ADMIN-please lock this thread as it is no longer supportive or on topic.

[supertabby]

Yes babies need to be held and it's natural for mammals to sleep cuddled up together etc etc. The op didn't say she never holds her baby and she didn't say she left her baby screaming while she read a book - I opened this thread after the title had changed and could not understand how the opening post could have possibly descended into "please close this thread".

Personally when I was a ftm I would never have had a day like that at 3 weeks pp, my daughter would only sleep being held - day or night - which we found out was due to reflux. It was so exhausting and while I loved the feeling of cuddling her as she slept on me in the afternoon, it was awful at the same time getting no sleep and not managing to get dressed or eat properly etc. I know that experience is not uncommon in the slightest but it was hard - most of us know that feeling. At around 3 weeks pp I made a list of things I wanted to do and started ticking them off when I did - put make up on, cook a proper dinner from scratch, blow dry my hair, wear high heels, etc. Little things some of which took months but wow it felt good to achieve them. Those little things can really improve your mood and when you're home on maternity leave those little things are your achievements that you can feel proud in. You don't have a project in the office that you've done good on, but you did hoover two rooms and put away some laundry and you're damn proud of it and going to share it!

Fortunately with my second child, he is happier being put down for naps. He needs to fall asleep on me but then I can put him in his bouncer or on his playmat and he'll stay asleep - maybe only 5 mins, maybe an hour or so - but it shows how different babies can be. It is a great thing for us too as this time I can't just sit there all day - my toddler needs me, while she can sit beside me and read books she has basic physical needs that I have to get out of the chair for. Being able to get us all dressed and fed breakfast in the morning I think has made the difference in my mood too, some days sure we don't get out of the house till 2pm when I intended it to be 10am but I am achieving a bit of housework, some playtime with my toddler, and getting myself dressed every day.

OP - I'm pleased you had a good day, you already know some days are easier than others and babies xhsnge continously but take the little moments to relax when you can (inc doing housework if that's relaxing - I know I feel happier after a little tidy up) and enjoy your baby. I'm not saying this to be patronising, I mean don't let anyone tell you that you shouldn't be doing this.

 

[TrixieLox]

Oh no! Just checked this and seen how my post has been misinterpreted. I was just sharing my experience and trying to explain why one of OP's posts may have got some backs up. Sorry for any offence caused.

Not Baby Club's fault, feel sad when people blame this forum, it helps so many people and the moderators do such a good job. It's just English linguistics and how easily tired mummies (myself included) can misinterpret the tone of some posts (my posts included, and OP's). I think some people just started using this as a way to share their own experiences and this came across as having a go, which it really wasn't.

Peace and hugs all around. xx

 

[kimberleyrobx]

It was the ADMIN title that got me reading some of this thread, OH MY GOD seriously girls?! Everyone needs a little 'me' time! Everyone needs at least two minutes to themselves! But great job on slating a new mum, well done baby club

 

[jodiex]

I hope my post didn't offend you! I wish Emily would sleep on me still .

I wouldn't be offended by any of the comments really. :/.
Op if you want a thread closed message the administration team because the title is only going to get more people to look at it

 

[Miss_Cellany]

I don't really understand why this got out of hand. I hope you don't think my first post was rude OP (I don't think you did as you thanked me!) and my second was just trying to calm the situation down so I didn't mean to sound patronising! When my LO was that age and used to scream in the evenings but sleep in the day, everyone told me it gets better which it does. But no-one told me the naps might get worse! So it was a complete shock to me and I wish someone had mentioned it.

Its fantastic that you get some you time. I definitely need it and love that DS now naps in his cot, even if it is only 30 mins.

 

[zanDark]

OP good for you for taking the time to look after yourself and your needs! I'm sorry your happy thread was ruined!

I don't understand the whole martyr attitude or the judgmental comments that keep popping up in most threads regardless of the subject!

I'm like OP...I need to get up and get dressed and put on some make up and feel like I look presentable. I also feel the need to keep my house spotless, have food cooked from scratch on the table, and keep on top of laundry etc as well as go out with baby every day. This doesn't make me a better or worse mother than anyone else my baby always napped and still does...obviously she naps less than when she was a newborn, but she still has a couple of naps that give me enough time to do whatever it is I need to do! She used to nap on me or my husband, but just because we wanted to hold her...not because she needed it! I always put her down awake when I know she's getting sleepy and she will happily self settle to nap unless it's one of those days when she feels like she needs a cuddle to sleep!

Other moms may not feel the need to put on makeup, or be OTT with the housework and that's fine too as long as they're happy and their babies are happy!

New mothers need to hear "well done" or "it gets better"...being a new mother is tough..you're recovering from birth, you're overwhelmed because you are responsible for a tiny helpless person, you're sleep deprived, your hormones are all over the place....we've all been there and know what it's like! So lets try and be more supportive instead of bringing negativity!

Some of us are lucky and have good sleepers and nappers...that doesn't make us terrible moms or less moms than those who have babies who need to be held all day long!

 

[KatieB]

It was the one comment that has caused a shitstorm (rightly so). Glad everyone else has been supportive, this kind of brusque patronising tone happens too often in Baby Club. It's so pathetic.

 

[NoodleSnack]

She has apologized, I think that's fair enough. Maybe time to close the thread.

 

[cat lover]

Blimey what a silly debate. If lo is happy napping in the cot etc then good for you. its working for your family and personally i think thats great. Housework DOES have to be done, ivr always found it baffling when people claim otherwise... how can you get by with no clean clothes or a plate to eat from?

Also agree that if you have 2+ children its not necessarily practical for them to sleep on you

 

[babyjan]

I just wanted to say well done OP! Your doing well being able to get things done with a 3 week old, I literally neglected my life at that point lol xx

 

[lhancock90]

Good for you OP, unexpected rest with a newborn is always amazing!

I do agree though, Noo has apologized, removed her original comments and left the thread, maybe its time to stop having a go at her now and move on?

 

[AP]

Thread closed

In future please contact one of the team if you wish a thread to be locked - we aren't alerted by the change of a thread title or a post in amongst the forum.