Agh male colleagues opinions on formula - rant

[Lysal]

I am a teacher and in our staff room someone had left a magazine on a table open to a page advertising follow on milk. My colleague, who has no children, then started saying that formula is a huge con and it doesn't even contain any of the things baby needs and they even say in their adverts it's no good for babies. Saying that women should basically have to breast feed.

I tried to point out the advert he was looking at states it was a follow on milk and was not reccomended for babies under 6 months not for all babies. That first formula has the nutrients babies need but not the mothers antibodies etc. I also tried to point out not all women can breast feed at which he basically scoffed and made out like it was just women being lazy.

I had great problems breast feeding and eventually had to give up because LO wasn't getting enough, I was in a lot of pain and I was getting very depressed. I had come to terms with my decision and know it was best for me and LO to switch to formula, but he has made me feel guilty all over again, as I also has others in there (none with children) looking at me like I was making up excuses for taking the easy way out.

Wow that turned out long. Rant over - just had to get it off my chest.

 

[x Michelle x]

awww hun, what a twat!

 

[Lollipopbop]

HAH, what an idiot!! He really has no idea, no one does unless they've been there. I used to think that BF'ing looked easy and didn't ever consider formula but we had so many problems and it was horrible and now I happily formula feed. I find it hilarious that he has such a strong opinion on something he will never know anything about, god forbid if the mother of his children couldn't BF!

 

[eulmh82]

You just ask him what he would do when he baby was born with a tongue tie and pure and simply refused to latch on properly despite many many people helping. He would not put his mouth around my nipple and the NHS let us down and took far too long with referral to get it sorted. Bloody men - well actually bloody anybody who doesn;lt accpet that it isn;t being lazy it just does not work for some people. I would have loved nothing more than to breast feed my son and am even more determined to make it work for the next one but it just did not happen. What about those women who lose 1 +litres of blood which affect their milk supply and their baby is just screaming and screaming because they are hungry. No idea. I want to slap him for you!

 

[vintage67]

Well, I've got two long stories I could tell him!

So sorry you had to deal with that!

It seems that loss of breastfeeding grief is never ending; just when you think you're over it, you get pulled right back in!

My husband has gotten overly sensitive to this sort of thing as well after having witnessed all I've gone through.

 

[vintage67]

HAH, what an idiot!! He really has no idea, no one does unless they've been there. I used to think that BF'ing looked easy and didn't ever consider formula but we had so many problems and it was horrible and now I happily formula feed. I find it hilarious that he has such a strong opinion on something he will never know anything about, god forbid if the mother of his children couldn't BF!

Sadly, I think with some people, they will never get it until it happens to them. And I wouldn't want to wish what I went through (twice) on anyone, but for the most unsympathetic and judgemental ones out there, that would probably be what it would take to come down to reality. Some people go through a lot of problems breastfeeding and they are able to work them out, but instead of having a little humilty and grace towards those that had problems that couldnt be worked out, they take the course of, "If I could do it so could you!" But no two situations are ever really alike.

 

[socitycourty]

wow what a jerkoff!

 

[dizz]

It's pointless even trying to tell people stuck in their viewpoints about why some women end up having to switch involuntarily. They're never going to listen, or they'll chalk your experience down to some kind of 0.00001% of "acceptable" scenarios and resume their ill-informed ranting.

I'm now on the "just nod and agree cos then they've got nothing to argue against and shut up" tactic... so they start ranting about lazy mothers, smile and say yep and they're stuck - the look of bewilderment and disappointment can be quite amusing since they're gearing up for some big holier than thou session!

 

[bumblebeexo]

It annoys me when people turn their nose up at formula feeding, but especially when it's men or people without children! So frustrating.

 

[Sarah27]

Breastfeeding is such a sensitive subject if you tried and weren't able to if you know what I mean... I tried this time and TBH I couldn't hack it.. I was soo upset but over time I have gotten used to the fact... But I still feel angry when I read something like this. Now I am sorry but what flipping opinion of his is it if you BF or not.... Some people are idiots! I would love to see a bloke go through flipping 9 months of been pg.. go through labour tare their bum hole and then let a teeny weeny little tight jaw clenched baby chew on their nipple probably one of the most sensitive areas of a ladies body for hours on end.......And how can u be lazy if you formula feed! Its more work, more faff and more to do a bloody pain in the bum if you are not organised!!! BF would always be the "easier" option until you try it and can't do it or have no support or just perhaps don't want to do it....

 

[HellBunny]

Tell him if he's that bothered, he should try and lactate, show him endless pages on kellymom or whatever about how men can lactate, see what he says to that

Honestly though, some men and women are idiotic when it comes to the subject, they assume everybody should breastfeed and if we don't we are this that or another, don't take it to heart, as long as baby is fed thats all that matters! xx

 

[Arisa]

interesting...my husband is pro formula and in his mind he cannot see many positives to BFFing so he is the opposite, he sees formula feeding as an easier option on his wife so he looks after me by doing the bulk of the feeds especially during the night and my boobs are not sore, full of stretchmarks, saggy, deflated or full of infection and mastitis sorry but i do not see anything wrong with FFeeding

 

[HellBunny]

Arisa my OH is the same, he fully supported me when breastfeeding but he was relieved in a way when i stopped as he liked to help me out, he loved the bond x

 

[bubbles123]

I would have asked him how many babies he had successfully BF'ed and how he would deal with tongue tie, sore bleeding nipples etc. That should have shut him up. Ignore. he is talking out of his bum.
Since my BF'ing struggles my once all babies must be BF'ed OH is now really defensive of me if anyone is sniffy about me FF'ing. He is like my knight in shining armour bless him and always jumps to me defence. He says he just never knew how hard BF'ing can be for some women and now is so much more understanding about why some people FF. Hopefully this guy will realise that one day to if he ever had kids of his own. X