Advice needed !!

[funkym]

Hi girls - really could do with some advice!!

I am WTT until Sept (as i have had 2 mc/s and we are going to Canada for 2 weeks in Sept). We have planned to get married in July 2010 and we nearly booked the venue BUT my friend was saying that i wouldnt be able to afford a baby and get married. I was just gonna go with the flow and see what happens but we have to put a £1000 non refundable deposit for the wedding venue, what would you do??

Would you...wait until after the wedding TTC (in 2 years) or would you have a baby then wait a few years before getting married?!! I really dont know what to do!

Sorry for the rant

 

[porkpie1981]

Its up to u but im would ttc now as theres always sumthing to put off ttc(such a pain)

 

[Rah]

Hmmm difficult
It really up to you
But i think i would carry on they way you are TTC and plannign the wedding just save a little harder incase it happens just remember to take a break ttc between 10 and 4 months before the wedding so you waont have problems with your dress
My cousin has just got married 22 weeks with twins was a nightmare with the dress fittings as she needed them so often as she was growing!!!

Sarah

 

[Sph7nx]

If it was me, i would carry on TTC, you don't know how quick or not it will happen, i would get married when i could afford it, whether that was before or after the baby - you and your OH are obviously committed to each other so waiting a year or two to get married wouldnt really matter

XxX

 

[elmaxie]

Hi,

I would continue ttc and stop as someone said 10 months before unless you dont mind putting the dress hunt off and potentially getting married with bump etc... we decided to start ttc this month(3months before) but for no other reason than OH felt ready to start.

I am due to get married in September after getting engaged last September but we decided in October to go for it and have only been saving since last November. We worked out what we could comfortably afford to save and put some of that aside to save for the wedding and came up with our budget of £6k...I was lucky my dad is buying my dress but we are having quite alot of people atending but have just sought out cheaper options for thingsand I made invites, place settings myself. Now its only 3 months away my mum has decided to give us money as well as OH parentsso we now can keep alot of our saving too!

I guess after waffling on if you have a seperate wedding budget and know how much you will have saved by wedding day then you could go about organising your wedding, plus have a seperate savings for future and baby??

Sorry this turned into a long post..



Emma.xx

 

[MissMonty]

I wouldn't put off TTC - for some reason (holidays) we decided to start TTC in Sep 07 but nothing is happening for us and we wish we had started TTC sooner. If you have children before you get married just imagine how wonderful it would be for your children to be involved with the wedding. Not sure if I would put up the deposit for the wedding venue - 2010 is a long way off and you might find a nicer venue/destination for your wedding. We booked and planned our wedding 4 months before getting married - got married abroad, believe it or not is was so much cheaper than a wedding in the UK! Good luck with what ever you decide to do x

 

[Porun]

I would TTC. I was married almost a year ago and at that time our son was 10 months old. I have never even given it at thought that it would be a problem to have both a baby and a wedding.

Anyway. Only you can decide what to do. Good luck - whatever you choose.

 

[Mynxie]

huni, if you ere lucky and got pregnant fast, you'd find a way to afford it

 

[funkym]

Thank you all for the replies We had a look at the veneu today at the Marriot Hotel and it was lovely!! We are going to book it next week, we have decided if I fell pregnant beforehand then we would manage one way or another. Having a baby would mean so much to us (after all the hearthbreak of losing 2) but i think i cant put life on hold as i may not ever hold my own precious little one The hotel is booked up the week before and week after the day we want to get married and i would kick myself if we didnt book it and i didnt fall pregnant in the 2 years. We are going to save for the "baby fund" as well as the wedding just incase, at least we will have a back up

 

[porkpie1981]

good luck

 

[orange-sox]

Oooo good luck hun! Like everyone's said, there's never a right or wrong time, so go forth and make happy babies! And have a fabulous wedding also!!

Take whatever people say you can and can't afford with a pince of salt, we all find ways to get by with lifes little surprises!

 

[Porun]

Congratulations on the decition. I'm sure you will manage just fine no mater what the future brings (Hopefully a baby for you very soon )

 

[Chris77]

I don't think I could wait 2 years! My decision would depend on how old I was. If I were in your 20's I'd say wait for the wedding because you have PLENTY of time!! (You still have a lot of time even at 30 but at 30, I'm starting to feel like an old dried up hen!) But if a baby/family is more important to you than a big fancy wedding, I say go for the baby now!

Good Luck with whatever you decide!

 

[funkym]

Hi girls!

Just thought i'd give you an update - i got my on Monday! I have been doing ept everyday since Mon, i did a Clearblue one last night and still I am not even going to try and get excited as i have some brown spotting Some of you may know that i had a missed m/c in Nov and a m/c in Jan. I go to Canada in 4 weeks so i'm feeling worried and upset. Also, the wedding is booked! So much going on, i dont feel like i'm coping Sorry for thr rant

 

[Chris77]

Ugh...really hard decision! I would probably go for it now. Regarding not having enough money for a wedding and a baby - things always work out and I'm sure you have family and friends who would be willing to help out. IF it came down to it, you can always do a more low key wedding that might not cost as much.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

 

[LeaArr]

Congratulations on your .

I just want to say, and I know it's easier said than done, don't worry about it too much. Worry causes stress that isn't good for your LO.

Wedding planning is stressful, but it's going to be wonderful. Enjoy this time. There are very few moments in your life that are about you, this is one of them. Things have a way of working out as they are meant to.

I wish nothing but the best for you and wish you a happy and healthy 9 months. Good luck with your planning, and I'm sure your day will be wonderful!!

 

[Chris77]

Oops didn't read further

CONGRATULATIONS on your That's awesome!

I know things seem pretty overwhelming right now but everything will work itself out.