Am I being crazy?

[myangel167]

my husband and I were randomly having a talk about what it will be like when we have our 1st baby and all that good stuff when the subject of who will be in the delivery room came about. I said I only wanted him and I, and that I didn't want any visitors (no friends or family) until several hours afterwards so we can have our alone time with the baby, and I can freshen up, rest, etc. I was telling him that if its at a decent hour, that we can tell our family that I'm in labor but ask them not to come until we give the okay. (& if it was say...in the middle of the night, that we would just tell them in the morning, or after the baby arrived) He thinks I am being selfish by not allowing anyone to be there. I understand that our families will be excited and want to be there but at the same time, What about what I want? I am a really mellow person and Im sure I wont want all the craziness.

Also, I was telling my husband that after their initial hospital visits, that I wouldn't want any home visitors for about the first week while our little family is getting adjusted. But then after that, family and friends can come by whenever. Again, he thinks I'm being too territorial and selfish. (I see what he is saying but I am standing firm on this one. This is really what I want. Maybe I'll change my mind but this is how I feel!)

Maybe this stems from me coming from a not super close-knit family. (which he sort of doesn't either. and his family is very small) Or maybe this stems from the fact that his mom is a control freak and always thinks she is right, and I don't want her to try to take over. don't get me wrong, I love her, Im just stating a fact. lol. anyway, I'm not sure exactly why I feel this way, but I do!

Anyone else have similar feelings?

 

[Firefly Skies]

I know how you feel, but that's because my MIL is extremely overbearing and my own mom is too. They're both kind of a nightmare when it comes to any kind of service provider, being snappy and rude, like they know the person's job better than the person does. I would NOT want them in the delivery room, getting involved and ordering anyone (OR ME) around. Lucky, DH is on my side about that one.

I also wouldn't want him to ring MIL and tell her I'm in labor, because she would rush right over regardless, ugh. She's done that sort of thing before; obviously not about labor, but unimportant stuff (so imagine if it WAS something big like giving birth to her grandchild). Basically, that's any time we tell her on the phone "now's not a good time" and she takes that as "I better drive 30 minutes to check on my adult son and his wife just in case".

 

[Amalee]

There are very few times in a couple's life that I really think whatever he/she says, goes. Having a baby is one of those times. You will be uncomfortable, possibly hooked up to machines, and being poked and prodded by doctors. That's enough to make anyone anxious, and you won't need anything irritating or unwelcome on top of it.

On the other hand, you may feel differently when you're actually in the hospital and laboring, or you've just had the baby. It might be nice to have some people in the waiting room so that if you feel up to it, you can see then and chat with them, and if not, you can say hello and then make sure the nurse knows to come check on you after 5 minutes.

 

[myangel167]

thank u for the responses!

 

[Button#]

I wouldn't have wanted anyone except OH near me during or straight after labour. Luckily my in laws and parents live 4 hours away so no one can pop by.

When I had Ashley no one was informed that I was in labour until about 7am, I'd been in labour since 3.30am. Only my BIL came to visit me in the hospital and that was 5 hours after I gave birth. My family came to visit the day after I got out of hospital which was lovely as my mum made everyone dinner and I didn't have to entertain anyone. My inlaws came to see us a couple of weeks later as my FIL is a teacher and couldn't get off work until half term.

When you're in labour what you say goes. It's an extremely vulnerable position to be in and you need to make OH aware that when you are in that position no matter how many egos are bruised it is all about you an baby and other peoples feelings and rights don't come into it.