    We had money saved from our wedding, and my inheritance, and we TTC thinking we would put it towards having a baby and buying everything we needed for it. When LO came along, we'd spent every penny, because we had a number of very expensive things happen to us, and OH was out of work for about 5 months; also unexpectedly. So we were then faced with parenthood with none of the savings we had banked on.

    We managed though, and we haven't missed it. We were also supposed to move into a 2 bed house shortly after LO was born, but we didn't because it fell through. LO is 9m old and still in our bedroom, but we manage. We may not move for another 2 or 3 years, but we will manage. We're also TTC#2, because we don't see why the house move falling through should put our plans for a bigger family on hold. We will manage. We've already decided that if another baby comes along, we will convert our room into their room, and we will bunk in the lounge.

    It will work. That's the only thing we have in mind.
     
  7. LoobyLou75

    LoobyLou75 Mum of 3

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    Although I have 3 kids, the oldest one left home before my LO was born so I can't really comment on the financial side up bringing up 3 young children.

    I just think you cope. We have had to make cutbacks since having LO as I am a SAHM mum now and we manage. You live to your means.
     
  8. leelee

    leelee Mammy to 2

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    I agree with the others - just go with the flow and see how you get on with 2 first.

    I am one of 3 and my parents didn't have a whole lot of money when we were growing up but we had a great childhood :)

    I only want 2 myself though.
     
  9. weezyweu

    weezyweu Mum of 2 Boys and a girl.

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    I have just had my 3rd with a 6year age gap with youngest 10yr with eldest. No regrets at all, yes we had to buy everything again, he will have to share with his elder brother I can honestly say we are more prepared, relaxed with Leo. Will stop at 3 only because had difficult pregnancy.
     
  10. A3my

    A3my I am so lucky!

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    I think you adapt your life for each one. I have 3 but have a 9 yr gap between youngest 2. I'd love more but DH says no :(
     
  11. chetnaz

    chetnaz Have 3 boys + girl on way

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    My hubby only ever wanted 2 kids - i wanted more. Bu our financial situation isnt great. Fortunately the decision was taken out of our hands. When i was pregnant second time round he told me boy or girl this is our last child as two is enough. Imagine his shock when the sonographer said it was twins! I did have a good laugh at him! :) I can't say that i've noticed a difference financially too much as family have been very generous with gifts of clothes and as they are all boys I've kept DS1 stuff for the twins. But my DH looks more ahead than i do and his argument was what if they all want to go to uni. how will we afford the fees? Will we be able to give them all they need in the future. I guess time will tell. x
     
  12. loverguts

    loverguts Well-Known Member

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    Sorry, a bit OT but this really made me laugh!! I bet your hubbys face was a treat, hehe!!
     
  13. chetnaz

    chetnaz Have 3 boys + girl on way

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    Loverguts it was hilarious. He couldnt talk. I now know what they mean by dumbstruck. He just sat there and nodded while I panicked and kept going OMG you're kidding over and over again! lol. The funny thing is me and my sis kept joking it may be twins cos I just couldnt stop eating the first few weeks of pregnancy and was constantly neauseous (sp) and he said "well if its twins im running away". I'm still waiting for him to run! lol
     

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