Advice about vistiation and going through solicitors!

[laura1991]

Im having a bit of trouble with FOB over visitation, were going through solicitors but im having a few problems, i dont really want to post it incase he sees, so if anyone doesnt mind me asking can i PM them? thank you!

 

[KiansMummy]

You can pm me hun if u want. ive gone through the solicitors and mediation recently with Fob i may be able to help xx

 

[blue.bird]

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[Kacie]

Sounds like you girls are going through the same things I am at the moment. Ridiculously awkward FOB, Solicitors, Mediation, a court case (that has been postponed) and overnight stay issues.

I don't tend to post about it in here as I get paranoid about FOB stalking.. but I talk about it a bit in the girly sanctuary.

Youa re welcome to PM me, I am not sure if I can help, we have been through a gazillion solicitor's letters and 1 mediation session so I don't know if I can help with anything else but I will certainly try and help and offer sympathy etc.

xxx

 

[KiansMummy]

Sounds like you girls are going through the same things I am at the moment. Ridiculously awkward FOB, Solicitors, Mediation, a court case (that has been postponed) and overnight stay issues.

I don't tend to post about it in here as I get paranoid about FOB stalking.. but I talk about it a bit in the girly sanctuary.

Youa re welcome to PM me, I am not sure if I can help, we have been through a gazillion solicitor's letters and 1 mediation session so I don't know if I can help with anything else but I will certainly try and help and offer sympathy etc.

xxx

You sound like uve gone through the exact same as me.. Why are men such hard work! >? x

 

[xSophieBx]

I'm going through the exact same thing as u ladies. I don't like posting about it either but u can pm me So far I'm at the solicitiors and getting supervised contact in a contact centre sorted. I have had great advice off someone thats been through it all to get his kids and his given me tips etc. xx

 

[xKARENxBABYx]

been through it all too dunno why there pricks aiden's dads put me through sh*t and hes getting overnights at 9 months hate how i was told if it went to court he would get it!! so upset! also get parnoid about FOB stocking me on this put if he is YOUR AN ASS.. could say much worse though.

 

[Kacie]

My solicitor told me that the court will basically yell at the mother until they give in and give the FOB what they want! Tables are turning so that the mother doesn't automatically get the rights so, if a father shows willing, then the courts try and favour them! There are also so many cases of mothers doing and saying everything they can to stop FOB being in their child's life for no real reason so the courts are just soo backed up with cases and don't look at the details..

BUT what I was told is that if you stand your ground and have good reasons to back up your answers then they are unlikely to force you into a situation that you are unhappy with... especially not at a first hearing. You might have to put up with a judge yelling at you though and a smug look on FOB's face whilst the judge is yelling but if you can stand your ground then FOB is less likely to get his own way at the end of it..

I was told that court is actually another form of mediation but the judge just pushes you harder to get a conclusion. So just know what you would be happy with and how far you are willing to compromise and stick to it.

Hugs to anyone going through it!

xxx

 

[mummaofthree]

I have court tomorrow. Been going through it for years. N just as u said I've experienced the judges having ago at me despite the circumstances.

Always here if u want advice on how I dealt with it. Xx

 

[Kacie]

I have court tomorrow. Been going through it for years. N just as u said I've experienced the judges having ago at me despite the circumstances.

Always here if u want advice on how I dealt with it. Xx

Thank you, I hope court went ok for you. Can't believe they call it a justice system if they are just yelling and bullying people into doing things that go against their instincts as a mother.

 

[laura1991]

I got made to give access, in a few weeks possibly unsupervised. devostated isnt the word.

 

[Kacie]

I got made to give access, in a few weeks possibly unsupervised. devostated isnt the word.

It sucks.. I was told they will always give access to FOB.. no matter what FOB has done in the past

Hopefully it can be minimal access and kept supervised until you feel more comfortable with it.

 

[laura1991]

I got made to give access, in a few weeks possibly unsupervised. devostated isnt the word.

It sucks.. I was told they will always give access to FOB.. no matter what FOB has done in the past

Hopefully it can be minimal access and kept supervised until you feel more comfortable with it.

My solicitor was a big led down tbh, my normal one wasnt in. its resulted in the restraining order gone, supervised visits at a contact centre however if he proves his mental state in can be unsupervised, he grabbed her face and screamed your mums a stupid bitch only three weeks ago, that doesnt matter. hes gonna get what he wants, he clever and calculated.

 

[Kacie]

I got made to give access, in a few weeks possibly unsupervised. devostated isnt the word.

It sucks.. I was told they will always give access to FOB.. no matter what FOB has done in the past

Hopefully it can be minimal access and kept supervised until you feel more comfortable with it.

My solicitor was a big led down tbh, my normal one wasnt in. its resulted in the restraining order gone, supervised visits at a contact centre however if he proves his mental state in can be unsupervised, he grabbed her face and screamed your mums a stupid bitch only three weeks ago, that doesnt matter. hes gonna get what he wants, he clever and calculated.

Oh Goodness that is awful!

How long does he have to go supervised before they will make in unsupervised? I hope it's a long time. Past restraining orders must show that the supervision is necessary?

I have a calculated FOB too but he hasn't done anything phsyical yet. Just made false accusations and played a thousand mind games that make me think he could get physical.

All I have learnt from all this is that common sense does not exist in the legal system. I can't offer any advice.. just lots of Can you talk to your normal solicitor and see about keeping the supervised contact as long as possible?

xx

xx