ADMIN-please lock this thread as it is no longer supportive or on topic.

[sojourn]

You aren't. You basically implied those that do have their babies nap on them (I'll add that means either on the lap or in a sling) are sitting around in their own muck in dirty houses and have no pride in their own appearance. I don't appreciate that. I wear clean clothes, I prepare for nap time by making a drink and preparing food, my house is not a pig sty as believe it or not... I am capable of doing housework holding a child and I'm not the only person who lives in the house. 4 people live here - 3 of which are old enough to pick up after themselves, load the dishwasher or put a load of laundry on. Holding a baby doesn't mean the whole house and world falls apart around you. You learn to adapt and cope and it is no hardship. My original comment was tongue in cheek based on the fact your baby is tiny so you need to chill out a bit and enjoy the snuggles and excuse to sit and cuddle your baby and recover from birth. Your reply I took as rude.

I'm sorry you took my reply as rude. I felt like your original post was very rude and condescending. How is it your place to tell me to "chill out"? I don't need an excuse to cuddle my baby and recover from birth. I need fifteen minutes of time to take care of the OTHER things I care about.

Here's my reply:

I'm glad that works out for you guys. It doesn't work for us. I have pretty basic alone time/personal space needs. I hate watching my house fall apart, being constantly hungry, not being able to go to the bathroom, feeling hideous and unattractive and the general feeling of being pinned to the couch acting as either a mattress or a feeding trough.

I'd rather spend time holding, cuddling, feeding and playing with my child when he's awake.

I said "I" before every single one of those statements. I also said that I was glad that worked for you and said that it doesn't work for us. I did not imply anything about anyone's house, appearance or anything. I am glad that you are well practiced at motherhood and you are able to do all of those things while holding a baby. I hope I get to that point. Being as how this is my first, and I'm only three weeks in, I am NOT. I was addressing my own shortcomings and my own difficulties. Not yours. I am perfectly aware that many, many women are fully able to care for homes, children and themselves. Most of them have a little more than three weeks of practice. I was feeling accomplished at finally feeling like I was the kind of mom that could handle things and you felt like it was your place to come in with a snarky comment to remind me to "chill out". Adding to that many people chastising me and telling me how much my son needs to sleep on me, and yes, I have absolutely been attacked for letting me child sleep in his bassinet.

Can we please lock this thread? It's completely off topic at this point and is simply argumentative and NOT in the spirit of a support forum.

 

[Magsy]

It's so nice to see the more experienced moms come in to try to shame the new moms and brag that they can do it all while holding a baby. Well done, really. I can feel the support rolling off of you. God forbid she celebrate the fact that she got to eat a hot meal and read an entire chapter of a book. How about we remember how hard the first few months are and have some compassion instead of bragging about our mad parenting skills, mmmkay?

 

[kirstybumx3]

I would've given anything to hold my 3 week old all the time but I couldn't. Cherish these moments sweetheart because they don't last and babies are toddlers in the blink of an eye.
The first weeks aren't easy, and I know how you feel about wanting to get things done. But these precious days won't ever come back, so take any chance you can to cuddle LO if he/she wants that.
I have no chance of a cuddle off Rio now lol xx

Ps. It's great that your LO will on occasions sleep on their own, well done poppet. I hope it lasts for you, some babies are just easy like that. But they all have their mummy pillow days x

 

[Pearls18]

I'm so sorry you got bombarded by the self righteous mummy brigade. I'm pretty sure there was nothing in your OP asking for people's patronising comments. Ive never needed to have either of my boys sleep on me to get their nap, if they do it's because I'm enjoying the cuddles, but they are capable of sleeping elsewhere too, no one says every baby and mum has to do the same thing. I know what an achievement it feels like when you manage to get some things done, just because you're a mum now doesn't mean you don't have yourself or other things to concern yourself with either. I'm glad you had a productive day, I tended to use those early naps to sleep haha

P.s. Don't worry about what others say about the future, I'm sure you're well aware that things change on a daily basis, maybe you've got yourself a good little napper, but either way you had a good day and that's all this thread was about I also failed to read the part where you said you no longer need to cuddle your baby ever?

 

[Sinead82]

Wow, what should have been a nice wee thread about a mummy getting a break has turned into this?? Seriously, what is with the holier than thou attitude and almost shaming mums who dare to take some time for themselves to feel normal??

My lo rarely slept on me, she was content in her basket/ pram and only slept in me if I wanted her to or she was particularly difficult to settle. You have to do whatever works for you and we shouldn't be getting at each other for doing things differently. With my pnd and c section having time to feel normal was a godsend and made me a better mummy!

Op I'm glad you got a break today, and I hope u do again. When my lo was that age she slept 3-4 hour blocks and only woke to be fed and it was still really tough, so i appreciate how much today would have meant to you when you're not getting anywhere near that much for naps.

The only way out is through, and you do what u have to do to get through it 😄

 

[Pearls18]

I cannot believe the way in which a new, vulnerable mum has been jumped. I am genuinely shocked especially considering your profession Noo, if you wanted her to "chill out" all you needed to say (although still completely uninvited) was that this stage doesn't last forever and to enjoy the cuddles now, not your rude and patronising "tongue in cheek" comment and then to blart on even more condescendingly about her new role. Genuinely shocked.

 

[KatieB]

Baby Club at its finest. No need for any patronising comments in the first place but then that's the way so many threads go tits up on here. OP, glad you managed to get some time to chill out and get some stuff done x

 

[sojourn]

I'm so sorry you got bombarded by the self righteous mummy brigade. I'm pretty sure there was nothing in your OP asking for people's patronising comments. Ive never needed to have either of my boys sleep on me to get their nap, if they do it's because I'm enjoying the cuddles, but they are capable of sleeping elsewhere too, no one says every baby and mum has to do the same thing. I know what an achievement it feels like when you manage to get some things done, just because you're a mum now doesn't mean you don't have yourself or other things to concern yourself with either. I'm glad you had a productive day, I tended to use those early naps to sleep haha

P.s. Don't worry about what others say about the future, I'm sure you're well aware that things change on a daily basis, maybe you've got yourself a good little napper, but either way you had a good day and that's all this thread was about I also failed to read the part where you said you no longer need to cuddle your baby ever?

Oh, you missed where I wrote that I leave him to scream in the bassinet. Which is in the backyard...and there are WOLVES! I'm toughening him up so he's ready to go to work in the fields next month

There are LOTS of days where I use his naps to sleep! Often, when he sleeps on me it's like it is contagious and I am immediately drowsy.

I appreciate your support and kind words.

 

[highhopes19]

If having a new baby isn't hard enough but to come on here and get slated for being happy your baby is napping on their own takes the biscuit! Perfect mummy brigade strikes again!

New mums need supporting not heckled singled out made to look different or anything INBETWEEN!

I am with you as a mum of a 2 year old even right back to day 1 (I found much easier to get on and do things with a newborn tbh) your needs affect your babies! I felt a better mum able to cope better with all situations when I felt fresh and was in a clean environment... Ok not always possible but I certainly notice a difference in not only my outlook but the way I am as a parent when things needing to be done are done!

This mummy is not leaving her baby crying hungry so she can bits done around the home and to herself for crying out loud!

I'm not a mum personally (my opinion only) that believes "Excuse the mess my kids are creating memories" my home is immaculate and I'm proud of that doesn't mean my daughter misses out in any way because I need to get bits done and make myself look presentable Aswel

 

[staralfur]

While I agree with the sentiment that as a new mom you sometimes don't get the luxury of eating a hot meal, having alone time, doing your hair and makeup, etc. I'm not really sure why that was brought up in this particular thread. The OP wasn't saying "I'm going to let my 3 week old cry it out because I need to straighten my hair," she was excited because her LO slept alone and as a result she was able to do some unexpected activities. How is that a bad thing? Should she be like "Sorry buddy, you're not allowed to sleep on your own because I'm supposed to give up everything for you!!"?

So silly.

 

[AmarettiEtJus]

This place never ceases to amaze me....

Good on you for getting some mum time op.

 

[Sams123]

I agree op from day 1 I have taken time every day to put my make up on and get dressed first thing every morning- at times this has been almost impossible- I remember those first weeks well as imogen did not want to be put down- the mamaroo became our saviour haha! It meant I could have a drink and put some washing on in peace I now have a very happy very content 5 and a half month old now who I still love to have her nap on me once in a while but also appreciate the time alone when she is napping on the sofa/mat/in her cot! Bet you felt like a different woman after a chapter of the book and a cider I feel after even the smallest of breaks that I could cope with anything thrown at me x

 

[w8ing4bean]

the newborn stage is HARD!! Nothing can prepare you for it and everyone copes differently. Some use nap times to rest (i did! Lo would take 3 hour naps on me!) but others enjoy the time to do housework and grab a shower.

The op posted on here that she was happy and proud of her lo for napping alone - she doesnt deserve to be shot down typical baby club.

 

[x Michelle x]

While I agree with the sentiment that as a new mom you sometimes don't get the luxury of eating a hot meal, having alone time, doing your hair and makeup, etc. I'm not really sure why that was brought up in this particular thread. The OP wasn't saying "I'm going to let my 3 week old cry it out because I need to straighten my hair," she was excited because her LO slept alone and as a result she was able to do some unexpected activities. How is that a bad thing? Should she be like "Sorry buddy, you're not allowed to sleep on your own because I'm supposed to give up everything for you!!"?

So silly.

this exactly ^^

I cannot believe some of the responses to the OP.
I'm exactly like you OP, i enjoyed the fact my children napped in cots and moses baskets and i could do bits and bobs round the house ( i also has my children a year apart so i've always got my hands full!) I'm sure the OP is quite aware things will change, i'm sure she doesn't need the holier than thou brigade come in and basically tell her off for not having her baby sleep on her for every nap.
Enjoy it OP, make the most of it.
I had a strict nap routine with both of mine, always in their cots, at certain times and i like it that way

 

[HKateH]

OP take no notice. Good for you getting chance to put a bit of make up on and read a book! It was simple luxuries like this that stopped me from falling apart in the newborn days. Going from being an independent woman with plenty of time for herself to having a mewling, angry creature demanding my attention constantly hit me like a ton of bricks!

One piece of advice though - don't stress about housework - it can wait. If your son naps alone, paint your nails or have a hot coffee - as long as you all have clean(ish) clothes and your kitchen is clean(ish) then you're doing well with a newborn! I wish I hadn't stressed so much about chores in the early days. I wish I'd used that time to sleep or just take a breath!

 

[TrixieLox]

Well, the new title of this thread got me interested! I think you'll find MORE people will tune into this now than before, bless ya!

OP, I'm pretty similar to you actually, while friends fell apart at the seams in the early weeks, I was keeping the house tidy, reading LOADS and my LO seemed to be happy to sleep in her moses basket during the day. But this isn't the case for sooooooo many people - soooo many damn good mammas - and I think the tone of your responses came across as a little patronising - kinda 'hey, check me out, aren't I the model mummy?'. You probably didn't mean it that way (right?) so I'll just say, good on ya, girl, and let's hope you keep it up for the 4 months regression because that's when it all went a bit haywire for me... ;-) Or when they're crawling / walking and you can't leave them alone for a minute!

 

[Amy2701]

While I agree with the sentiment that as a new mom you sometimes don't get the luxury of eating a hot meal, having alone time, doing your hair and makeup, etc. I'm not really sure why that was brought up in this particular thread. The OP wasn't saying "I'm going to let my 3 week old cry it out because I need to straighten my hair," she was excited because her LO slept alone and as a result she was able to do some unexpected activities. How is that a bad thing? Should she be like "Sorry buddy, you're not allowed to sleep on your own because I'm supposed to give up everything for you!!"?

So silly.

this exactly ^^

I cannot believe some of the responses to the OP.
I'm exactly like you OP, i enjoyed the fact my children napped in cots and moses baskets and i could do bits and bobs round the house ( i also has my children a year apart so i've always got my hands full!) I'm sure the OP is quite aware things will change, i'm sure she doesn't need the holier than thou brigade come in and basically tell her off for not having her baby sleep on her for every nap.
Enjoy it OP, make the most of it.
I had a strict nap routine with both of mine, always in their cots, at certain times and i like it that way

Totally agree with this. I also had my babies a year apart.. And they've always napped in their Moses baskets/cots. I use the time to do housework, eat or prepare dinner. X

 

[MrsButterfly]

Good on you OP. Sounds like you've got a happy and contented baby.

Some of the responses to this thread though are so disheartening to read. Mums have a tough enough job as it is - wouldn't it be nice if we could just support each other rather than causing just more drama?

 

[Pearls18]

Well, the new title of this thread got me interested! I think you'll find MORE people will tune into this now than before, bless ya!

OP, I'm pretty similar to you actually, while friends fell apart at the seams in the early weeks, I was keeping the house tidy, reading LOADS and my LO seemed to be happy to sleep in her moses basket during the day. But this isn't the case for sooooooo many people - soooo many damn good mammas - and I think the tone of your responses came across as a little patronising - kinda 'hey, check me out, aren't I the model mummy?'. You probably didn't mean it that way (right?) so I'll just say, good on ya, girl, and let's hope you keep it up for the 4 months regression because that's when it all went a bit haywire for me... ;-) Or when they're crawling / walking and you can't leave them alone for a minute!

Another helpful post. "Enjoy this now, but don't get used to it" why? Just why? Why don't you just want her to enjoy today, she didn't say "right I have this cracked, motherhood will be a breeze!" I just don't get this nasty attitude of not letting a mother be proud of an achievement? Do you want me to say to you "just you wait until they turn 2, you have no idea!" It's one of the most patronising and, I find for me upsetting, things mothers say to one another, like you want to knock her down a peg.

 

[cookette]

Good grief ladies! Please tell me when you get your "Mother of the Year Award," I'll be sure to take note, but until then, I think I'll continue to believe that everyone needs to do what works for themselves as individual babies and family units...