Adoption journey

[dreamofabean]

Lolly it just sounds so wonderful!! I'm loving the updates!!!
Karen those colours are lovely x

 

[Rainy123]

Been a busy few days so no posts from me but I have been trying to read regularly. Work has been so stressful that I almost managed to forget about panel but suddenly there's no work to distract me. So nervous and where I'm so tired, I just keep crying. So scared I'll be deferred and I'm already fed up with waiting

 

[dreamofabean]

Ah rainy you will be absolutely fine! I was sooo worried about panel but we sailed through! I had absolutely convinced myself something would go wrong but it went fine, so please try and believe you will be fine too!!
Stress is just a killer though, and the adoption process can be oober stressful! X

 

[karenh]

I just found out a coworker is also adopting. He said they have been waiting for a match since March. I said I bet the waiting has been hard. He said not compaired to the wait to be approved, which I believe is the same as your panel. This is the stage we are at as well. It is really hard. Hang in there. Everything will work out.

 

[Lolly1985]

Love the colours Karen!

Rainy I am sure you will be just fine lovely, but understand the nerves and 'what ifs', I was just the same. BUT it was such a positive experience and I felt silly for all the worry. Good luck to you but I'm sure you won't need it

So day 5.... (Dream, you'll already have seen this )

Just got in.... I've hit a wall.... I am so so tired! 13 hours a review meeting and over 160 miles in a day will do that though I guess! I cried in Tesco carpark, I cried thinking about how much the foster carers will miss little lady, I cried when a lovely lady (you know who you are... ) sent me a beautiful poem, but no tears in front of baby girl, so success!!

Today we arrived and played until 10 o'clock when people started arriving for the review meeting. Mummy got you down for a sleep so we could meet without all the social workers cooing over you!! The meeting went brilliantly and it was nice to hear the foster carers say she is doing better than they had expected. So placement day is officially confirmed for Friday!

Next Mummy and Daddy went home and made the sitting room baby paradise with all your new toys! You arrived a little after and took it all in your stride, looking around and crawling to explore. We showed you your new room and you loved the wall stickers, shouting 'ahhh ahhh' when you saw the monkey, Daddy was super impressed with your animal sounds!! The foster carers said you were a very lucky girl and it made our day.

Once you were settled with Mummy the foster carers snuck off and you continued playing happily for about 20 minutes. Then you crawled to the stairgate and started shouting (for them I think :'() Mummy distracted you with some carrot puff snacky things and after that you were full of smiles and giggles for the rest of the afternoon. You had some tea in your new highchair and then it was back to the foster carers. Naughty little pink.... you fell asleep! At 5.30pm.... uh oh!! Mummy tried all her tricks but the car journey was too long and you couldn't last. we woke you up and you were again smiling back at us, wish Daddy was that happy when he wakes up!!

We played outside for a bit before you fell forward and bumped your head on the decking :'( Cue tears and scream for a loooong time, we felt so terrible. Mummy consoled you for a while but really you just wanted your foster carers, which admittedly is hard, but totally understandable. Once you'd settled Mummy and Daddy did your bath, you were very happy splashing about, although weren't so keen to have your hair washed!! After that it was jim-jams and bottle time. The late sleep meant after the bottle you started throwing your dummy at me and giggling, obviously in no mood to sleep! After a while we all decided it was best for Mummy and Daddy to go as it was all becoming a bit of a silly game! The foster carers gave us a present from their daughter, some food, gorgeous clothes, your cups, some gifts from your first Christmas, your red book, and the wrist bands from the hospital when you were born. It's all getting very emotional...

Anyway tomorrow we are picking you up at 9 and you come to Mummy and Daddy's all day! (poor kitty!) We can't wait to see you, but until then we need to sleep!!!

 

[karenh]

Lolly what a precious day. She will so look forward to reading these posts some day. Try and get some sleep tonight. I can only imagine how worn out you must me. Tomorrow will be more of the same, and so wonderful!

 

[aimze]

lolly you have again brought tears to my eyes! I can't wait to get to that part of our journey..

Ladies...I have a "situation" at the moment and i'm not sure what to do...

So after the MC and IVF etc we had a reveiw apt in September, it was agreed that he would test us because of the recurrent MC for chromosone issues and do a hysteroscophy to check for womb issues plus i've been having weird pains since ivf...

So we have our DR health check next week to send the form to the adoption agency...I am really worried they are going to turn around and say that we're not ready for adoption because we're still under the consultant...

My reason for still being under the consultant is A: These tests are £1200 private and i might as well know what my chromosones look like for any future issues an B: What if i get naturally pregnant (high unlikely) in 10 years (only 26 now) and they find an issue that would stop me miscarrying but because i didnt investigate further i have another loss....

So I don't know what to do...Pay the health check an carry on with the coursework for them to possibly say they dont want us any more or just stop the whole process and wait for the results to come back?

We're 100% set on adoption, we dont want any further treatment so i would never accept IVF even if they offered it free on the NHS.

Especially reading Lolly's story!

 

[karenh]

That is a really tough place to be. It would be really nice to have some answers, but also the agency could see it as not being over or having completely dealt with your loss yet. I don't know. Hopefully you can come to the decision that you both will feel comfortable with.

 

[aimze]

Thanks hun...I think it all comes down to that we dont want any treatment, i just hope we havent got to pay the health visit price an then them knock us back!

 

[Rainy123]

Well today was panel day and I survived! Got asked tons and tons of questions which was a bit of a surprise but got a unanimous yes at the end!
So happy and also relieved that I now know this WILL happen eventually

 

[aimze]

Amazing update rainy! What's next? Xx

 

[Rainy123]

Now it's the waiting game again - wait for ratification and then wait until my social worker has profiles for me to look at

 

[karenh]

Rainy that is awesome! We knew it would go well. Yay! Hopefully your caseworker will have some profiles for you soon!

 

[karenh]

My mom and I are going to brows Babies R Us after work!

 

[dreamofabean]

Awww rainy congratulations!! Amazing news xx

 

[Rainy123]

Thanks all. Good luck in babies r us, Karen - I always get carried away!

 

[karenh]

Thanks. I am sure I will. However, having NO money right now will help. : ) We are almost done paying off our credit card then maybe I can start thinking about buying things a little at a time.

 

[dreamofabean]

Aimze would it show on your medical? I know our treatment showed up obv and any medication but I can't remember it there was anything on there about ongoing problems. If you have a reason behind it I think you should be ok? I may be wrong though.
Karen enjoy! I love that place now! To be able to walk in and not want to sob anymore!

 

[Lolly1985]

Oh Rainy that is amazing news Congratulations lovely, I knew you would do brilliantly! Here's hoping to a speedy match, but for now, breathe and enjoy the happiness in knowing you will be a mummy

Sorry all.... I am too tired to read back too far but had to do my daily post, so here is day 6...

So today little pink you came to your new house all day!! You have been brilliant, better than Mummy or Daddy could ever have hoped. After a sleep in the car we went shopping!! But not before we were a bit cheeky and stopped at grandma's to let her peek through the window at her sleeping little granddaughter!! Well, we had to pass to get to the shops anyway It was so lovely, she had tears in her eyes and said 'oh Lolly, she is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, I can't believe she is ours'. Amazing!

We went to the shops and bought some gifts for the foster carers and the other little girl you have been in placement with. Then we went home and you played with Daddy while Mummy made you dinner. You at it all up!! Next was sleep time. We put you in your pushchair in your new room and you went straight to sleep, well, we'll ignore the 5 minutes of singing first!! After 45 minutes, ping, you were was awake again!! We Skyped Granny and Granddad who live far away and they watched you chase the poor cat! After we had rescued kitty you waved at the screen and they melted!

You have explored the house again and sat with Daddy on the bed with your bricks for a long time. I love watching you with Daddy! Or rather Daddy with you. He is so smitten and after all the heartache and the uncertainties he had around adoption way back in another life, he now says it is the best thing he has ever done and it was all meant to be. When I see you two together I know he is right

Little pink, you ate up all your dinner up and then Mummy and Daddy had a well deserved cup of tea while you watched in the night garden and chatted away to all the characters! Next we did some singing and once again you amazed us by beeping the horn all by yourself when Mummy started singing the wheels on the bus. Clever girl!

Mummy ran you a bath, but before we braved it and we did some glittery handprints to put with your photo in the frame for your lovely foster carers. You loved your bath and after we got you all talked up and into your pyjamas Daddy gave you your bottle and you fell asleep staring into his eyes

We headed back to the foster carers, you sleeping in your pyjamas ready to be put straight into your bed. Of course as soon as the engine stopped, ping, you were awake Again we had to leave you as you were getting giggly with Mummy and Daddy and wanting to play. Poor bubba, its all so confusing right now. We picked up more of your clothes and kept your bottles, tomorrow we will get your memory box full of precious things.

Mummy drove home and was so tired it probably wasn't safe Silly Mummy nearly ran a red light and Daddy had to shout at her to stop Then she stood at the front door for a while until Daddy reminded her that she had driven and the keys were in the ignition

See you at 9 o'clock little pink, sleep well, we certainly will ;D Mummy and Daddy think tomorrow is going to be a park day!!

 

[dreamofabean]

Love reading your updates!! Always read them about 20 times over! Lol! Sweet dreams honey x