Age of your adopted child

[Loski83]

I was just wondering with all the changes coming up in the adoption system what age child are you wanting or have got. Not many in adoption area but hopefully will get some responses.

 

[Loski83]

Forgot to say we are hoping for under 2 or as young as possible.

 

[mbm25]

Hi, I'm 21 now but my parents adopted me when I was 4. It took them 3 years, and I'm not sure how long it was till the adoption was legalised but, I moved home at 4 years old. They did orginally want to go through surrogacy as they're gay, but felt it was unfair and went through adoption. And well, here I am!

 

[Loski83]

That's lovely, think the process should be quicker now with all the changes but that might just be wishful thinking x

 

[CurlySue]

My little girl is 16 months. Her brother (who is still up in the air at the moment and we're totally unsure if we're going to proceed with him) is three months.

 

[Loski83]

Hi curly sue I bet your little girl is adorable, that is the same age we hoping to get as well.

 

[CurlySue]

Have you been linked, Loksi? It's so lovely to hear a foster carer talk about a discussion with her family in which she said "Oh, I've met her new mummy and daddy."

 

[Loski83]

No we haven't been approved yet we at panel 14th June, our sw loves us though and says he doesn't think we will be waiting very long once approved I hope he's right.

 

[CurlySue]

Hopefully you will not be waiting too long. You'll start getting an inkling by the questions they're asking if they've got a child in mind for you. I know we did. Then again, our social worker is pretty blatant to be fair.

We're still kind of struggling with our little one's brother. The thought of a boy and girl is just wonderful and, as he's only three months old, that's even better - but we've been told it could be VERY quick and I don't think it's fair on her to disrupt her settling in and attachment by bringing in a younger, needier child.

I've seen him now though and it kills me to turn him down Big decisions come June, I do believe.

Good luck and PM if you feel like chatting.

 

[Loski83]

Sw has already told us he has a few children in mind for us and has said he thinks it will go very quick. It might unsettle her now, however if you can deal with it just think when she's older how grateful they would be to be together must be hard for you though and I'm sure whatever decision you come to you will do what you think is the best for your daughter.

 

[puppymom32]

Loski
Our adoption was private through a relative and in the US we got our son we he was 5 weeks old and just finalized everything last month. He will be 17 months on May 9th.

Congrts CurlySue I remember you from LTTC. So happy for you. We have a very similar issue we are dealing with my son is 16 mo old and his BM is pregnant again and wants to put this baby up for adoption she is 7 mo along. I would loveto have a blood sibiling for my son but not sure if right now is the right time. She has also had drug use with this baby so we are concerned for the health issues this child may have. Still lots of decisions and not a whole lot of time to think it all over.

Best of luck to you Loski hope your little one is with you soon.

 

[CurlySue]

Congrats again, Puppy. I don't remember a whole lot of people from on here, to be honest. I've kind of got this mental block. Most of the people on LTTC are complete strangers to me because the majority have gone on to have two, three kids in the time I've taken to have none.

You were lucky to get your son so young. I'd love that. Here, it takes six months to get a child's paperwork in order so the very youngest you'll bet a baby is almost a year old. If we end up with the little girl's brother he'll likely be eight, nine, ten months old, maybe, by the time everything is finalised.

We'll cross the bridge when we get to it I guess. Have to get things sorted with her first. She's exactly the same age as your son, it seems, born December 2010.

 

[puppymom32]

Thanks hun I am fascinated at how different the process is between the UK and the US. Yes my son was born on Dec 9th 2010. They are at such a fun age/stage in life.

 

[Milty]

We are actually hoping for a 3or 4 year old

Since our son is eight it will lesson the age gap

 

[Loski83]

That sounds like a good age gap, my stepsons are 16 and 12 so we pretty much hoping to start from the beginning again hoping for under 2 and I can't wait unfortunately we don't have a choice lol.

 

[shaslove]

Lina was 4 1/2 when placed, & 6 1/2 when we adopted

 

[amjon]

We are thinking of adopting from the foster care system. I talked to a friend of ours that has adopted two children that way. She got them both as infants, but took YEARS to adopt them. She fostered them until the adoption, so they all had continuity and I think that's important. It also doesn't cost anything, so that was a relief (and if they have medical issues they stay on the state medical insurance even after adoption).