Am i being completely ridiculous?

[toria_x]

This is going to be a rant so be warned!
When I had my little girl, I was 18, so obviously quite young and at the time I was very much in love with her dad. Things changed rapidly so to cut a VERY long story short, we split before she was born & have been going through hell with court and contact centre until a few months ago (not my doing I would like to point out) so I have already beaten myself up over giving my daughter an awful dad & have been judge (wrongly) plenty of times!
Luckily, that's all sorted and she sees her dad regularly.
When Laila-Rose was 6 months old, I met my current partner who is 'the bees knees' aha! We have been together for over 2 and a half years now and loves Laila-Rose as if she was his own and are on our second month of trying for baby #2.
Myself, my partner and my daughter live together in gateshead in our own house, neither of us work but that is simply because we have enough savings to live off and not need to work. My daughter goes to nursery 2 afternoons a week and adores it!
So that's our background, here comes the rant!!
My first pregnancy, although I actually adored all the physical stuff that goes with it, the emotional side was vile and I spent most of it in tears.
I raised a baby with severe colic on my own, moved into our own flat and lived there for 1 year before moving with my partner.
This time around, I feel like everything is perfect and We are SO SO excited to add to our family.
However it seems that other people just find it impossible to be as happy if at all. All I seem to get from certain people is snide remarks and an extremely jealous attitude.
I sit here wondering 'Why can I not just have this?'
Everybody wants the perfect pregnancy and to feel happy and excited. I never had that and this is my chance!
I may not have explained myself properly and may seem ridiculous but I needed to get it off my chest!
xxx​

 

[CKJ]

I think you explained yourself very articulately People like to interfere and, ultimately, it can be easy to judge. It's really hard BUT so long as YOU enjoy every ounce of this pregnancy, and this time of happiness, then you're sorted. People often like to wallow/share in misery rather than happiness but I genuinely think that's because they haven't accepted that to be truly happy is one's own responsibility, not anyone else's. Let people say what they want, smile and nod your head sagely, go home and be happy lol

 

[wwchix]

Good luck.

The only thing that worries me is that it sounds like you have never gotton over not having the 'perfect pregnancy' (which lets face it, no one has a PERFECT pregnancy) and it sounds like you want to experience that. Remember pregnancy is only a small amount of time compared to a lifetime of your child.

Also it is down to you how you live your life, but I can see why people would comment if neither of you work. Rent/mortgage payments aren't cheap and they will soon eat away at your savings. Why doesn't your OH go to work even part time so you can save your savings for when you really need them? Extra money is always helpful, especially when you have another addition.

xx

 

[toria_x]

I am very aware as I already have a beautiful 3 year old.
Nobody comments on us not working, my OH invests his money in buying properties and renting them or selling them on.
Also, we don't rent, nor do we have a mortage. Our house is mortage free.

 

[MrsAM]

Are the people being snide and jealous members of your family or OH's family? Or friends? Either way you don't have to tell them what is going on with you or that you are trying for a baby although guess its too late for that! The perfect answer to that is once you are finally pregnant only see such people when you really have to.

I know what it is like to have to listen to unwanted comments from close family etc not in the same context as you but the other CJK is right nod your head, in one ear out the other. In fact you should take it that are very blessed and lucky if people can't seem to control themselves by saying such things rather than at least being polite with you. I guesd its better in a way you know their true colours.

 

[toria_x]

It's a few of my family & friends which to be honest I should probably expect it from! I only told my mum but it obviously got round very quickly, I'm very excited to be having another of course, shame others can't feel the same, but like you said, I'll have to toughen up to it, it's most likely because I'm a sensitive person that it gets to me so much. x

 

[MrsAM]

Ha I feel like I just wrote that post above! I also just told a few people and soon it was hot gossip but as I have fertility issues I have to deal with the extra 'concern' and I can tell fake sympathy some people are expert at it! I am also extremely sensitive to the point where I get annoyed with myself like why do I even care what people think even close family members but thank God my DH is there to help me and tell me to get a grip Sometimes you just need someone who really lives you to remind you the whole world is not a festering boil of mean and nastiness. Sounds like you have a lovely OH too.

That is probably why you are getting the snide remarks from people you consider family who should be happy for you. They don't look at your life struggles, they just see the good stuff like the nice OH, the happy home, the need to not work (tbh I think the majority of us would love that!) and that's enough to wipe any good feelings theyprobably do have.

Anyway lots of baby dust to you and chin up!

 

[toria_x]

Thank you, I definitely needed that support! Shows I'm not completely insane! I am extremely lucky. Yes I'm the same, I get very frustrated for getting annoyed lol vicious circle!x