And so I find myself here!

[bambino156]

I don't really know quite where to start, I feel a bit silly and very selfish in how I'm feeling atm. We already have a beautiful 2.5 year old daughter and we found out today that we are now expecting a little boy. I didn't expect to feel this way, but I'm pretty gutted tbh. When I was expecting dd I actually quite liked the idea of having a boy, I would've been very happy, we didn't know what we were having so when dd popped out we were equally pleased. Having had 2.5 wonderful years with dd I've come to realise I love having a little girl, it's just everything about it. I really had my heart set on having another girl, a little sister for dd. So today when the sonographer said it looks like a little boy, my first reaction was "oh a little boy!" Now it has started to sink in I'm feeling allsorts of emotions, mostly negative ones. I just don't know how to get over this, how will I know what to do with a little boy? I don't have any boys names that I like. I don't like anything boyish, boys toys, boys clothes- they're all so dull and boring. Will I love him, even though deep down I wanted another girl?
I feel bad for feeling this way, very self indulgent, there are many people that would love to just have a baby regardless of gender, but whom cant, and here I am complaining. I know in my heart that gender shouldn't matter, as long as he's healthy, but I can't get my head around it.
Any help, advice or tales of similar feelings would be much appreciated. Thanks x

 

[ILoveYouZandT]

I'm not quite sure what to say. I guess first off, you don't have to know much about a boy to be an amazing mother TO a boy.

I kind of get it. I'm expecting my first girl after two boys. I myself am mostly a Tomboy. I look around at the girls clothes and wonder how to use some of the pieces. I'm used to t-shirts and jeans for my boys! And this time around I was EXTREMELY DESPERATE for a little girl!

But when you see that little person, YOUR new little person... You just love them. And you just know what to do. You will come to enjoy the same things he does, and everything he does will be so adorable. My 2 1/2 year old is the cutest bloody thing! I can't even look at him without a huge smile on my face because of how silly he is. And he was the one I REALLY wanted to be a girl. I'm so happy he wasn't.

Your daughter and her little brother will be best little buddies. And don't think just because he's a boy he can't play with dolls or have tea parties. Because he can. Just the same as your little girl will play cars and dinosaurs with your son.

 

[mrsholmes]

I really wanted a girl on my first and was over the moon when I was told it was! However they got it wrong and it was a boy! BUT I love him sooooo much he's amazing I agree clothes are boring but boys toys are so much more exciting! U will love him I'm sure!

 

[bambino156]

I really wanted a girl on my first and was over the moon when I was told it was! However they got it wrong and it was a boy! BUT I love him sooooo much he's amazing I agree clothes are boring but boys toys are so much more exciting! U will love him I'm sure!

Woah that must of been such a shock! Had you already bought lots of girls things? Xx

 

[Macmad]

I was in the same position as you only a week or so ago. I've got a gorgeous little girl and was 100% sure I was having another girl and that is all I wanted. When I found out it was a boy I too was gutted. I even cried over it and felt the same way as you. I couldn't understand my feelings and was so annoyed with myself for feeling like this. I have to say that I'm slowly coming to terms with it. I don't feel as strongly as I did. You will love your little boy just as much as your little girl when the time comes. It's hard when you had your heart set on another girl. Give it time xx

 

[Dawnlouise30]

i really wanted a girl when i was pregnant and we found out at our 20 week scan that he was a boy. Like you i had no boys names, i also felt that i would not know how to look after a boy, i felt boys were not as cute.... i really did feel lots of negative emotions and thoughts. as time passed and i started to buy blue things i started to come round a little, but still pined for that 'girl' that was in my head..... well fast forward and DS is now 9 weeks old and the most amazingly, adorable little boy i have met (of course i am biased). I now feel bad for feeling negativley in the first place but i acknowledge that it was a valid reaction at the time.
I am sure in time you will feel differently about the news your having a boy.

 

[Quartz]

I was the same and even though part of me knew it would be a boy at the 20 week scan I hoped DS would be a girl. At the time I felt the same way as you but over time I realised that part of it was that DD was growing up and it happened at the same time as we were stopping going to her activities or she was grown up enough to do them herself and she was starting pre school and I was just as much pining for her as I was for the fact that DS was not a girl.
Once he was born I realised for me at least in someways it was easier him being a boy as he could be him without comparison to DD. Also seeing OH with him made me realise how nice it was for him to have a son as well.
My main fear was that I did not feel any connection to my friends sons in the same way I did friends who had daughters but with mine it was completely different and I would not change him at all

 

[ladykara]

Today we were told it may be a boy and like you we wanted two girls, although I think my husband was more disappointed than me. I'm more worried about them not playing or growing up together like I did with my sister.

The strange thing is, so many would love one of each... I'm just really girly and boys stuff just bores me. But ILOVEYOU really helped me with what she said, my daughter will have the choice of playing with cars while my son can also play with dolls... I also will get choice of boys and girls clothes. Just hope my husband starts to see it this way x

 

[gk1701]

I don't know yet what I'm having but I understand how you feel. I really want another girl. I don't know what I'll do if I find out its not going to happen. It sounds selfish and ungrateful but I just don't feel like I can parent a little boy. OH and I are having problems and I definitely don't think I can bring up a boy alone.

 

[bambino156]

Thank you so much for all the support ladies, it really means a lot and it's very reassuring to know I'm not alone

When dh got home from work on the day of our scan he could tell something was up, so I told him how I was feeling and I had a good cry. It did help to let it all out, even though I felt silly for feeling the way I did. He reassured me and said that he knows I will love our baby no matter what and that he was really pleased to be having a little boy. He also pointed out how lucky we were to have one of each, a lot of people strive for that.

Now I've had a week for things to sink in, I'm starting to feel more positive about my little boy. He's really started to wriggle around in there which is nice, I feel I'm starting to connect with him. Dh and I have discussed some names, we have a couple in mind, but I never realised there are so few boy names that I actually like, lol! I've also started to buy a few bits for him, some sleepsuits and a gorgeous bundler. Don't know if anyone else has found this but, imo, its so hard to find nice clothes for a boy! I like bright colours and funky prints, but so much of the clothing for boys is just pale blue, grey, green, yuck! But I've searched hard and there is nice stuff out there, its just more expensive and takes abit of searching!