Already dreading the night feeds

[Kirsty3051]

I'm currently pregnant with our first baby and he's due January 22nd. I like to worry ahead haha!

I'm just trying to figure out a realistic routine for our night feeds. All of the research I've done has pretty much said the same:

At least 1 feeding every 2 hours for the first 2 weeks even if it means waking up baby. After 2 weeks, we can increase the time between feeds up to 4 hours during the night.

I plan to breastfeed but know for a fact I won't have the energy to wake up every 2 hours to feed Lincoln throughout the night by myself. SO here's where you experienced breastfeeders come in!

For the first 2 weeks:
OH is more than willing to help out and has suggested using formula for 1, maybe 2 of the night time feeds meaning I won't have to get up to pump. We have spoke about pumping before we head off to bed but I don't know what to expect from my supply yet. If it is possible for me to pump and store breastmilk, is that a realistic solution so soon after giving birth? This is our first so we're lacking experience with this kind of thing. Will baby be able to alternate between breast and bottle? Should I just force myself to feed? We've considered co-sleeping too to make breastfeeding easier on me throughout the night. Waking up every 4 hours throughout the night seems more than doable for me once the first 2 weeks has passed.

Wow. Long post. I'm sure you all understand what I'm trying to get at so I'm going to be quiet now!

 

[FarmMom]

I don't think it is necessarily necessary to wake the baby up every two hours in the first two weeks unless there is a medical reason that the baby needs to eat, but i can tell you that my daughter ate more than every two hours at night in the first two weeks. You get very little sleep, but you get used to the sleep deprivation. My daughter almost never went more than 3 hours between feeds at night, and often went less in the first three months. Using formula for a feed in the first crucial weeks of breastfeeding is a slippery slope. Missing feeds will hinder your supply and you should really pump if you are skipping a feed, but that defeats the purpose of SO helping. Also, most experts don't recommend introducing a bottle for the first 4-6 weeks. I nursed constantly the first weeks; that's what builds a good supply. It's tiring and stressful, but only a short period of time. Oh, and i find pumping to be a major pain, feeding straight from the breast is so much quicker and easier.

We didn't bedshare but my daughter sleeps in a cosleeper next to me. It's super easy for me to just get her up and feed her. Lots of people bedshare, but i was too nervous for that at first. It is nice to nurse lying down.

My advice is to not have too many expectations about a schedule, because babies don't know the schedule. And if you are committed to breastfeeding, you should try very hard to do all the feeds for the first several weeks. Keep snacks and water by where you are nursing because you'll be hungry and thirsty. SO can help with that. Sleep whenever you can, but your sleep will often be broken most likely no matter what.

 

[cait]

Hi, congrats on your pregnancy.

A few things to start - there is no set routine with breastfed babies so please don't expect that your baby will follow a pattern like you laid out. Mine still wakes every two hours at 14 weeks, my daughter was totally different and was much more settled by this age.
I have never woken baby up for a feed, I figure if they are tired they will sleep if they are hungry they will wake.

It's not advised to pump before 4 weeks as baby is still establishing your supply. If you want to exclusively breastfed after those first 2 weeks then pumping or supplementing with formula could damage your supply and make that difficult for you.

In my experience getting up to feed from the breast is much easier and faster than using a bottle, whether breastmilk or formula. You don't have to heat up your boob, you don't have to sterilise bottles in advance, you don't even have to leave the room and wake yourself up even further. If baby is crying in the night and your husband gets up to feed, it's very likely you'll be awake the whole time anyway as your hormones will be tuned in to wake when baby is hungry.

I'm not one of those people who thinks you absolutely must breastfeed and nothing else will do, but I honestly believe it is easier just to do it yourself.

 

[armywife11]

We co-sleep and it works really well. Also both of my children went longer than two hours between night feeds. We never did the "wake baby up to eat" since both of my children were term and healthy we just let them dictate when they wanted to eat or sleep. Not everyone agrees with that though, it just made sense to us since if we woke them they didn't nurse they just fussed until they went back to sleep.

Breastfeeding is all about supply and demand so if you introduce formula (especially early on) you could potentially hurt your supply.

I always tell people to consider safe cosleeping for breastfeeding at night. It does make things easier and I always felt like I got plenty of sleep. I do wake up a few times at night but I would regardless since diaper changes and nurse sessions fall along the same time. I just don't have to sit up nursing.

 

[cait]

Your husband can help alleviate the burden at night by bringing you water, and also burping and settling baby after feeds. My OH had to lift baby and bring to me in bed after having c sections!

 

[minties]

It isn't the waking up to feed them that is the hardest part, it's the trying to get them to go back to sleep again that I found dreadful. I would imagine it would be the same no matter how you fed them.

Sometimes it took hours!

 

[Kirsty3051]

We weren't going to do the whole setting an alarm thing throughout the day, it's just the nights we were a little worried about. I guess we just wanted an idea at what to expect really. We read that waking baby early on is important to reduce any risk of dehydration. My mum has said that she never woke up any of her children and we all came home from hospital and put ourselves in to a routine of sleeping a full 8 hours at night. Fingers crossed Lincoln gets his sleeping pattern from his momma!

All your replies have been amazing!

 

[lisa1980]

I agree with minties.

After the initial bit the BF was pretty rapid (much quicker than feeding via a bottle or expressing - believe me, I tried!). It's the nappy changing, burping and resettling that takes the time.

Your OH can help with that, but in my experience, getting OH to feed DS overnight with expressed milk or formula was way more hassle than it was worth. There was NO WAY I could stay asleep once baby was awake (I'd wake if he so much as breathed differently) and watching OH faff around with heating a bottle whilst DS screamed was more than I could bear. So much quicker to just whip out a boob whilst lying down than to have to fully wake everyone with lights on, walking around etc. I got more sleep on the nights I just fed him than on those where OH tried to do it.

Co-sleeping definitely helped us a lot but I'd also warn that my newborn did not follow any schedule known to man and just when I thought we had a pattern, it would all change. Best just to try to roll with it IMO.

 

[lisa1980]

Oh and I never woke him for a feed. He never slept long enough for me to get the chance tbh!

 

[Kirsty3051]

I'm going to do my best to ebf. Everything else is on OH. Hope he takes a liking to pooey nappies at 3am because that's our new agreement

 

[Mrs HM]

I'm going to do my best to ebf. Everything else is on OH. Hope he takes a liking to pooey nappies at 3am because that's our new agreement

Honestly, I think that is the easiest thing to do. It means your OH can sleep on while you feed, and you get to go back to sleep while he changes and burps. That's what we do and we did with our first baby too, and it fels like you really are sharing the burden.

I found the first few weeks much tougher this time (second LO) around as baby #1 would go back to sleep after the 6am or 7am feed and I could lie on too. now that's not possible with a toddler who wakes and wants to play! You will get into a pattern fairly quickly, and even if you don't you get used to that so quickly too! I adjusted to sleeping in 3 hours blocks after about 3 days and would wake up before DS started to cry!

 

[minties]

They don't know they are 'meant' to sleep all night, so they just wake and let you know they are hungry the same as they do during the day.

Honestly...I can't imagine having to formula feed at night even if someone was helping me. I co-slept and it made it much easier

Whatever happens things change quickly with babies anyway. They go through so many different stages of feeding and sleeping. You'll be fine and do an amazing job!