Advice please- hen weekend at 20 weeks

[fafa girl]

Apologies if this is too long! I don't mind if you don't get all the way to the end!

I am a bridesmaid for my best friend and myself and two others ( I am not the chief bridesmaid so she has done a bit more of the organising) have planned a surprise weekend away for 8 of us.

We are staying in apartments about 4 hours from where we live Friday to Sunday. The Friday we will arrive, have some take away and play all the usual hen type games... Bit of a slumber party type idea and we are planning on not drinking much because...

The Saturday is a full day 8am-6pm in Alton towers. Followed by drinks and a nightclub. As we all know Alton towers Is one of the worst places a pregnant person can go since we literally can't go
On anything. It will be a Saturday in mid season so I will be walking around all day then waiting myself while they will prob queue for a least an hour per ride, meet up with them for 5 minutes while we walk to the next ride then do the same.

By this point I will be 20 weeks and already at 17 weeks my lower back gets sore if I'm on the move too long. Other than that I'm totally fine and I reeeeeeaaaallllyyyy don't want to be a moany pregnant lady! I understand this weekend is not about me at all but actually that's part of the reason why id like to to down for the Friday then come home on the Saturday and let the fit ones party on!

I'm so unsure what to do and I really wanted to get the opinions of those who are in the same boat as me... No one going on the hen weekend has ever been pregnant so I don't think they really understand. I tried to subtly mention my concern to the chief bridesmaid ego brushed it off and basically said 'you'll be fine'

Maybe I will be fine and should just suck It up... But 8 hours walking all day and then standing myself most of the day is a pretty depressing thought!

Help! What would you do?

 

[Mummy to be x]

Personally If it was me I'd just go for the first night for the slumber party, I've been to Alton towers loads of times and the amount of time you can wait to get on a ride can be ridiculous, especially in nice sunny weather! I know how you feel with being achey after walking a long while it happens to me too, I'm sure your friends would understand?

Speak to them and see what they say but I think it is totally understandable if you didn't go

 

[Gingerspice]

What's happening after alton towers? Is it straight out clubbing? If so then I would probably just do first night. If there's the some downtime / meal together then I'd maybe apologise for not doing alto, do my own thing then meet up for meal. If they're back to apartment for a bit then. I'd mm a be volunteer to decorate apartment while they're gone and sort food so everything sorted when they get back.

If that's not happening tho then I think I'd just apologise, and may own way home and leave them to it

 

[EmzyJA]

Why don't you do something else on the day they all go to Alton towers? You won't be able to go on anything anyways so not worth paying to get in just to walk from ride to ride with them. Maybe have a chill out day and some lunch and meet them later when they're done? Maybe you can go and get pampered or something? That way you can stay for the weekend, you just won't be having to walk around with them all day. I know I wouldn't want to go whilst pregnant, wouldn't be much fun watching them all having fun without you

 

[pinkcatgirl]

I'd definitely avoid Alton Towers. Going for the Friday night sounds great, even if the hen gets a bit sniffy aboutnyou missing sat, she'll understands if she ever is pregnant.

 

[MollyNorwood]

I agree with the others- Maybe do the Friday night slumber party bit and don't go with them to the theme park. You could meet up with them later that evening at the club and socialize with them there, where they could fill you in on who vomited on the rides etc so you still feel included? lol. Seriously, YES this weekend is not about you BUT they cannot ignore the fact you are pregnant nor can they hold it against you.

 

[fafa girl]

Thank you all for your replies. I'm so glad no one has said I'm
A bad friend for thinking of not staying the whole weekend or going to alton towers... It's what I'm really worried about.

I've asked to meet up with the other bridesmaids next week so I'm gonna tell them that ill just be there for the Friday night into Saturday.

 

[Anniebobs]

Hi, I'm 20 weeks and I just got back from a hen do so hopefully will be of some help! We had a long day with a 2 hour limo ride, champagne afternoon tea (couldn't drink or eat much - posh sarnies are not preggo friendly!), hair and make up with lots of champagne, Japanese, karaoke then a private booth in a nightclub. Not what I'd normally be doing, sure, but I was glad I went. The games the chief bridesmaid had arranged were great and even though the forfeit was shots (none for me, obviously!) they were still a lot of fun. The hen had a great time and I wouldn't have missed it for anything. The only time I felt a little guilty was leaving the nightclub early but luckily there was a newish mama there too who needed to go back to the hotel to express so I wasn't the only party pooper!

The day after this I was really shattered, felt awful from all the sparkling water I'd drank and bad food I'd eaten and lack of sleep. I was really glad it only lasted a day. We did some more games at breakfast (without shots this time though!) then after some shopping it was back in the limo to go home (not the comfiest of things to get in or out of with a massive bump!)

I'd suggest you try and work out something else to do during the second day and arrange a time to meet them after, you'll probably need a sleep after the first night anyway (if it's anything like hen dos I've been on in the past everyone will say they're not planning on getting drunk the first night but then do it anyway!) I don't think the hen will argue with that. Then if they're going for a meal or something after you won't miss out and you won't have tired yourself out walking pointlessly around all day. I can't imagine any ride will let you on while pregnant, there's even signs up in our swimming baths not to let us down the slide there!