Advice on talking to husband about TTC (and not building up resentment!)

[JoMarch]

Hello! I am new here, and frankly, new to all forums on the "inter-webs". I joined because I really need to talk about this with people. I'd really appreciate any advice or words of wisdom from you ladies.

I classify my husband and I as NTNP, but the truth is that I am TTC. Husband, not so much. He wants a baby to "happen when it happens". He doesn't want to "be put on a schedule" or "told when to have sex". I get that this does seem unsexy, but it has been 6 months and I have been tracking my cycle. I know when the time is right, but so as not to pressure Husband, I have to slyly initiate sex without suggesting it has anything to do with baby-making. Husband always seems to not be in the mood at the most important times, and I am left, every month, feeling disappointed and frustrated, because, you know, it won't "happen at all" if we don't have sex when I'm ovulating. I've tried to gently explain this, but he kind of just shuts down.

The result is that I have some building resentment that I can't really talk to him about. I have tried to put it out of my head and just go with the flow, but I can't. It's my body after all, so I am very aware of when I'm ovulating, etc. I feel alone in this thing.

So, should I talk to him? Keep it to myself and try to change my perspective? What has worked for you? Help!

 

[Kalia101]

I wouldn't keep it to my self and I know it's hard to talk about TTC with OH before we started TTC when ever I mentioned baby's he would roll eyes at me now were TTC his abit more open but still I find it hard to talk to him about some things about it,

Maybe he wants to be a dad but is scared? Maybe you could try not making a big deal of sex the rest of the month and then when ur ovulating don't tell him your ovulating just initiate sex with him like initiate where he can't say no like stand in front of him with some new sexy under wear this is exactly what il be doing next month

But I also think it may be a good idea to have a good chat or so he can't moan write down in a letter with all your feelings and why it means do much to you.

Good luck xxx

 

[fairyy]

JoMarch: Hello. U know whatever u have written is my story. We are NTNP for baby # 1 since January. I know when I ovulate. So it feels bad when we don't BD on those days. Its been six months now but he is not yet ready to TTC. I tried to initiate sex. Sometimes I get him into it and sometime I had to sleep with disappointment. Once in Feb I did opk testing and on valentine's day I got +opk. I cooked a nice dinner for him, baked a cake. Evening was fine but later when went to bed and I started to initiate sex then he was not in the mood. Then I told him that I was going to ovulate. But that sentence didn't bother him at all to have sex. I was so excited to get that +opk on v-day but I ended up crying that whole night. Next day also he didn't BD.

This month again I used opk and got positive on cd14. We BD on cd13 but couldn't get him to BD on cd14. Seriously all these things break my heart. When I discuss about TTC to him he acts the same way. Either he has work and works till late night from home or he sits in front of laptop or TV and when we move to bed we are damn tired. I tried to explain everything to him but he is still the same.