Adoption journey

[Nicki123]

So so so happy for you lolly

 

[Aimee4311]

Yay Lolly!!!

 

[Loski83]

What age have you been approved for lolly?

 

[Lolly1985]

Boy or girl 0-3 years Thanks everyone for the lovely comments Was very rudely woken up by the doorbell this morning, but can't complain too much as my amazing friend had sent a calla lily basket and card saying enjoy watching this grow as your family does So happy

 

[LolaM]

We are assigned a case # and a licensing worker!!!!

 

[AndreaFlorida]

Wowwweee all sorts of awesome news the past few days!!!! Very happy for all of you and how sweet with the Lily that is so thoughtful an precious

 

[Lolly1985]

Isn't it lovely Andrea?! It is actually a friend who is starting her own adoption journey next month. I need to get thinking what to get her when she of course gets approved!!!

Happy Friday ladies

 

[dreamofabean]

What a lovely thought from your friend lolly! Be sure to take good care of that plant now
Happy weekend everyone x

 

[LolaM]

If you get a girl, you can name her Lilly!

 

[Lolly1985]

Haha, good thought Lola except we don't get to choose!! Can be a little nickname maybe?!

 

[zero7]

Talking about gifts.......any ideas of a small gift for our SW and pickles SW who will both be attending at our celebration day??????

Xx

 

[AndreaFlorida]

Lolly you don't get to change names on the final adoption? In the US we change their birth certificates to reflect the adoptive parents as the natural birth parents. In my opinion I think it should say "Adoptive" mother father etc. but they actually change it to where it says that we gave birth to them. We are asked toward the end of the finalization process if we'd like to change their names...of course since our girls were 3 and 6...we chose not to as they were already aware of what their names are. Anyways just was curious how that works where you live?

Our good news came yesterday we got told they were pushing to finalize everything for June 30th...PRAYING thats when it all happens!

 

[Lolly1985]

June 30th Andrea, brilliant, that is so soon now

Should probably explain a little better. Name changing is very much frowned upon here (first names). We do a lot of work throughout the process which focuses on identity and honouring a child's history. So a big part of that is a child's name and it is really encouraged that we keep the only 'gift' that the birth parents have given their child. By accepting them and their name it is considered accepting of where they came from so good for their self esteem etc. We were even told by our SW that if we were not comfortable with a child's name that they may not be the right match for us. Of course if the name is very unusual and traceable, and therefore threatens security it may be changed. Sometimes this is the spelling of the name or other times to a name very similar. Also if the name is considered that random and the child is threatened with possible bullying or something later then it may be changed too. In prep we heard of a child who had been named porridge!!

When the adoption order in the UK goes through they take your surname and often at this time the middle name is changed or one added. We also get a new birth certificate. Of course once the AO is all official then you can do what you like, but by that point I would consider it cruel and confusing to change a name used by a child for months/years, and surely that would cause regression as they would once again question there whole identity.

 

[Loski83]

Hi all, Andrea congrats on the finalisation date. Lola congrats on your news. Zero we just bought silver pens with gift box for sw and we bought ff a willow tree figurine called forget me knot. Lolly we had all that about identity as well, we kept our lo's first name the same. Then we changed her middle names and she has our surname.
We got a new birth certificate through the post yesterday so not sure what we get at celebration hearing.

 

[LolaM]

when my sister was adopted her name was Elizabeth, my mother changed her name to Eliza Beth, why she did that I DO NOT KNOW. Just got hte news that my 28 year old sister has breast cancer and must have a double mastectomy ASAP! Im trying to get home this summer to see her, though im not sure there is much I can do for her.

 

[Lolly1985]

Oh god Lola, I am so so sorry to hear your awful news

 

[LolaM]

Oh god Lola, I am so so sorry to hear your awful news

its been a tough few years for my sister, she is now caring for Eliza Beth because our mother died during a routine surgery and she also has a 3 year old of her own.

 

[dreamofabean]

Oh Lola I'm so sorry to hear that

 

[AndreaFlorida]

Lolly thanks for the explanation...its kind of the same way we felt towards the girls here. They were old enough to know their names so we chose not to change them. I don't like their middle names too much but I suppose we will just have to keep them the same...we may change those eventually since they don't know them too well. We will discuss it later down the road when they can decide for themselves I suppose

We know the girls fit well since we have this thing about having "Y's" in the names LOL...the girls had both Y's so we decided that was AWESOME...I wanted to change Haley to Hayley...but hubby talked me out of it.

Lola I'm so sorry my goodness Prayers for your sister and the entire family...and also sorry to hear about your mother I can't imagine how hard it would be to lose my mom. I lost my dad at age 24....I miss him so much...but my mom...I can't imagine if I ever lost her Again lots of prayers for the family!

 

[dreamofabean]

Hi girls,
Hope everyone is ok!
Today I completed our family book our Sw collects it tomorrow!! It's our last scheduled appointment with her and I'm just praying that June panel will be confirmed
!! I'm really happy with the book I made a cover for it out of fabric and added embellishment etc, its very cute! Love it!!