Advice would be much appreciated x

[CountryBumkin]

Hello All.
Haven't been on B&B since my last pregnant really.
Just popping over to the 1st Tri for some advice ..
I have a gorgeous daughter she's 3,4 in September.
I'm also 8 weeks and a few days pregnant.
Having the worst time with MS from the minute I wake up to when I go to sleep
Basically the reason for my thread is that my partner doesn't want this baby ..
He made me make an appointment At the clinic and I reluctantly went a long to a consultation as he told me if I go ahead with this then he's leaving.
Obviously I don't want that to happen.
This is not my decision,I don't want to do it.
He's told me he will leave if I go ahead which means two little ones to bring up on my own with no help.
I know it will be hard,but I honestly don't want to and can't go through with this.
I was hospitalised at 6 weeks with dehydration and had an early scan.
Saw baby's heartbeat and it's been with me ever since ..
I really can't do this.
I know he will leave and I love him so much and Ofcourse don't want that to happen but I don't want to go through with this either.
Please help,even if it's just a kind word.
I feel so alone right now
Xx

 

[eme]

I'm so sorry you're going through such a hard time. Something like that needs to be YOUR decision alone. My husbands' mother raised three children on her own. Never EVER make such a permanent decision, especially one that goes against what your heart is so clearly feeling, just for someone else or to keep them around. What if he ends up leaving you anyways?!?! Then what did you do it for??

NO man is worth ending your baby's life for, that's just my opinion.

Just to give you a heads up, the moderators will probably close this thread pretty quickly because discussions about abortions aren't allowed in these forums due to how sensitive of a subject it is.

 

[CountryBumkin]

Thank you very much for the heads up and for the speedy reply.
It's nice to have some input off other people.
What you've said is exactly right I know,just wish I was strong enough to say it x

 

[eme]

Being strong enough doesn't always look like a super hero standing on a cliff side with wind whipping your cape.

Sometimes, its you on the floor, crying in a fetal position and having the courage to say , "no and goodbye".

You can do this hun, any man that would make you decide between him and the child within you is not a man that you need to keep around. I know it's so much more complicated, especially if you live together, etc. Reach out to family and friends to help get you through this time.

If you don't have those, look for local support groups or programs for women. Hun do it for you and your two babies. In the end, you'll be stronger, wiser, and happier for it!

 

[eme]

I wanted to reply quickly before they shut it down =/ Hopefully you'll get some more feedback too before they do

 

[MrsC10]

Oh hun. Don't ever let ANYONE make you do something that you don't want to do. Especially something so life changing. If its something's you are so against, then you will only regret it and beat yourself up and think 'what if' for the rest of your life.
I agree with everything the pp has said to you.
No one should make you do something like this. What kind of guy is he for forcing you into something like this? To me, he sounds like someone you don't want to be around anyway. Do what YOU want and what's right for YOU and no one else.

Yes bringing up two children will be tough on your own, but lots of men and women do it. You're stronger than you think and your children will want for nothing xx

 

[CurlyRose]

It sounds like you will be better off without him tbh, what sort of person would even attempt to make you make that choice, certainly not somebody I would want in my, or my child's, life. Vile.

 

[ItsAWonder]

I agree with the other ladies here - this is your choice and your choice alone. Any man that will try to threaten you and influence your decision is not a man who will stick by you in the long run anyway. You will find other single moms and support groups who will help. Remember, you are strong even when you cry and even when you are scared and your kids will probably be better off with a single mom then with a father who has the wrong intentions. There are better men out there! Good luck with whatever decision you make.

 

[Willow01]

I agree with the others hun, this needs to be your choice, nobody has the right to make you choose like the way your partner is pressuring you to. He had a hand in making this baby too, and should have more respect for your decisions. I hope you find some comfort in the words we are sending you, stay strong, stick to what your heart says and I wish you the best of luckx

 

[AnnieMac2]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Don't let him control your life. He doesn't sound like someone who will be there for you in the future anyway. If you do what he says and then he leaves you anyway down the road during some other stressful situation, you'll have a lot of regrets. You can do this on your own. You don't want him to model any of this behavior to your children either. From now on, do what feels right to you deep down and you won't go wrong xoxo

 

[Hotbell312]

I agree with everyone else. This is your body, your growing the baby and it is your decision. Honestly not to be crude, but to me any man that denies his own child isn't worth it. There are plenty of single mothers out there that do great. My father passed away when I was young and my mother did 2 college educations on her own for us. You can do anything you set your mind to. This is your decision and no one should be forcing you to do anythjng.