Advice/support needed please

[Bec L]

Hi
I gave birth to our beautiful daughter Poppy last Monday at 34 weeks (+2). She is currently in Special Care at the local hospital but I was sent home after 2 days so I am spending all day/eve at the hospital so I can be with her.

I haven't read through all your stories yet (and literally have 5 mins before I leave for the hospital but I will be back later!) but I wondered if many others of you have had to be apart from your babies whilst they are in special care, and how you have coped?

My husband and I have tremendous suport from our families but I am finding it so frustrating when I am in the hospital, as different staff seem to have different ideas on how we should be managing Poppy's care ie some say get her out (of the incubator) for regular cuddles, others say that will tire her out/make her temp drop. I am trying to breast feed her as otfen as possible but sometimes they make me feel like I am doing the wrong thing as it tires her out easily (even though she has got the hang of it already and has a good sucking reflex). Sometimes she is crying for food and yet I daren't get her out to feed her as it is not her regulated feeding time, yet if I was at home with her she would demand feed and I would let her.

Guess I just wanted to see if any others mum's out there are going through the same thing. It's just so hard to not be with her.

I hope all your babies are doing well, would love to hear from any of you
xxx

 

[Sarah+Ellen]

Congratulations on the arrival of Poppy.

Ellen was a very early baby and i had to leave her in the hospital while i went home. It took us over an hour and a half to get in to see her each day and like you i spent all day every day there. The bst bit of advice for that would be try to take some time out, not easy i know but if she is doing well, go for a meal, or a walk or go home early and have a bit of a pamper like a long bath etc.
As you have a confusing care systm speak to the head nurse (or a nurse you feel you can approach) and ask for a set of cares to be written into her notes and handed over so you know what you can do. It is true that excessive handling can tire them but a cuddle and a feed once3 a day should be ok by this age.
My friend is the BLISS parent rep for manchester, would you like me to give you her email?
Good luck and if you want any more help just let me know.

 

[Hevz]

Congratulations on the birth of Poppy


I hope she gains lots of strength from your special Mummy milk, sounds like she's doing well feeding. My daughter Lauren was 35wks and well enough to come onto the main maternity ward with me luckily. I got lots of grief from a certain midwife who was trying to "force" me to give he a bottle of formula because she was so sleepy (she was being treated for jandice too, jandice makes them sleepy). I could get my nipple in her mouth but she didn't seem to be sucking. Luckily after about 24hours or so she saterted to feed a bit better but this one midwife always tried to get me to "top her up" whenever she came on duty but the other midwives said Lauren was doing fine and to persist with breastfeeding her as that was how I wanted to feed her. I'm so glad I had the strength to say "no" to the bullying midwife.


Sometimes the health professionals do give conflicting advice....which makes things hard for us. you really should trust your instincts babe, I think you should be feeding her on demand too as it will help her to gain weight and help establish a good milk supply. I'm a trained "Breastmate" and know what I'm talking about....this is your baby and you decide if she needs more food....not anyone else. We, as breastmates often have to help mum's when the come out of hospital as they've received poor or even incorrect feeding advice from the "health professionals". It's in your babies best interest sweetie and I think you may need to be confident and state this to the staff helping to look after Poppy.

I wish you, your hubby and Poppy lots of luck, I hope she'll be strong enough to come home real soon

 

[Samantha]

hiya,
Many congratulations. Although it may be a very traumatic time right now it is still a time to celebrate the birth of your daughter.

Our daughter Charlotte was born at 24+5 July 2007 and was in hospital for 4 months. It is so difficult to leave your little ones but remember the nurses are very experienced and will look after Poppy just fine. I totally agree with Sarah+Ellen. Try to have a little "me" time and have a rest, even if for one afternoon, or one evening. Once Poppy is home then you won't get any time at all.

Poppy will be home before you know it.

Good Luck and best wishes,
Samantha

 

[Bec L]

Thanks very much for your replies. I am glad that you all have positive stories to tell.

I had a good chat with one of the senior staff on Special Care today and we established the 'do's and don't's' of Poppy's care so I feel a bit better after that, plus Poppy came out of her incubator and into a cot today so that feels like a step forward.

They are encouraging me to breastfeed her but I have to be a bit more patient and only get her out for a feed when she is wide awake - if she is sleeping it has to be through a tube which is understandable.

My husband isn't taking leave until we get Poppy home but my mum has been spending some of the days with me and encourages me to leave the hospital occasionally between Poppy's feeding times, just to get out for some fresh air etc.

Sarah+Ellen - would be great if you could pass my email to you friend. I will PM you with it now.

Thanks again girls, I will keep you posted on Poppy's progress
xxx

 

[VanWest]

Bec L, I was the same way. I spent 8-10 hours a day at my baby's bedside. I was so scared to leave. I thought if I did something would happen. My Mom did the same thing and would make me go out in between feeds. The fact that your little girl is in an open crib is so wonderful! That's a really big step to coming home You might want to take a day(I know it will be hard) to make sure you have things at home ready. Once she starts taking most of her feeds mouth, they probably will discharge her