Adoption journey

[karenh]

I think this week is going to kill me. We got another notice today! This one is an 11 day old african american boy in Texas with special needs. Our caseworker said he would send our homestudy if we are interested. There will probably be a lot of people interested so we may not be picked, but we are going to look into it anyway. I can't believe we have had no emails about opportunities and this week we have three, all from different sources. I may just go insane.

 

[dreamofabean]

that's fantastic news Karen! It's crazy how it's all or nothing isn't it?! I'm going to keep everything crossed that something amazing comes from one if these links! X

 

[karenh]

Yes it is crazy. I have been doing some research into adopting from Honduras and I am not sure that it is fessable. I don't think our homestudy will work so we would have to go through all that again, and I am starting to think that you can't even adopt specific children from Honduras. They have to be orphans and you nave to go through and agency and get on a list for the next available child. Also, I asked the lady I spoke with to email the info for the adoption and the attorney down there that they said is willing to work with us and I haven't heard anything, so that makes me worry a little bit.

For this little boy, our caseworker said there will probably be a lot of applicants for him, but he will send our homestudy so we will see! I think that means we should be approved right?!?

I really hope that we aren't going to have this flood this week, have nothing come from it, and then hear nothing for two years. I don't think I could handle that.

 

[Lolly1985]

Oh wow Karen, that definitely means you'll be approved and maybe even get your little one/s very soon. Your head must have been spinning with all this news. Thinking of you and hoping your wishes come true very soon xxx

 

[aimze]

Fab news Karen! Sounds like the balls are rolling!! Xx

 

[pieceofpie]

Hello everyone, I am very new to this site and was glad when I come upon the adoption board. I was apart of the ttc thread but no luck in that area for a very long time.

Please if you may allow me to introduce myself.

I am a single woman who is in her early forties so I am maybe the oldest member here, lol. I had a child over ten years ago who died and a MC two years ago and just recently (last month) another MC. I was checked for diminish egg capacity and the results came back normal with 3.52 FSH and 4.21 LH prolactin was a bit low but not enough for alarm so now I classified as "unknown causes" if there is such a thing... perfect birth control method...lol.

God finally answer my prayers in the form of a private adoption I have entered into on 16th October 2013 giving me full and sole custody of the baby, the paper works have already started. My only responsibilities are medical expenses and national health insurance for one year. I feel good but for some reason I feel like I am missing out on something and would love to hear other stories from mom who are going through the same thing. We don't have issues in terms of adoption here, if the baby is born in a public hospital the government requires the baby stays in hospital for six weeks to ensure the birth mother is really not interested then its turn over to the adoptive parents. I am going the route of getting the baby immediately upon birth which is a private adoption.

I would love to hear from all the families who are adopting. Best of luck and thanks for letting me share my good news.

 

[dreamofabean]

Welcome pieceofpie wow, very exciting news! Where abouts are you from? There are lots of lovely ladies here who will be able to share stories with you some have their babies, the rest of us are still waiting x

 

[dreamofabean]

Well I'm back to school tomorrow after the holidays, so should be busy again which is what I need!!
Yesterday marked the one month mark to when we will hopefully be meeting our boy! Please, please let it work out ok! 17 days til match panel too, eek! Very strange to be doing it all backwards but hey ho, it's the story of my life

 

[pieceofpie]

Hi dream, thank you and I know what it must be like to be heading back to school. Hope everything work out for you.

I feel so guilty because I have read some of the post with keen interest and see what some of you ladies have to go through in order to get the love of your life a child and here I am just a phone call and everything is fine in less than one week.

I am from the Bahamas. We have many babies here that are looking for forever homes because most of the mothers are very young some as young as nine years of age (but in rare cases). Some of the mothers have two or more children already and not in a position to take care of them. Most persons who adopts in the Bahamas adopts privately, I think its easier and less complicated also you never have an issue with the birth mother she is just too happy to know her child has a loving home where they will not be abuse and once its done legally, everything is perfect.

I truly hope this work out for us all and that 2014 is a much better year.

 

[dreamofabean]

I think it's a case of our babies finding us Hun, regardless of how tough or easy it may be. So has your baby been born yet? Or is the birth mum still expecting? X

 

[karenh]

welcome to the group pieceofpie. How exciting that you are getting your little one. I really hope it goes as easily as it seems it will.

Dream hopefully work will make the time go quickly. It won't be too long now

 

[pieceofpie]

Dream, The birth mother is still expecting we are only 5 months along. I am expecting my bundle in March 2014, I have decided for her to communicate with a professional to ensure that this exactly what she wanted and this will be done Wednesday of this week and Thursday is our first appointment with the ob/gynae. The baby is mixed, Black and Asian, she is already the mother of two small babies age 5 and 2 and is currently engage to a white guy who wants nothing to do with the child but is not oppose to her giving it up immediately after birth for adoption.

The problem is both her and her fiancé, her families, and others think its for the best or so they claim and therefore, don't want anyone to know about the pregnancy hence the private adoption which is normal over here so I guess that is why I some what went for it but not before been positive that this is what she indeed wants, I had a brief discussion with her and she express her love for the baby so I thought her having a private discussion one on one without outside influence is best.

The relationship with her Black partner was against her family and friends but I somewhat blame them because they knew she was seeing him for six months and it was ok for him to support both her and them but not to have a child with.

Anyway it works in my favour because I am black with mixed background so the baby will fit in perfectly.

Karen, I hope things work out for the best.

Lola I am trying to understand if you already have the baby and the BM wants to be in his life or the adoption is not yet completed. I will have to finish reading the post before I comment further.

Dream, my fingers cross for you this week...and thanks for accepting me into your family I am most greatful.

 

[LolaM]

Lola I am trying to understand if you already have the baby and the BM wants to be in his life or the adoption is not yet completed. I will have to finish reading the post before I comment further.

Dream, my fingers cross for you this week...and thanks for accepting me into your family I am most greatful.

I have the child in my care but he isnt legally adopted and until that happens the BM has to have visits. Its total BS but its a process. BM is 19 and in no condition to care for HERSELF, let alone 3 small children. We have our first court date on Nov 20th.

 

[Loski83]

Hi how everyone doing? Welcome to our little group pieceofpie sounds like a quick process for you hope it all goes smoothly and it sound like he/she is going to be a very lucky child once born.
Not much happening here at the moment just getting on with life and raising our cheeky 2 year old.

 

[dreamofabean]

Hi all,
Hope everyone is ok
It's national adoption week this week in the uk I have been brave and posted a link to the website on my fb. It's a small step but a big one as although I'm very vocal as to our journey through infertility with people I see, I've never voiced my opinions on fb so lots if people are unaware of our situation. It will be interesting to see if anyone comments really!!
Today I've felt a bit humph as if there hadn't been initial court delays, today was the date that introductions were originally scheduled to start! Instead I was back at work and feeling sorry for myself I'm sure I'll have got over it by tomorrow but today I sulked! Ha ha!
Hope everyone is ok cx

 

[Nicki123]

I am going to my first adoption meeting Dream on Thursday, which is part of national adoption week. I'm pretty excited about it. It's been put on by a consortium of local authorities and agencies. I will report back!

 

[aimze]

Hope it all goes well NikkI!

We have our SW visit coming up...Eeeeck! Not sure what to expect and trying not to think about it too much so I don't wind myself up!

UK Ladies - I've read somewhere that you have to give them the names of past relationships so they can contact them to check you havent been horrid to kids...is this true?!

xx

 

[Lolly1985]

Welcome pieceofpie! Good luck with adopting your baby boy! It's very interesting of hearing how adoption varies so greatly overseas, I wish you well. Roll on March huh?!

Aimze we were told only if you were married or had children together. I was engaged previously and had a house with my ex but they didn't need to contact him thank goodness. I did have to discuss our relationship, why it failed and what I had learnt in home study though.

Good luck Nicki, glad you're feeling excited, can't wait to hear your thoughts.

Dream, love the link, good for you hun!! Also it's bound to feel a bit raw, sending big hugs lovely. Hoping above all hopes that this time next month you will be with your baby boy!

Karen any news?

Love to all!

Very nearly little pinks first birthday, she has a beautiful party dress to wear and mummy and daddy are busy buying balloons, banners and all things peppa pig

 

[karenh]

Dream: Sorry you had to reach that milestone when you would have met your little one. That is hard. Good for you though for putting the link on facebook! It is national adoption month here in the US. I told everyone. : )

Nicki: Good luck at your meeting. How exciting!

Aimze: Good luck with your meeting with SW. I am sure it will be great, and you find you stressed for nothing, like most of the people here. We are funny like that, but we have all been there.

Lolly: First birthday! How fun! Have a splendid time!

So life has been crazy and confusing the last week or so being bombarded with adoption prospects but massive hurdles to all of them. We are not going to pursue more info with the 12 year old boy. I have been doing more research about adopting through Honduras and I also received and email about the little girls story. It is so sad. However, after tossing and turning and praying, we have come to the conclusion that we really can’t adopt these girls. I really want to, and I feel so sad that they still have to wait for their home, but we can’t afford to start all over, or miss the month of work and school we would have to take to go to Honduras. We also feel as though God led us to our domestic agency for a reason. When we started looking into adoption we were trying to adopt international, but really felt led here. I feel guilty saying no to them, but at the same time I feel a calm knowing I have made the right decision. As for little boy, I am not sure what is happening yet. I know my caseworker was working really hard Friday afternoon to get everything finalized for us to be approved so he could send our file down. I don’t know if he was able to accomplish that. I have emailed him this morning, but he probably won’t even be in the office for 1-2 hours. It is only 7 am here. We know if this doesn’t work out, it will be ok and we will be with our children someday, we just have to be patient. I just really hope that we don’t have silence for the next two years. This has made me really ready to actually bring a child home. Two years waiting would be really hard.

 

[Rainy123]

Hi all,

Proper busy here - back at work again after half term so that's keeping me busy. SW is back from leave at the end of this week so I will go back to checking my phone every 2 minutes...just incase!

Nicki - hope the meeting on Thursday goes well. I remember being so excited to be taking that first step.

Aimze - my social worker wanted details on all previous significant relationships. Not sure whether she contacted them in the end but I gave her all the details. I think there was a case a while ago where an adoptive parent killed/hurt the child and if they'd contacted previous partners they would've known about his violent past, so I understand the reason to do it.

Karen - well done on making a good decision with your head. It is tough to do but it is the right decision for everyone in the long run. I hope that I can follow your lead when I start considering children