Am I just being silly?

[tasha41]

I don't understand the "I don't give up on love that easily" bit when you've been together 6 months, during which, his ex girlfriend has been pregnant... he has cheated on you & has given you an STD, you argue... you say you haven't argued in a couple of days?

I argue with my OH maybe once every 2 or 3 months We didn't even start to have arguements TBH until we were together for 12-18 months.

Every poster essentially on your threads in WTT and Teen Pregnancy gives you the same advice, if you aren't going to listen and then just defend him against what we are saying... I just hope you don't end up learning the hard way

 

[sleepinbeauty]

I haven't read your other threads...

I hope you don't feel like we're we've all got in in for you or anything. We just want you to be safe and happy. Please take some times to think about it.

I argue with my OH maybe once every 2 or 3 months We didn't even start to have arguements TBH until we were together for 12-18 months.

Yeah, us either. It's usually over within a few minutes. Sure, we can go longer but NEVER more than an hour or two. Days? I remember what that was like with my ex. I'll never be with someone like that again (even if I weren't engaged to my honeybun ). MY ex routinely made me feel like *I* was doing somethign wrong and that he was trying to find "his" method to "cope". Horseshit. He was controlling me. We were together for almost 5 years. He cheated on me, lied to me stood me up (for holidays with my family, no less!). He once stood me up at HIS family party. I was there without him. I left him the next day.

We'd have fun but as time went on I began to hate him. It all started with his words then it escalated to him forcing me to have sex with him even though I didn't want it. I worked all week and he sat around and smoked up while I did. He's make me feel bad for being tired. I was always uncomfortable with his around. I just couldn't relax! He would always be pushing me past where I was comfortable.

He always carried knives with him. Always had to tell everyone how much better and stronger he was than they were. I was afraid of him in the end. I was afraid to leave him because I thought he would do something to someone because of the way he was.

Even now he will contact me on occasion and start in with me. At least now I know how fucked up he is. And you know what? No woman will ever change him. That's who he is. I didn't "give up on love". I got myself OUT so I could be safe.

I hope you get out too. Preferably before it gets to that point.

 

[aliss]

https://www.babyandbump.com/teen-pregnancy/269523-he-really-worth-update-pg-4-6-a.html
https://www.babyandbump.com/teen-pregnancy/297820-paternity-testing.html

Cheats on you, gives you STD's, treats you like crap, and you are willing to pay for a DNA test for HIS child with another woman because he doesn't make enough to do it himself? You are 18 & dating 6 months?

Good lord, you really need to take off the blinders. People don't even do things like that to people they hate.

 

[plutosblue]

https://www.babyandbump.com/teen-pregnancy/269523-he-really-worth-update-pg-4-6-a.html
https://www.babyandbump.com/teen-pregnancy/297820-paternity-testing.html

Cheats on you, gives you STD's, treats you like crap, and you are willing to pay for a DNA test for HIS child with another woman because he doesn't make enough to do it himself? You are 18 & dating 6 months?

Good lord, you really need to take off the blinders. People don't even do things like that to people they hate.

Wholeheartedly agree. After reading all that I have concluded he is a waste of fresh air.

 

[sleepinbeauty]

https://www.babyandbump.com/teen-pregnancy/269523-he-really-worth-update-pg-4-6-a.html
https://www.babyandbump.com/teen-pregnancy/297820-paternity-testing.html

Cheats on you, gives you STD's, treats you like crap, and you are willing to pay for a DNA test for HIS child with another woman because he doesn't make enough to do it himself? You are 18 & dating 6 months?

Good lord, you really need to take off the blinders. People don't even do things like that to people they hate.

Wholeheartedly agree. After reading all that I have concluded he is a waste of fresh air.

My thoughts exactly.

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

Have you seen how bad he treats you? Would you really want a baby with this man?/ If he is like this 6 months into a realtionship then what is he goingto be liek two three years downthe line with a baby??

I would tell him to sling his hook you are better than the way eh is treating you and you can do so much better
xx

 

[Lianne1986]

i totally agree with all u ladies...
he treats u like crap then u stick up for him,
it doesnt matter what u have been thru in the last 6 months months, hes treatin u like sumthing on the bottom of his shoe,
he sounds like he needs to grow up a bit before being in a relationship or becoming a dad!!!if he isnt mature enuff to treat a women right i'd say he certainly isnt mature enough to b a dad!!

what would u say to ur best friend or ur sister(if u have one) if SHE was being treated like this???

 

[Armywife]

As with Cornbread, my hubby has seen a lot of bad things, mostly within the army. He has done 2 tours of afghan (as well as many other tours in other places) and seen people being blown to bits right next to him (including his best friend) he also had a difficult childhood but he has never taken it out on me or anyone he loves. He has shouted and ranted TO me - never AT me, there is a huge difference between the two. He was 'failed' as in he was given no support for a long time with his post traumatic stress disorder but he found himself the help that worked. He didn't just go to one session and then say, 'Oh, well i talked for an hour and don't feel better so it musn't work' he continued to go back until he found the coping method that did work. The reason he says he did this? FOR ME AND OUR FAMILY.

Sweetie, no one, (and i promise you this) is saying these things to hurt you or to get at your oh for kicks. The fact is, we know where you are like the back of our hands because we have all been there. The truth of the matter is, you felt bad enough at some point to post the original post and that is what you need to remember. I fear for girls like you, young, naive and totallly in love. The thing is, whether you believe it or not, you are in love with the idea of this relationship, not the reality or the boy in question. He is a child and seriously needs to grow up before he even looks at a baby. No one on this site wants you to turn around in a year and say, 'He doesn't mean to hit me, he doesn't even know he's doing it till its done. He's always so sorry, it breaks his heart when he realises what he's done' Believe me, with most men of this nature that is only one step away.

Please have a look at this link: https://www.babyandbump.com/baby-cl...ved-domestic-violence-june-7th-june-14th.html

I feel there is nothing else i can say but i hope you are safe and at least keep what has been said in mind xxxx

 

[sleepinbeauty]

^ She put it perfectly.

You should deffo check out the link provided.

 

[Amygdala]

I just read your other thread and I think if you REALLY can't see that this is not a healthy (nor loving or respectful) relationship then there's nothing anyone on here can say to make you realise that. It's so blatently obvious that he's bad news from the outside but I fear that for you things will probably have to get even worse before you see him for what he is. Just please please do not have a child with this boy. You can leave whenever you decide to do so but his child would be stuck with him as a dad for life.

 

[carbafe]

teeniestep the fact that you are posting threads asking us about your bf behaviour means you know the way he is treating you is not right. Otherwise why bother posting ? Please see all of these responses telling you to dump him as a sign that this is really not the guy for you.

You say your making him sound like a twat - this is how I would feel when I told people about things my ex did to me. Believe me he IS a twat.

You say you haven't fought in a few days - When I first stared to go out with my husband I said to him on a night out " This is so weird we go out and get drunk and never fall out or end up crying and going home" to which he looked at me with wide eyes because normal couples don't fight that often. Hubby and I will have cross words like "I told you it was in the kitchen" etc but we only have arguments every couple of months and even these are tame compared to the fights I had with my EX.

Please read all of these posts and have the strength to leave him. You can never really change a man - you can perhaps change his small things like sense of dress - I am slowly getting hubby to wear shoes that match his outfit - but you can't change his personality.

 

[Princess_LV]

Armywife has really summed this whole thing up perfectly.

I think you have a case of "battered wife syndrome" teenie, have a look at what that means and I'm certain it will ring true. If you have a baby with this BOY (not man) you won't just be being silly, you will be being stupidly naive and selfish. You say in one of your other posts that you know that he will not take his anger out on his child... if he takes his anger out on YOU, which he clearly does, this will affect your child in a huge way. I'm not going to sugar coat this, he's a waste of space, and he cannot blame anyone but himself for this.

 

[teeniestep]

Me and him are over, i'm not going into details because i'm really hungover right now and got to get ready for work . he was emotionally blackmailing me and obviously doesn't care about me
I NEVER drink but i was just necking alcohol last night and ended up stupidly drunk

 

[teeniestep]

I hate to say it but you were right about him
Sorry if i seemed horrible in some of my posts ladies.

 

[Lianne1986]

teeniestep, i wish the best of luck in ur life,
i dont really know wat to say but i didnt wanna read and run x

 

[sleepinbeauty]

Don't apologize sweetie. It'll be ok. We're just so glad you got yourself out.

 

[aliss]

I hate to say it but you were right about him
Sorry if i seemed horrible in some of my posts ladies.

Of course we don't think you were horrible - a lot of us have been there. I *promise* you will look back and realize that this will be a good learning experience for you- now, you will see the signs (looking back) and know what to demand for yourself in the future.

 

[Cornbread]

I hate to say it but you were right about him
Sorry if i seemed horrible in some of my posts ladies.

I'm sorry you had to get hurt. :hugs

 

[Dinah]

Sorry to hear you got hurt but glad you are out - it was not a good situation at all. *hugs* hoping you feel happier soon and find a man who treats you like you deserve!

- Dinah

 

[caz81]

glad you have got out of that situation xx