After some advice...

[IsabellaJayne]

Is anyone pregnant and wanting to leave their partner? We have a DD and I'm 15 weeks pregnant. I don't want to be with him, we argue and he can be quite nasty towards me. I can to him also but this is in retaliation to him. It's all getting too much but I find it hard to cut the ties with having our DD

We don't live together (my choice as I couldn't cope living with him) but we spend time together as a family. He just makes me feel so unhappy, so much so that I did not want to be pregnant in the early stages of this pregnancy. Which has made me feel horrible and he constantly throws that in my face calling me a disgusting mother because I've said I don't want another child with him.

He's just so much worse when I'm pregnant. I need to find the strength to cut all ties with him. I don't work at the minute (just accepted a job and waiting to start) as I've been studying so I'm thinking the money from working should give me the push to stand on my own two feet

Is anyone else in the same situation or have been before?

 

[m nonie]

Hi I'm really hoping someone can give you some advice Hun, I just wanted to say good luck with what every happens next.

 

[2have4kids]

I can only give you kuddos for not living with him if he makes you so unhappy. You need to follow your heart - who wants to spend time with a person that calls you a disgusting mother. You're a great mother, you just don't want to be contributing more to the unhappiness you've felt with him. Follow your heart, if you don't want to be around him then don't! Find a way to have LO spend time with him without you if you're comfortable with that. Good luck.

 

[orionfox]

Was he like this before you found out you were pregnant?

 

[StarAngel]

I didn't want to read and run. Its sounds like you are starting to cut ties with him by thinking ahead and wanting to support your family etc. You are not a disgusting mother and I cannot believe he would say that to you. You and your children deserve the best and more importantly being happy and if he cannot step up to the plate in this way then it would be wise to leave. I hope things look up for you soon and you get the support you need and deserve.

 

[IsabellaJayne]

Not so much no. We'd have the odd argument but when I'm pregnant it's just constant. Was with DD too but he assured me that he was just scared of the unexpected of having a baby. He's a fantastic Dad. Can't fault him with that but what's his excuse second time around? He knows what to expect now. He's happy that we're having a sibling for DD. don't know what his problem is tbh. I've just had enough

 

[LittleBaby311]

Not so much no. We'd have the odd argument but when I'm pregnant it's just constant. Was with DD too but he assured me that he was just scared of the unexpected of having a baby. He's a fantastic Dad. Can't fault him with that but what's his excuse second time around? He knows what to expect now. He's happy that we're having a sibling for DD. don't know what his problem is tbh. I've just had enough

I just wanted to throw in that maybe it's the fear of having two? I know I'm scared of having two! Also the fear of what if you feel differently about one or what if the eldest gets jealous. The splitting time to have for both and yourself. Maybe you should try talking to him about why he might be acting differently and express your concerns and fears of how he acting. I hope you can work it out and figure out what's best for you and your two LOs.

 

[NatalieGrace]

Maybe this is an old fashioned way of thinking, but I would make sure I did EVERYTHING I could to make a relationship work for my kids before I walked away. He sounds like he's just not very good at managing his anxiety and stress that comes from the prospect of having another child. I do NOT think you deserve to be treated poorly at all, and it's definitely something that needs to be addressed and hopefully resolved. I know sometimes it can feel like it's too hard and the only option is to walk away, but you do owe it to your children to make sure that you tried to resolve your differences. Of course that requires him to try as well, you can't do it alone. I wish you the best of luck and if you do end up needing to leave don't beat yourself up about it. We all have to make the best decisions for ourselves and our babies.