Am I overreacting?

[Luyandasmummy]

Hi im 3months pregnant and this is my first pregnancy. I'm in a challenging relationship. I say challenging because ever since the beginning of the relationship all it has done is challenge me emotionally. Ever since I found out I was preggies my boyfriend is the most difficult (more than usual) person to deal with. I feel like he is not supportive emotionally. We fight everytime (nothing new but it hurts more this time). I cry almost everyday and find myself overwhelmed with regret. We had a misunderstanding just the other day (3days ago) and he doesnt want me around him, infact he hasnt spoken to me since the miscommunication besides the when he wanted something then stopped talking to me again. Quite frankly I'm tired of his childish behavior

Im not sure if the reason why this is hitting harder is because of the hormones or he his really being a jerk. I need him now more than ever and his the one thing that brings more stress than anything right now. Ive been contemplating ending the relationship but I fear being alone on this journey to motherhood. Please help, am I overreacting or something is wrong?

 

[Misscalais]

He sounds like a jerk to me. And it sounds like the relationship was not a good one from the get go.

 

[Larkspur]

Anyone who refuses to speak to their partner for three days over a misunderstanding is not ready to be a parent, IMHO.

If you think pregnancy is a strain on your relationship, a baby is 20 x worse. Even strong relationships can be severely tested by the arrival of a baby.

If it were me, I would be telling him to get his shit together and grow up, or ship out and stop dragging me down.

 

[HappiestMom]

agree with the previous posters....trust me..it will not get better when a baby comes...it will get worse...and you will be even more stressed..I would seriously end it now and ENJOY the rest of your pregnancy without the emotional stress of an immature boyfriend...

 

[AdriansMama]

I'm so sorry you are going through that he sounds like an idiot to be honest . My now husband was 16 when we found out we were pregnant with our first and he never acted like that even then! I agree with the above "shape up or ship out !"

 

[DobbyForever]

You are not overreacting. If your relationship was rocky, I would venture your bean was a surprise. I could be wrong. But guys, unless they are really into having kids, do not process the joyful news the way we do. He is probably stressed out. And I'm sure with the stress of the situation, relationship, and (yes!) those hormones it is taking a toll on you. I know how much it sucks to be pregnant with a guy who you cannot communicate with, and I know what it is like to have a guy not be there when you need them most. All I can say is you are well within your rights to be frustrated. But how can we fix this so you feel better? Knowing you can only control you. Hugs hugs hugs you are always welcome to come and vent here as well. Do you have family nearby to lean on?

 

[neverbeast88]

My (ex?)partner was the same. He had started a new job but as the weeks went by he became horrible and his mum got involved so I said I needed space. He didnt give it to me, came round the house shouting, throwing tiny stones at the window, endless phone calls/texting etc all whilst my young daughter was scared inside the house [from a previous relationship - boy can I pick them!]. We have spoken and are trying to work it out because apparently me leaving him was the kick up the bum he needed.

My point being from previous experience its rubbish at the time but if hes being a loser now chances are he wont change and there is no shame in doing it alone. People will judge but no ones life is perfect at all. And as a previous poster said it would be better to end the stress now and have a happy pregnancy than feel rubbish the whole time.

Theres a single parent board on here where the people are lovely and full of advice. But you're welcome anywhere, dont feel youre alone.

 

[Luyandasmummy]

thanks for the advice, i already know his reaction and outcome of the situation after i tell him to step up, i just need to prepare myself to be alone

No i live away from my family, im studying in another province. Iv kinda lost my friends so without him in the picture its just me, my books and my unborn baby.

 

[Scarlett2]

If you know that he will walk if you tell him to shape up, then I would suggest that it's better that he leaves now than when the baby is tiny. At least this way you can prepare yourself. Do you have any groups for pregnant women? I'm not sure where you are but in the UK they have bumps and babe groups which provide a social network for pregnant women. I'm sorry you're going through this and good luck with your chat with boyfriend.

 

[winterbabies3]

I am sorry you don't have family around!! I did this with DS1's father and I regret ever giving him the time of day or putting up with him through out the whole pregnancy and a little bit after baby was born. You will be so much happier without him. It just takes time to get into a new routine without that person!! You could always focus on baby. You can even start shopping if you wanted to. Crib, neutral clothing, bottles, socks, soaps, diapers, lotions...there's a lot for baby just try to focus on the good!!

 

[Pamarin]

Im sorry you are going through this. Pregnancy is a tough journey and the last thing you need is stress from your boyfriend. If he cant get it together now, chances are he wont when the baby arrives. I know its tough for you, but honestly, don't be scared to be alone, you will be ok. You will be stress free and you can focus on your baby. could you go live with family? Many churches have support groups where you can make some friends and get help if you need it.
I know when my husband was deployed, my church really helped, I made some great friends.
I hope your boyfriend comes around to his senses. He'll miss out on a life with you and his baby. It would be a great loss for him.
hugs!