Am I just being silly?

[teeniestep]

Well my OH proposed to me the other day...
He was on tag, (over hardly anything) and they took it off on Monday.
I came round to sit with him all day, well i say all day he was at his mates while i was babysitting HIS baby niece. I was trying to settle the baby with tears streaming down both our faces...
That night he blamed me for his brothers dog dying so i went home early, he made a complete and utter idiot out of me infront of his family saying it was my fault
I was going to go round last night after work but when i told him he said 'Not to bother he's 'busy''
I was going to go down now but again he said 'He's busy'
I don't know if i was being stupid or what but i'm sure he said' 'Babe he's alright yano' when he thought that i had put the phone down. When I was asked him what he said he was like 'Oh oh nothing'.
WHAT THE HELL!
He's the man i wanted to spend the rest of my life with.



FINAL UPDATE IS ON PAGE 17

 

[Armywife]

I don't really know what to say sweetie as i don't know the background to each incident and whether this is the first time he has treated you in this way but i don't think you're being silly. I would be very upset if my husband acted like this towards me and you have a right to be hurt and cross.

Sometimes men don't think though, he may just be trying to see how far he can push you or he may really not have a clue how his actions have affected you. The only thing i can suggest is have a long think alone, write down all the pros and cons in your relationship then wrtie down all the things he does/has done. Arrange to meet up when neither of you are angry and discuss each point.

Healthy relationships are based upon communication, trust, support and honesty, without those things there is nothing to fall back on when things go wrong. Good luck to you, i hope you manage to sort things out happily xxxxx

 

[Armywife]

Oh and congratulations on your engagement! xx

 

[aliss]

Hon, having read your past posts about this guy (didn't he cheat on you recently, too? Not to mention the drama that he currently has another girl pregnant), I'm not sure why you put yourself through this? I don't know what your previous relationship experience is (you are 18, so I'm guessing it isn't a lot), but a good man would NEVER treat you like this guy does.

 

[Armywife]

Didn't know about past posts but in that case i'd have to agree. Any man worth your time would never treat you like this. As hard as it may be to walk away, you really do deserve better and it will probably be the best thing you ever did. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this but aliss is right. Take care xxx

 

[poppy]

Sorry to sound stupid, but what does 'on tag' mean?

 

[maaybe2010]

Sorry to sound stupid, but what does 'on tag' mean?

I think it means an electrical tag round his ankle, so the police can track where he is?
And make sure he sticks to a curfew

xx

 

[mumsxboys]

Oh dear I dont really have any advice, but didnt wanna read and run! Congratulations on the engagement! xx

 

[Lianne1986]

same here mumsxboy...congrats also xx

 

[poppy]

Sorry to sound stupid, but what does 'on tag' mean?

I think it means an electrical tag round his ankle, so the police can track where he is?
And make sure he sticks to a curfew

xx

Thanks! I am having a real moment!

Hmmm, he sounds a real catch.

I think the police tagging thing plus the fact that you have said that he is treating you like rubbish, I would get out now and count it a lucky escape! If he is being like this to you now, what is he going to be like once you are married? Unless he makes a real concerted effort to change his ways (including not getting involved with the police - now, I know people make mistakes and so on and I don't know what he had the tag for but I recon people don't get tagged for having a parking fine), do you really want him to be the man you have children with? Would he be a good role model?

I hope you work things out one way or another and find the happiness you deserve.

xxx

 

[carbafe]

You do not deserve to be treated like that ! I definitely don't think you should get engaged to someone who treats you like this. At the very least I would give him an ultimatum and tell him he either treats you better or the engagement is off.

I have been treated badly by a boyfriend in the past and I thought I loved him to much and couldn't live without him and kept forgiving him. Eventually enough was enough and we broke up and I can tell you it was the best thing I have ever done. Once we had broken up I realised just how miserable he made me and how happy I was without him. I am now married to my lovely husband and have never looked back.

You are only 18 don't get tied into a destructive relationship. Also in my experience once a cheat always a cheat.

I hope you don't think I am being to forward. If so you can ignore my post. I just know from experience it can be so easy to make up excuses for someone when your in love but sometimes its so much better for you (and less heart ache in the long run) to get out.

 

[plutosblue]

Hun if some man, any man for that matter blamed me for his brothers dogs death and then started acting like that to me I would tell him where to sling it.

No man, no matter how much you love him, should be allowed to treat you like that.

I would say congrats on your engagment, but are you sure you want to spend the rest of your life with him? I don't know the ins and outs of the relationship, but no man would treat you like that if he held any sort of respect for you.

Take some time and evaluate how this is going, since from your other posts its seems like hes making you pretty miserable, a good thing to go by is that, no man is worth your tears and the one who is worth it, won't make you cry.

Sorry if I sound negative, but I was in a relationship like this in my teens and I left him and I was so glad I did now.

Feel better hun.

 

[Amygdala]

I agree with the others, run for the hills!

 

[wanna-b-mummy]

I agree with everybody - No man has the right to make you feel this way and I would not be standing for it. I reaaaally don't mean to be patronizing, honestly hun, but you are so young with so much ahead of you, would you really want a guy that blames you for his brother's dog dying and speaks to you like crap? There are some wonderful men out there that would worship the ground you walk on and wouldn't treat you like he has.

I hope this isn't too cut and dry but if someone is making you cry more than they make you smile, I always say it's time to get out.

I hope you can work this out hun xx

 

[Princess_LV]

Sorry to be blunt, but he sounds like an absolute arse to me hun. If you stay in a relationship like that, it will not do either of you any good in the long run, as it will entirely alter your perception of the opposite sex. He will spend the rest of his life thinking all women are pushovers and continue to treat them that way, and you will spend the rest of yours thinking that is how you should be treated as a woman... and that is NOT GOOD. Self-fulfilling prohecies and all that. I really think you need to re-evaluate what you are doing together, because from the outside looking in, it is not working. xxx

 

[sleepinbeauty]

I'm sorry to say this to you because I now you must be excited still seeing as it's only been 4 days (according to your ticker) but it sounds like he asked you as a means of control.

My ex-fiance did the same thing to me. He was a lying good-for-nothing dirt-bag. As much as it hurts, you need to get yourself out before it gets worse. It certainty did for me in the same situation.

 

[caz81]

omg ive just read some more of your posts about him, and the only thing i can say is - run!!! what an idiot, he treats you terribly...you need to give him back the ring & get out of the relationship now xx

 

[Damita]

Sorry to say this but I am agreeing with all the others, he sounds like he isn't ready for this sorry hun

 

[Cornbread]

Hon, having read your past posts about this guy (didn't he cheat on you recently, too? Not to mention the drama that he currently has another girl pregnant), I'm not sure why you put yourself through this? I don't know what your previous relationship experience is (you are 18, so I'm guessing it isn't a lot), but a good man would NEVER treat you like this guy does.

I don't know about the other stuff because I'm new but I totally agree with the bolded.

Hun if some man, any man for that matter blamed me for his brothers dogs death and then started acting like that to me I would tell him where to sling it.

No man, no matter how much you love him, should be allowed to treat you like that.

I would say congrats on your engagment, but are you sure you want to spend the rest of your life with him? I don't know the ins and outs of the relationship, but no man would treat you like that if he held any sort of respect for you.

Take some time and evaluate how this is going, since from your other posts its seems like hes making you pretty miserable, a good thing to go by is that, no man is worth your tears and the one who is worth it, won't make you cry.

Sorry if I sound negative, but I was in a relationship like this in my teens and I left him and I was so glad I did now.

Feel better hun.

I completely agree with everything in this post. It says a lot about his character that he's treating you the way he is, and none of it is good. I think it's lucky that you're finding out he's like this now rather than after you get married. If he's treating you like this while you're *just* engaged, how bad is it going to get once you're his wife?

You deserve so much better than how he's treating you, and I don't have to know you to be able to say that with total certainty. No woman deserves to be treated how he's treating you. If you don't think you can cut ties and run, what about confronting him about his behavior? Stand up to him and say "This is how you're making me feel, this is how you're treating me, it's not acceptable, and it needs to stop." and his reaction to that should tell you plenty.

You deserve SO much better than this. If you want to stay with him, it sounds like at a BARE minimum he needs to go to anger management and individual counseling, and you two need to go to couples counseling and pre-marital counseling together. If he's not willing to change his act, blows off what you tell him, and doesn't want to go to counseling and whatnot, please please please run far away.

I know it's not easy but in the long run, you (and future children you want to have with this guy) will be better off if you stand up for yourself NOW.

 

[Lilly12]

Stand up for yourself hun!!! Nobody else is going to do that for you.
And you don't want a child with this man do you?? If he treats you like sh**, which he obviously does? Then why would you want to bring a child into that situation.
A real man doesn't treat a woman like that!!
Always remember that.
You can get way better than that.