Am i paranoid?

[AlwaysPraying]

They say when your personal stuff is impending on your life or others life then it is an issue. If it's bothering you, or upsetting your relationship (or yourself) then you need to get it fixed / change it.

Ask yourself this - do you believe your actions control things? If you check three times, does that ensure that something bad won't happen? That's a good indication that your control is going in the wrong way if you believe that. Yes, locking doors is right, but triple checking them does not make it more secure, and if you don't check three times, that does not mean that someone will break in. Do you see what I mean?

If you can, try only checking it once. Try doing things in a different order and force yourself to go downstairs and let it be. If it's killing you and you can't stand it being done a different way, then, I'd say, think about that, see if you want to change that. It's really all up to you.

I check on cubs 2x before I go to bed, every night. Well, I used to. It started as habit and then it started into an obsession. First I'd go check on him, then go to the bathroom, then check on him again, then go to bed myself. If for some reason I went to the bathroom before checking on him, I'd be sure to check on him twice anyways. It quickly became an issue and I forced myself to think about why I needed to do that, and the fact was, I didn't need to, I wanted to. So now, I check once, or twice if I want to and it works out, but not because I have to.

There's a fine line between taking care of our families and taking it too far. Because really, it's never too much care when we are talking about our kids, right? Wrong. It's not healthy to sacrifice our own mental well being because we think we're helping the health and safety of our children. We end up staying up late, not sleeping well, missing out on happy times, genuinely missing enjoying time to ourselves when all we do is worry that something wasn't done right. Sorry to go on, but I've been there and it's not a fun place to be, but then again, I enjoy taking care and being aware. Now I triple check his car seat (safety), and check on him once after I put him to bed (safety), and that's all I need, and it's reasonable. You need to find what's reasonable for you.

 

[New Mrs W]

Getting rid of the movement sensor was a big thing for me but I did it just before Frankie turned 1. It is now boxed up in our cellar for next time. I found that it really helped me in the early days as Frankie was a great sleeper and I found that I was relaxed enough to sleep too knowing that his movement sensor was on and would alert me if anything happened. The odd false alarm frightened me but was so worth it for the peace of mind I had. But as he became more mobile on his cot the bloody thing was going off every night and waking him up so I took the brave decision to get rid of it. And have been fine ever sine!

 

[Babydance]

My goodness you sound so like me!! But LO goes to sleep (in cotbed now sides are off!) duvet over her and teddy beside her, i check everything is on plugged in, buttons up etc. I go up to wee i pop in to check its on etc repeat manic little ritual lol then before bed i go in check plug a few times check wires are in check buttons are at right setting oh my goodness im tired thinking about it.... LO is 2.5years old!!!! I will get over this i guess, im just not ready to get rid of my comfort blanket. I guess you'll know when youre ready to get rid of it? Its not doing any harm having it on, maybe just stressing you out more? xxxx

 

[Wriggley]

thanks for all the replies ladies they have helped alot - im more then happy to continue my routine as its not hurting anyone else but i do worry that its becoming a problem/obsession of mine that i might find really difficult to stop when the time comes to change what i do

They say when your personal stuff is impending on your life or others life then it is an issue. If it's bothering you, or upsetting your relationship (or yourself) then you need to get it fixed / change it.

Ask yourself this - do you believe your actions control things? If you check three times, does that ensure that something bad won't happen? That's a good indication that your control is going in the wrong way if you believe that. Yes, locking doors is right, but triple checking them does not make it more secure, and if you don't check three times, that does not mean that someone will break in. Do you see what I mean?

If you can, try only checking it once. Try doing things in a different order and force yourself to go downstairs and let it be. If it's killing you and you can't stand it being done a different way, then, I'd say, think about that, see if you want to change that. It's really all up to you.

I check on cubs 2x before I go to bed, every night. Well, I used to. It started as habit and then it started into an obsession. First I'd go check on him, then go to the bathroom, then check on him again, then go to bed myself. If for some reason I went to the bathroom before checking on him, I'd be sure to check on him twice anyways. It quickly became an issue and I forced myself to think about why I needed to do that, and the fact was, I didn't need to, I wanted to. So now, I check once, or twice if I want to and it works out, but not because I have to.

There's a fine line between taking care of our families and taking it too far. Because really, it's never too much care when we are talking about our kids, right? Wrong. It's not healthy to sacrifice our own mental well being because we think we're helping the health and safety of our children. We end up staying up late, not sleeping well, missing out on happy times, genuinely missing enjoying time to ourselves when all we do is worry that something wasn't done right. Sorry to go on, but I've been there and it's not a fun place to be, but then again, I enjoy taking care and being aware. Now I triple check his car seat (safety), and check on him once after I put him to bed (safety), and that's all I need, and it's reasonable. You need to find what's reasonable for you.

Ermmm well i check the alarm and wires and everything and i check em so much as i get to bed and decide i forgot if i checked or not if that makes sence so i did it in a certain routine so i know i had done the exact same as the night before - i never actually forgot if i had done it or not i just told myself i had - giving me a reason to recheck.

I cant do it in a different order it makes me feel fidgety and i end up getting stressed over it.

Its mainly just little obsessions i have when i go to bed though i do have some other little 'habits' during the day like when im out both feet have to touch all different types/colours textures of pavements equal times to each other if i step on a crack with 1 food i have to step on a crack with the other otherwise i dont feel balanced if that makes sence? when i was a kid i used to imagine there was a really long piece of string tied to me and the person i was walking with which mean i had to follow the person who i was with exact path so i didnt get the string tangled up - i dont do that any more thank god! most of my little habits are to do with equals like if i touch something with one hand i have to touch it with the other - touch 1 wall i have to touch all 4 with both hands or i feel unbalanced.

 

[besttoys]

I think that's what makes you a mom. You can't help yourself to look for your baby.

 

[PepsiChic]

This sounds exactly like be but because of the mat i dont feel the need to check his breathing at night - i do however constantly check his breathing if hes asleep in his buggy.

i check our doors are locking but only twice (lock back door then lock front door go back to check back door then recheck front door done)

and the oven i have to touch all the knobs for the hobs are off and the oven bit too

Oh and i installed a carbon monoxide detector

Me too and we dont have anything gas in the house

I installed one too but we have gas and an open fire. It went off the other week and scared the shit outta me! Glad i had it, they think it was due to the fire and he amount of time it was going with no fresh air comming into the room x

mine actually speaks we tsted it once and OMG its loud!

...and her voice is annoying. "warning warning, carbon dioxide detected, warning warning!"

and if it even gets the slightest wiff of smoke a man stats screaming "FIRE FIRE! get out now. FIRE FIRE!"

we didnt know it talked when we got it!

 

[bathbabe]

This sounds exactly like be but because of the mat i dont feel the need to check his breathing at night - i do however constantly check his breathing if hes asleep in his buggy.

i check our doors are locking but only twice (lock back door then lock front door go back to check back door then recheck front door done)

and the oven i have to touch all the knobs for the hobs are off and the oven bit too

Oh and i installed a carbon monoxide detector

Me too and we dont have anything gas in the house

I installed one too but we have gas and an open fire. It went off the other week and scared the shit outta me! Glad i had it, they think it was due to the fire and he amount of time it was going with no fresh air comming into the room x

mine actually speaks we tsted it once and OMG its loud!

...and her voice is annoying. "warning warning, carbon dioxide detected, warning warning!"

and if it even gets the slightest wiff of smoke a man stats screaming "FIRE FIRE! get out now. FIRE FIRE!"

we didnt know it talked when we got it!

Ours sounds a super loud alarm, iv still got ringing in my ears!!

 

[going_crazy]

lyssa is 2 and she's still on an angelcare monitor- she has a heart condition though which has made me considerably more paranoid x

^^ this.

I don't go round checking windows or anything though and I only go into their room once just before I go to bed (unless I'm needed of course!)

If you can't face getting rid of the monitor, then don't just yet, it's not hurting anyone. If you think you need to calm down when doing your "checks" then maybe ask your OH to do a couple of checks for you, then when the time is right get him to decide when to stop IYKWIM?

xx