Am I ready to adopt

[Monkey78]

Hi Ive been reading a few of your posts which are really helpful. A little bit about myself. myself and dh been ttc 5yrs. Had 2 failed IVF attempts, last one June 2012. Only other option was egg donation, which we really not sure we can go through with emotionally. We had 3 bereavements in between all this, one of which was very horrific and we then had to attend my sisters murder trial last August. So my emotions have been so mixed up from day to day. Anyway, we finally decided to go down the adoption route, which we had been talking about for a long time. So in Jan 2013 I made the call to our LA and they have sent the application pack. But now I feel so emotional all the time, my sis in law (who is 46) is now pregnant and I feel so upset all the time. Should we hold off for a bit before going through with all this do you think? DH thinks we should as he feels the same. Not sure where to turn, who to talk to, and what to cry about ! xxxx

 

[Lolly1985]

Hi Monkey

My goodness I am so so sorry that you have had such a traumatic time. Sending you all my love and thoughts to get through all this

In all honesty the journey down the adoption road is very emotional and while we all have lots going on in our lives, I would advise you to maybe take some time with your hubby to get yourself a little stronger so that you are able to deal with all that is thrown at you. Have you thought about some counselling, or have you had some? SWs and agencies will expect you to be able to talk openly about what has happened, and how you have dealt and moved forward. they might question how the grief has altered the family dynamics, what you have learned from it all etc. It will be very difficult for you I am sure so you need to be able to cope with that. Of course tears are ok, I have cried during sessions with my SW on three seperate occassions. It really does depend whether you are ready for the level of questioning, intrusion and committment to this process at this time.

Why not ask if your LA have an open day/evening that you could attend for more info. Also look around, there will be other agencies in your area, so see which is best suited. this means you are still looking into adoption, but are removing some of the pressure to start the process asap.

Good luck with your decision, only you and DH will know when the time is right xxxxx

 

[Loski83]

Agree with what lolly says make sure you and your husband are strong and able to support each other through the tough times. Visit some agencies or phone them get your name out there then when you do decide they will know that you have been interested for a while.

 

[Monkey78]

Thank you Loski and lolli for both your helpful replies, it's lovely to talk to you both. Loski I read your journey, what a lovely ending you have had. Lolli how far are you now on your journey? I will take your advice and book in for an open evening, that will be a start for us. I worry because I am 44 and I don't want to leave things too long as I know it's a long journey ahead of us. And i dont want to be too old to enjoy life as a new family Xx

 

[Lolly1985]

Hi Monkey

I think that is great that you are thinking of looking into some open evenings You may even have the opportunity to briefly discuss some of your concerns with a SW as some offer 1:1 chats if you hang around at the end. Keep us posted!

We have completed prep, and have had 7 home study sessions. SW thinks about 2 more, and she is starting to write our PAR which is fab. We are ahead of the game (so she says!) as we are not sue at panel until June, but she is hoping we may make Mays approval panel if things continue to go well. Keep your fingers crossed!!

Keep in touch won't you, and maybe come and join us on the Adoption Journey thread Loski started if you feel ready.