Age, fertility and TTC

[Lullababy]

How old were you or how old will you be (ish) when you have your first child? I'm 28 this year and starting to get really hung up about the effects of age on fertility - if I think about it too much I actually start to feel panicky.

When we first discussed having children, my OH wanted to have had at least one by the time we were 30, if not 2. His argument was that he wanted to have as many years as posible with his children, which I agree with totally. Being very traditional, the plan was to:

1. Buy a house
2. Get engaged
3. Get married
4. Start a family

And then life got in the way. He was made redundant last year and is retraining in a different career at the moment while working part-time, so we don't really have the money to do any of the above right now or anytime soon. In fact, I hate to think how old I'll be when I finally get round to #4 if we do stick to the plan. It feels like that episode of Friends when Rachel turns 30 and realises her life plan is going pretty much the same way. It's so frustrating knowing what you want but having to put it on hold.

So, anyway I just wanted to know how old everyone else was / will be when TTC baby #1, whether there were/are any fertility issues, and if you had similar worries, how you overcame these.

Thanks, Lulls

 

[lozzy21]

I have no idea how old we will be when we TTC. I just hope we will be this side of 30.

 

[Hobnob]

Hey,

I had this worry too. I'm 33 and a half and I was so worried that because my age was creeping towards the mid thirties that I'd be too old or have problems conceiving too.

I was so wrong! We conceived the 1st month we tried!

 

[Whoppy-pop]

I was 27 when I fell pg, and 28 when I gave birth. Amelia was a happy accident and we had only been engaged for 3 months and were renting a house together. My OH is 2 and a half years younger than me and to be painfully honest we thought my BFP was pretty badly timed, even though we were happy. However it turned out to be the 1st piece of the jigsaw that fell into place.

My inheritance came through just after my BFP and that allowed us to go and buy our own house. I managed walk back into a far less stressful job in my company for the same salary as my mega stressful one. I'd just bought a nice family car. My OH got a huge promotion, and basically life became fantastic! So really we wouldn't have been able to plan our little accident for any better time!

I suppose what I'm trying to say is that if you try to wait for the perfect time to have a baby you'll be waiting forever as you can always find a reason not to go ahead. But equally it's a good idea to at least be financially stable.

 

[snowqueen]

I was 34 when I got pregnant the first time. We only had unprotected sex 2 times in one month so it was a surprise to find out I was pregnant. We did say if it happens, it happens, but I didn't think it would happen that fast, holy crap! So, indeed it was a shock for me. We were also looking for a house for years, so we put a step on it and ended up buying a house three months before I was due.

 

[angie79]

i'm 30 and got pg the same as someone above after just twice in one month but that was not meant to be - when we ttc again i will be 31.
I was really worried before i got pg about fertility issues due to my age and my oh's low sex drive and count but now i will not be worrying about it in 9 months when we ttc again.
The only reason we are waiting a bit now is so we can save some money and move before we try again

xx

 

[Blah11]

I was 21 when I had my first baby. I hope to be 23 for my next and be finished having children and my family to be complete by the time I'm 30.
Me and OH bought our first house together when Amelie was 5 months old, and we're not engaged yet but getting married is on the cards in the distant future lol. we've done everything back to front as to how I imagined it to be but it's perfect for us
I dunno, I agree if you try and wait until everything is perfect you'll be waiting forever. Unless you're on 75,000 a year i don't think anyone is financially ready

 

[welshwarriors]

I was 24 when we start TTC for our 1st child...I'm traditional too...I wanted to finish college, get married and get our Marriage Quarter (hubby is in the army) sorted before we start trying. We had that all sorted in July 08...I found out I was pregnant in Nov 08. lol

 

[Raspberrybean]

I'm 30 to and WTT (TTC from April), my OH is 30 too. I am worried that i may have fertility problems although i'm trying not to think about it too much else it'll get me stressed. I always imagined that i'd be married before starting a family but we have our own house and have been living together for 6 years.

 

[plutosblue]

I will be 22 this year when trying for our first but 23 by the time I have LO. (If all goes to plan and there are no problems.)

 

[Deeper Blue]

I was 26 when I got pregnant after 6 months of trying pretty hard. I was very worried about fertility then and now while I'm WTT for number 2 because the women in my family tend to go through the menopause really early (30-35)

I agree with the others though. In reality, there really is no perfect time.

xxx

 

[geordiemoo]

I'm 28 and feeling a pretty similar way to you. DH and I have been together just short of 10 years and apart from a brief spell at the beginning of our relationship we haven't used protection as such just getting off at the stop before iykwim. For about the past year we haven't been not trying but not being careful either. We both are really concerned about fertility as we have not been careful for a very long time so either we have been very lucky or there may be something wrong. We are both worried it could be linked to weight (we are both overweight) so are trying to lose weight seriously for the next 6 months then start trying seriously.

We are married and are buying our house but we would have been thrilled if I was pg at any point in our relationship beyond university. I know it can seem very important to go through those milestones but if you want a family you don't have to be married or own a home. It has just worked out that everything has gone in this order for us.

 

[Vicki_Cream]

We are planning to start TTC in August 2011 (wow that's coming round quick lol), at the moment we are NTNP so if it happens it happens, if not, we have a date set to start trying. TBH if I had my way, we would be be trying now, but OH wants to do get his career sorted, pass his driving test, buy a house, go on at least one holiday together lol etc. We have a year and a half, and I can't wait!

 

[tasha41]

I was 19 when I had my 1st.

My "plan" was to go to college, then university, get married by 25 and have baby #1 around 27.

Life had other plans. I wish life had waited a couple years for me to finish my education, because that is the #1 thing that would improve our lives right now, I could get a better job, be able to support myself better etc

 

[hannahR]

I was 21 when i had Hollie and she wasnt planned. Me and OH had been together two years and we were living in rented accomodation. We bought our first house just before Hollie was born and we got married last year in July when Hollie was three. I was 24. we then started ttc straight away and we fell preg four months later! baby is due in June and i am now 25. Wasnt how i 'planned' it all in my head, but i have since learnt that you can only plan so much and sometimes you have to go with the flow and just see what happens. xx

 

[silverbell]

I will be 29 when we TTC later this year for our first LO.

I've been worried about my age and also by the fact that OH and I want 3 children ideally. We better get our skates on!

I think it's far more scary if you've never been pregnant before, as you worry that you won't be able to conceive and this makes you panic a bit.

My OH didn't understand why I always wanted a baby before I was 30. Men just don't understand the fertility side of things at all.

However, my fantasty of getting married, getting a house and starting a family before 30 has dissolved and I'm not even that bothered about it. I think we set ourselves these self-imposed deadlines and ideals that just don't happen in everyday life. Life doesn't always work out the way we planned it.

We are now married, but there's no way we'll be able to afford a house deposit for a good few years yet and we're not putting our TTC on hold for that, so we'll be renting for the foreseeable future and saving for a house in the meantime. The only reason we're waiting until TTC is due partly to OH's debts and partly because I'm going on holiday next February with my OH and all my family to celebrate my 30th.

 

[AmeliePoulain]

We'll both be 24 when we start TTC #1 in June. Ideally I always wanted to have a baby by the time I was 25 - hopefully *fingers crossed* we will have our baby whilst we are both 25

I always wanted to be married and own our own house before we had children. We managed to do the whole getting married thing last April but (and mainly because of the wedding) we arn't going to be able to buy our own place. So renting it is, because I am not goign to let myself go loopy whilst banks realise that it is quite difficult for 2 people on normal salaries with rent to pay will take quite a while to save up a 15% deposit (or more...)

 

[EstelSeren]

I'll be 21 when I start ntnp in April. I'll be pretty much finished with uni, married and in my own place, albeit rented. Our financial situation is far from perfect but we'll be able to live OK so we've decided to just go for it as I don't think we'll ever be in a 'perfect'/'ideal' financial situation and we don't want to wait around for ever!!

Beca :wave:

 

[livestrong]

Me and my DF still have to finish uni (2013) and get married (next year) and get jobs, save some money, get a place of our own etc etc etc so we'll probably be about 25 before we can think about having a baby

 

[needausername]

I'm 27 this month and still single. Not ready for a relationship yet so I know I am definitely going to be over 30 when it comes to TTC time. Its a very scarey thought especially since I don't know will I ever meet someone and when I do I'm petrified it will be too late.

I think that is the reason why I am so broody now because I can hear that damn clock ticking so loudly!

Oh well! Just need to have fun while I am waiting and do what I need to do so that I am ready when the time comes.