Adoption

[josheten]

Hey, who's into this? Give us a high 5!

 

[Cinnamon]

Yup, yup, yup, my last kid will be adopted, maybe number 4, maybe number 5... How long before adopting do you have to look into it? xxxxxx

 

[Pyrrhic]

We'll be adopting too, but once Niamh is older and has probably left home. I'm very keen to foster and then adopt and before I become pregnant we were going through the process of registering as foster carers.

 

[Cinnamon]

Hmm, that sounds good rafwife, what exactly is it about and how does it work?? xxx

 

[lozzy21]

Id like to foser now but OH is a pleb and its still going through the whole selfish process, even when it comes to having his own kids.

Iv told him he needs to get used to the idea of fostering at some point cos its something i plan on doing.

 

[bubbles]

I would adopt but DH wouldn't "see the point when we can have our own"
I have however told him that once we are done having kids I will be looking into surrogacy. I just love the idea of being able to give birth to a child that will bring so much joy to another couple and make another woman a mummy. He really doesn't want me to do it before we have all the kids we want incase something went wrong and I couldn't have any more

 

[Cinnamon]

I would adopt but DH wouldn't "see the point when we can have our own"
I have however told him that once we are done having kids I will be looking into surrogacy. I just love the idea of being able to give birth to a child that will bring so much joy to another couple and make another woman a mummy. He really doesn't want me to do it before we have all the kids we want incase something went wrong and I couldn't have any more

Wow, you're brave!!!! I don't know if I could cope with it... It's a really nice thing of you to do!!! xxxxx

 

[lozzy21]

Iv been thinking of surogacy but it all depends on if i could give lo away after iv carried it and gave birth. Id deffo think about egg donation

 

[calm]

Id like to foser now but OH is a pleb and its still going through the whole selfish process, even when it comes to having his own kids.

Iv told him he needs to get used to the idea of fostering at some point cos its something i plan on doing.

LOL, you are such a bossy cow lozzy!

I love the idea of fostering, but, I think it would break my heart to let him/her go again, don't know if I am made of the right material, I have always been one for getting too involved, it would happen to me the same when teaching primary, some kids I just wanted to take them home because of whatever horrible home circumstances they were having.

 

[bubbles]

I'd be worried egg donation would be more painful than giving birth stupid I know but I have heard it really hurts and the drugs to make you ovulate can make you really ill

 

[Cinnamon]

Excuse my ignorance: do they have to "operate" you for that? Eggs I mean? xxxx

 

[bubbles]

I would adopt but DH wouldn't "see the point when we can have our own"
I have however told him that once we are done having kids I will be looking into surrogacy. I just love the idea of being able to give birth to a child that will bring so much joy to another couple and make another woman a mummy. He really doesn't want me to do it before we have all the kids we want incase something went wrong and I couldn't have any more

Wow, you're brave!!!! I don't know if I could cope with it... It's a really nice thing of you to do!!! xxxxx

I think once you've had your own you go into something like that knowing the joy it brings and altough it would be hard to say goodbye it would be so worth it in the long run. Not saying you can't do it if you haven't had kids or even imagine doing it (sorry just realised that could have sounded really arrogant)

 

[bubbles]

they have to draw them out of you, but from what I remember reading (this is very rarely done so could be wrong) they get your body to produce a few at a time to make sure they can get a harvest from you. Not sure about how they draw them out exactly but would imagine they would go straight into the ovary. I could just be making this up as I go though

 

[calm]

At a rich private school I taught some years ago, a couple that were millionaires had a girl. Her hair was always tangled, then never sent her to school washed, they had soo much money, but no time to show their daughter the basics or give her their attention. Then apparently it became fashionable to adopt, and they had a lovely blond Russian girl. She used to come to school in pretty much the same state as her sister. I remember seeing them on the floor outside the school, one's dark hair agaisnt the other's blond. They both looked like abandoned orphans. I wanted to pick them up, take them home, wash their hair, show them how to look after themselves, give them the pride and confidence in thinking it was worth doing, give them attention and spend all my free time making them feel the centre of someone's world. I feel really sad now thinking about it.

 

[lozzy21]

Id like to foser now but OH is a pleb and its still going through the whole selfish process, even when it comes to having his own kids.

Iv told him he needs to get used to the idea of fostering at some point cos its something i plan on doing.

LOL, you are such a bossy cow lozzy!

I love the idea of fostering, but, I think it would break my heart to let him/her go again, don't know if I am made of the right material, I have always been one for getting too involved, it would happen to me the same when teaching primary, some kids I just wanted to take them home because of whatever horrible home circumstances they were having.

Yep i am a bossy cow ad iv told oh if he dosent like it he knows where his mother lives

 

[lozzy21]

Excuse my ignorance: do they have to "operate" you for that? Eggs I mean? xxxx

They dont operate as in cut you open but you have to have jabs to make your body realise more than one egg and then they knock you out and harvest the eggs wth a realy thin tube like a canular

 

[calm]

Another thing I would like to say about adoption. As a teacher I have seen many adopted children. In spain it is very hard to adopt from our country, so people usually go abroad. Most people aren't able to adopt until the child is one or two years old. By then, they have gone through experiences that many of us won't ever go by, as the children's tutors, I was told the details and a pretty sore pill it was too swallow. Because of all of this these children need 10 times more attention, and many have learning difficulties. That is why one lovely couple told me they could not adopt another child, the first boy they had adopted needed so much of their attention they had to stop there. They had adopted an Ukrainian 2 year old boy. He was a child of a alcoholic mother, and this gave him a sindrome just to start him of in life. Then there was the orphanage and the awful things that happened there (no reason for upsetting anyone with the stories).... the parents told me in horror that the Ukrainian orphanage had wanted to give them a picture book so to pick their child, you know, like he/she was a car or something. They refused and finally were given a child randomly, they didn't even say they wanted a girl or a boy, just like when you get pregnant and don't pick the sex of your baby. Believe me, this boy needed plenty of attention.

I just wish I could go to that orphanage and take all of them with me

 

[maddiwatts19]

i've never really discussed adopting or fostering with OH, but it is something i've thought about.. unfortunately, i know too many people that foster for the wrong reasons but i really do have a lot of admiration and respect for people that foster and adopt.

 

[AutumnRose]

I want to be a foster carer and adopt

 

[sparkswillfly]

At a rich private school I taught some years ago, a couple that were millionaires had a girl. Her hair was always tangled, then never sent her to school washed, they had soo much money, but no time to show their daughter the basics or give her their attention. Then apparently it became fashionable to adopt, and they had a lovely blond Russian girl. She used to come to school in pretty much the same state as her sister. I remember seeing them on the floor outside the school, one's dark hair agaisnt the other's blond. They both looked like abandoned orphans. I wanted to pick them up, take them home, wash their hair, show them how to look after themselves, give them the pride and confidence in thinking it was worth doing, give them attention and spend all my free time making them feel the centre of someone's world. I feel really sad now thinking about it.

that is sad

I really want to adopt or foster. I hope I can in the future