ADMIN-please lock this thread as it is no longer supportive or on topic.

[superfrizbee]

He is 3 weeks old. My boy still naps on me now

I'm glad that works out for you guys. It doesn't work for us. I have pretty basic alone time/personal space needs. I hate watching my house fall apart, being constantly hungry, not being able to go to the bathroom, feeling hideous and unattractive and the general feeling of being pinned to the couch acting as either a mattress or a feeding trough.

I'd rather spend time holding, cuddling, feeding and playing with my child when he's awake.

I think that goes for everyone actually! But in reality our needs come.second once we become parents. that said I know just what you mean. My dd was a shocking napper and when it just clicked around 9-10 months it was bliss!

I disagree. I think that making sure my needs are met makes me a better parent. When I get to brush my teeth and put on a clean shirt during the day, I know that I am a more patient and caring parent. If I make sure that I am fed and hydrated, then I am going to get less frustrated about breastfeeding. I choose to make sure that I prioritize my needs so that I can continue to meet the needs of my child in a healthy and stable way.

Oh i agree with you totally there! I didnt mean your needs dont matter or shouldnt get met, just that I find I have to to compromise sometimes on my needs, if you know what I mean? I can relax more but then the house is messier, or relax less and it's cleaner for example. anyway it was a complete digression off on a random trail of thought. glad you had a nice day - it's def important as a mummy

Wow! Just tuned back into this thread and seen it's exploded! I hope you didnt find my post rude/judgemental - that was the last thing I intended and I'm very sorry if came across that way.

 

[sept2010]

With marinewag on this...

Seriously all op is saying is baby slept in moses basket n she got some non baby related stuff done.
Isnt this normal? I for one and all my fam who have young babies do this. When baby sleeps mummy gets mummy things done...

 

[wtbmummy]

To op I'm sorry you've had such bad replies to your thread. I too wrote a thread the other week and had several harsh comments from a poster

I think its great you got some stuff done. I'm now slowly getting into a routine at 7weeks and I have always put lo down for naps in his carrycot or moses basket and even his bouncer since day one. I am so glad I did as like you I need that "me" time.

I always feel SOOO much better when ds has a morning nap and I can crack on with the housework. My mood is soo much better in a sparkling home. After that I can play with ds or go for a walk during his next nap to try n rid the extra pounds

Do what you have to do to lift your mood if you can and I hope your lo continues napping in his own bed for you

 

[Logan's Mum]

Well, the new title of this thread got me interested! I think you'll find MORE people will tune into this now than before, bless ya!

OP, I'm pretty similar to you actually, while friends fell apart at the seams in the early weeks, I was keeping the house tidy, reading LOADS and my LO seemed to be happy to sleep in her moses basket during the day. But this isn't the case for sooooooo many people - soooo many damn good mammas - and I think the tone of your responses came across as a little patronising - kinda 'hey, check me out, aren't I the model mummy?'. You probably didn't mean it that way (right?) so I'll just say, good on ya, girl, and let's hope you keep it up for the 4 months regression because that's when it all went a bit haywire for me... ;-) Or when they're crawling / walking and you can't leave them alone for a minute!

Another helpful post. "Enjoy this now, but don't get used to it" why? Just why? Why don't you just want her to enjoy today, she didn't say "right I have this cracked, motherhood will be a breeze!" I just don't get this nasty attitude of not letting a mother be proud of an achievement? Do you want me to say to you "just you wait until they turn 2, you have no idea!" It's one of the most patronising and, I find for me upsetting, things mothers say to one another, like you want to knock her down a peg.

Yes!!! You are a star for this, totally right.

OP, sorry this thread has gone off the rails. How on earth people can criticise you for getting time to yourself is beyond me x

 

[sheldonsmommy]

I have gotten my son to sleep by himself at night, but daytime naps he still seems to need to be laying on me to sleep. It is sooooo exhausting and tiring to be stuck every day.

Today though...he has taken THREE naps (two 15-20 minute catnaps and one long hour long one) all on his own!

So far I have:
Put clothes on
finished cloth diaper laundry
reorganized the changing table
started tonight's corned beef and cabbage dinner
tidied the house
put makeup on
got to eat food that was hot! (I usually eat everything lukewarm in case I drop it on him )
sat on the front porch and enjoyed a cider and a chapter of a book

Life is good!

Woohoo! My boys are both currently napping and I'm enjoying the sunshine while my homemade chicken pot pie cooks! Ignoring the laundry for now lol

 

[Smiler82]

OP - good for you. It is fab to get some time to yourself and I'm glad you enjoyed it Real shame the thread turned out how it did. I also got slated on here when LO was 4 weeks and I asked a question, basically got told I was an idiot. I didn't come back to baby club for weeks! It's not nice when you're a new mum to get this kind of response, hope you just remember the nicer comments x

 

[Noo]

OP, I am sorry that my posts made you feel that way. Evidently I misinterpreted your post and you misinterpreted mine leading to bedlam. I did not intend to make you feel that way and I apologise for doing so.

 

[sequeena]

Bless him. My SILs baby boy is 2 weeks old and she has the same mindset. She's very lucky he sleeps 3 hours at a time. I admit I find it a bit foreign as I always had my son attached to me but if it works it works!

 

[Iveneverseen]

I havn't read the whole thread but I agree every mum needs to have a little bit of time to themselves. weather it be to do basic stuff for yourself like have a shower, get dressed, make something to eat or just relax it is good for you. and if you are able to do those things then you are likely to be more happier.

when my 2nd child was born I breastfed and found it incredibly difficult to do anything other than feed. I remember feeding her then running myself a bath and as I stepped in she started screaming for yet another hour long feed. I found that difficult.

as much more easier when you just have 1 child to do things for yourself.

although going to the toilet on your own goes out the window when your a mum esp when your little one is a toddler

Congrats on the birth. as long as your baby is loved, cared for and fed and your enjoying your time together and showering him/her with hugs and kisses but still managing a little time to get your own basis needs met you are not doing anything wrong.

everyone is different and different things work for different people. but we all need to do stuff for ourselves and try do normal stuff too.

don't take notice of negative comments. I see where your coming from and im a mum to three x

 

[sue_88]

OP: my baby was the same.....and guess what she still is!! I got the "oh boy that won't last" comments, sarky "enjoy the 4 month sleep regression" ...never happened! And I breastfed and never had a cluster hours on end feed so never once had a baby lie on me for hours. No need, I enjoyed taking care of myself and doing my jobs! (Single mummy)

Enjoy your napping baby whilst you take care of yourself and the house hopefully he stays a good napper & you can get all the lovely awake time cuddles and sloppy kisses

 

[Wriggley]

Wow. I can't believe a new mum is being slammed so hard over voicing the fact she got a little time to herself :/

yes whilst we do as mums have to sacrifice and compromise around our little ones. I do think we need to take time for ourselves to

I for one cannot stand my house being messy and being in my pyjamas for to long after getting up

if my house is a mess and I'm not dressed I start getting frustrated and I don't function as well so I have a very strict routine in the morning which allows us to eat breakfast then all get washed and dressed and house cleaned so it is immaculate and that way we are ready to start the day with smiles on our faces

so yes every morning I do wash, get dressed, straighten my hair and do my make up. This does not make me a bad mum my kids are immaculate and they want for nothing and we do lots of activities with them constantly

 

[Stash777]

Good grief with some of these responses to OP!

So today while my dd napped in her crib, I:

Took the longest nicest shower EVER! (Morning nap)
Washed our bed sheets (morning nap)
Folded and put away her cloth diapers (mid afternoon nap)
I may even enjoy a nice glass of wine when she goes down for the night

And OP it gets easier, the first couple months are hard! But so far each month has gotten easier and she's slept longer for naps. She has just now started sleeping for 6 hour stretches at night, too. You're doing great! And fantastic for enjoying some you time

 

[vermeil]

Did you try a carrier? Baby can nap on you and it leaves your hands free, and you can move about the house. Good luck!

 

[eew1471]

Wow.
Glad to see that mommy martyrdom is alive and well.

When my son is happy to sleep in his bassinet. When he needs to sleep on me to be happy, he does that. With a newborn, I treat him every single day like he his a completely different person. I know that some days he screams like I'm torturing him to have a diaper change, others he gazes toward the lamp. Some nights I'm the only one who can settle him down, other nights he only wants to be sung to sleep by dad. If he's having a day where he his happy to sleep on his own, why on earth would I subject him (and me) to a day of being touched and cuddled when that's not really what he wants.

Babies need a clean environment, diapers and clothes, right? So OBVIOUSLY, letting my child sleep on his own (happily) while I clean and do laundry provides him (and me, and his dad) with a clean environment, diapers and clothes.

Babies need moms that aren't overwhelmed, frustrated, angry and resentful, right? So OBVIOUSLY my child sleeping on his own (happily) while I relax and take 15 minutes for myself provides him with a mom who can relax and enjoy a few minutes alone so she isn't overwhelmed, frustrated, angry and resentful.

Babies need loving families where, if there are two parents available, those parents have a happy, healthy relationship. So OBVIOUSLY, letting my child sleep on his own (happily) provides him with a mom who can put on makeup and real clothes so she feels like she is beautiful and smart and still attractive to her husband.

Babies need to learn enjoying their own company and being independent knowing that their parents are close at hand if needed. So OBVIOUSLY, letting my child sleep on his own (happily) provides him with the time and space to get a good start on learning that he can be alone while knowing that I am nearby for a hug or cuddle if he needs.

So, even if I don't make my kid nap on me every second of the day, I am still, OBVIOUSLY, meeting his needs. Isn't this a support forum? Why on earth am I being attacked for letting my content, sleeping son, sleep?

Yep they got u too.. I think it happened to me a couple of months ago and I haven't been on here much since! I used to love this site until my happiness got twisted in to a sick hot mess! Well I'm happy that your happy and to hell with the jealous ladies that obviously aren't happy with how the baby days are going! I think your a smart lady and you are on your way to a happy life.

 

[eew1471]

It's so nice to see the more experienced moms come in to try to shame the new moms and brag that they can do it all while holding a baby. Well done, really. I can feel the support rolling off of you. God forbid she celebrate the fact that she got to eat a hot meal and read an entire chapter of a book. How about we remember how hard the first few months are and have some compassion instead of bragging about our mad parenting skills, mmmkay?

That one pp is always on here making sure to correct us new moms... Sucks that we just can't have a moment to relax and enjoy this site. Damn shame! Maybe t next thread will work out better! I look forward to see how the good nap pattern progresses.

 

[RomaTomato]

DD was a breeze as a newborn. Seriously. She had some colic in the evenings from 11 days old until she was 6 weeks but otherwise she was (and still is...mostly!) an easy baby. She would nap for 3-4 hours during the day and started to sttn when she was 9 weeks (until she was 6 months). Anyway! I loved the fact that she would sleep and I could clean my house, do laundry, cook and even have a nap here and there myself! I even started sewing a quilt for her during her many naps! I can honestly say that save for the first week of her life, I have not felt exhausted as a new mom.

I really feel like being able to do "human things" like cleaning house and bathing are very important! If mom is feeling happy and refreshed and like she is on top of things then that is wonderful for everyone. If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

 

[Cccbb61013]

I'm an awesome multitasker. I have OCD. Multitasking, especially while cleaning is what I do. I clean a lot. I clean while sterilizing bottles, I clean while feeding the baby, I clean while playing with my 4 year old. I clean the bathroom while my 4 year old is in the shower. Heck, I clean the shower when I'm in it! I have perfected the art of multitasking. However, I have never once been able to clean a toilet while holding a baby. Or fold clothes while holding one. & since my washer & dryer is in the basement, I would never carry my baby down there to do laundry. I've dusted & vacuumed holding a baby. But I've never made the bed holding one. I certainly don't use cleaning products while holding one. So since I'm so big on multitasking, I'd love to know how to do these things while holding a baby. Even in a wrap I couldn't do most. Especially with a 3 week old with no head control.

I find that if things need done then my baby isn't getting the full attention he deserves. I'm just thinking of everything I need to do. If it's done, then I can relax which is better for the baby. Good for you for getting some you time. I don't know if you plan on having another but if so, enjoy that you time now because when you have another it's nearly impossible!

 

[mwah_xx]

Ahhh I remember the days of joy when he napped for more than 25 minutes!! And eventually they all do longer as they get older. In fact now I like it when my LO sleeps on me....because now I have guilt when I'm not doing housework at naptime so I get my own little nap

Glad you had a lovely day - stress free mummy means for a calmer baby and a happy daddy too!

 

[meli1981]

op....so glad you got some me time its much needed! You cant ket your house or yourself fall apart cause you have a baby! And as for the "four month" sleep regression thing....ummm this never happenned! .....for any of my children!

 

[halullat]

I'm a mum who is always holding my LO, he hates being put down and will cry if he is. Your LO was happily asleep not being held by you so I really don't get the negative comments! You were doing absolutely nothing wrong and I can't really see how your OP instigated this thread. It isn't like you said I left my LO screaming in his moses basket for hours on end because I needed me time!

I'm glad you had a good day too x