Am I being difficult?

[fxmummyduck]

I just had an argument with both the receptionist and my dh after ringing to tell the Drs office I’ve had positive home pregnancy tests for the last 2 weeks. I was asked to come in for blood work to confirm and I said I didn’t want the labs done. I’ll happily do a urine test but I think bloods for hcg levels are unnecessary and often cause more anxiety. They’re not routinely done in the UK but knew it’d probably be different here in the US. I’m really upset now as everyone is making it out like I’m just being really difficult surely I have the right to say no to certain tests??? I don’t think I realized how uncomfortable I was going to feel doing all this in a different country. I’m trying not to offend anyone but shouldn’t my best interests/feelings come first?

 

[Bumpontherun]

I'm in the UK and I completely agree with you. Why medicalise what is essentially a normal aspect of female physiology? Also you are paying for the treatment so surely you should dictate which parts you want. I would also refuse the ridiculously early scans they do in the US which seem to cause a huge amount of anxiety. Essentially these doctors are running a business and are trying to make as much money out of you as possible by running unnecessary tests. You stand your ground!! Phew - I never knew I felt so passionately about this - congrats on your pregnancy by the way

 

[Reiko_ctu]

Is it just hcg tests? I know my mw lets me opt out of anything u want, but the early blood tests were hiv, iron levels, and blood type for rh.

I've had 2 pregnancies with them before so they have my results and had an iron level done in the previous month so I skipped all the blood tests. I do have to do and a1c for diabetes but that's my history as well.

You can certainly opt out of any tests you like but is it possible for them to deny you care based on those choices? I'm not sure. I would clarify what the tests are for. There's no need for an hcg test but there is a pregnancy serum that's a yes or no pregnant rather than a number.

 

[Talia12]

I agree with pp ask if there's a qualitative test, yes no answer instead of having to have hcg draws. I've lived in a country with private only healthcare too and it drives me up the f*cking wall how many tests they want to do and pretend they're necessary, all so they can charge you for it. It's a con. I hope you can opt out and not get refused other care.

 

[xdxxtx]

I live in the US. Since I'm low risk, I've never had any bloods drawn. My friend who goes to a different practice does get bloods done, and my sister who sees yet another different practice also gets bloods done. If I'm not comfortable with something, I refuse it, and the practice I sees has me sign a waiver and doesn't give me any grief about it. Here's the thing... You're in the US? Find a different practice. Ask them how they confirm a pregnancy - preferably via ultrasound or whatever you're comfortable with. Go with whomever makes you feel comfortable. Make sure you're "allowed" to refuse testing without causing any issues with their practice.

 

[Allie84]

I'm in the US and my first bloods were not HCG but a 'prengancy panel' including RH status, HIV, iron, etc. They only confirmed my pregnancy with a urine test.

I think all practices are different and here you can 'shop around.' For example my GP referred me to do weekly progesterone tests. That has been a nightmare. I have done 4 and they have caused a lot of worry. I don't think I'm going to go anymore.

You are not being unreasonable! If they want to confirm the pregnancy, they can do a urine test in office like mine did.

 

[Scout]

No, you're not being unreasonable. It's okay to say no to anything you're not comfortable doing. I was high risk and had a lot of scans, and while I was happy to see baby so much, the bills were quite expensive so I told my OB no more scans. Healthcare here in the US is for profit, so of course they do things they don't need to do and it's okay to say no to those things. Find someone else if your doctor gives you any grief over it.

 

[fxmummyduck]

Had my appointment this morning and they insisted on the hcg draw and want it over 1000, I’m just trying to ignore it, the result will be in my patient portal so if I have the willpower I’ll just not look. I did however manage to decline an internal exam (that one shocked me!!) to swab for gonorrhea and something else which they could just do from my urine sample.

I’ve been booked into an early scan, wasn’t happy about this but they said I can request an abdominal ultrasound and won’t panic if they can’t see anything yet, they’ll just rescan me again after two weeks. They want to have an idea of dates as there is a huge difference between lmp and when I think I ovulated/had a positive test.

 

[dairymomma]

One thing to consider is if your insurance needs a beta hCG done to confirm the pregnancy. My old insurance company needed the blood test to confirm the pregnancy before they would cover any prenatal charges. I believe my current insurance plan is the same way but I always get repeat hCG blood tests done so I guess I'm not totally sure on that. (We track my beta levels because I have a history of recurrent miscarriage and we use the beta numbers to see if things look okay in the weeks before we can do an ultrasound.)

However, if it's not required for your insurance then I agree that you should be able to opt out of it if you want.

 

[krissie328]

First, congrats on your pregnancy.

Second, I completely agree you should be able to opt out of whatever testing you want. I live in the US and I've never been questioned when I declined specific tests. Is it possible to find a new ob?

 

[sevenofnine]

I’m in the US, and at my hospital they won’t draw bloods unless there are issues or concerns. If it’s a typical pregnancy, they just book you for a first appt at 8-12 weeks!

But each hospital can be very different. I think you’re completely within your rights and not crazy at all for skipping the tests!

 

[fxmummyduck]

So I think I’m going to ring and cancel the sonogram booked for Monday, it’s way too early and I had such a sleepless night over it. They’re going to take one look at my lmp and try and tell me it’s bad news. I think I’ll put it off for another two weeks when hopefully there would be more to see.

 

[krissie328]

So I think I’m going to ring and cancel the sonogram booked for Monday, it’s way too early and I had such a sleepless night over it. They’re going to take one look at my lmp and try and tell me it’s bad news. I think I’ll put it off for another two weeks when hopefully there would be more to see.

That is a good idea. No need for all the extra stress.

 

[LoraLoo]

I felt stressed just reading your post, youre absolutely within yoyr rights to refuse anything youre not comfortable with. Your body, your choice. Go with your gut re the scan, 2 weeks time sounds a much better time frame to me. Good luck.

 

[fxmummyduck]

Thanks everyone, I appreciate all your replies and support on this. Dh is agreeing too, he can see how much it’s stressing me out.

 

[fxmummyduck]

I changed the appointment so first scan will be around 8 weeks instead of 6. I’m still nervous but I think 6 is just silly!!!

 

[Allie84]

8 is better! You will see a heartbeat and a baby at that poin!

 

[karoolia]

It's strange how different practices do things so differently. I'm in the US and my OB wouldn't see me at all until 10 weeks. I called, said I had a positive test, they asked LMP, and gave me a date to come in. I guess where you have a discrepancy in dates that might throw things off, but I don't think my OB would have done an HCG draw.

I think you made a good call waiting a little longer. If an early scan was making you too stressed then it just isn't worth it.

 

[holly2234]

I am from the UK and had my first baby there (in 2011) and I've been living in the US for the last 5 years and I am experiencing some of the same worries as you since I am not used to the poking and prodding for no apparent reason. I had the swabs etc done on Friday and was very shocked as I didn't expect that at all.

Though I have decided that I am going to take part in the testing as I discussed my concerns with a few members of staff and they all assured me that they will be flexible during the birth to give me what I hope for, which I understand won't be a typical birth in the US so I am going to give them what they need from me now. Also my insurance does require certain testing unless I want to pay a higher price so im opting for an extra needle to save my wallet. But at the end of the day, they just don't understand the cultural differences and sometimes they need to be told our concerns.

Don't feel that you are being difficult as your comfort is what is important. Don't be afraid to ask questions and shop around for a doctor or midwife that will work well with you.

 

[fxmummyduck]

Whereabouts in the US are you? We’ve been here since Feb 2016.

Definitely feeling like the cultural differences are going to be hard, there is no birth option that I’m happy about either in my area so that’s playing on my mind. I’m not sure how much notice they’ll take if I write out all the things I’d like, things that I’m not happy about etc

No offense to my US friends but where I am at least, it seems a bit old fashioned regarding many things, like having an active labour, or water, intermittent fetal monitoring, you have to request baby doesn’t go to the nursery, skin to skin isn’t the norm etc etc I could go on!!! Things I’d take for granted happening in the UK I feel like I’ll have to request here and I’m not sure how well received it’ll be.