Annoyed at people telling me I'll get an epidural!

[MindUtopia]

I think it's annoying for anyone to think they know your needs and preferences better than you do, even when they think they've 'done it before'. I had a completely natural birth for my first baby - a home birth actually - not even gas and air (it was there, but never needed it and never asked for it). I didn't even use a birth pool for pain relief. Just a TENS, lots of walking around and up and down my stairs, and I practiced natal hypnotherapy. It was fantastic. Birth IS intense and it's hard work, but I didn't find it overly or unmanageably painful (I think the fact I practiced hypnotherapy to prepare was really key and I highly recommend it!). It's not the kind of pain like when you break a bone or have a horrible injury. It's sorta like the discomfort when you have a bad stomach bug and have to do a lot of uncomfortable pooing and it's tiring on your muscles. But it wasn't so painful that I would have wanted half my body to be numb. In fact, being able to be upright and walk around was awesome. I think it's silly when people think that just because you're a FTM that you don't know what you're capable of and that you don't know your body. I loved having a natural birth and I'm actually looking forward to doing it again in a few years. Just ignore them and trust yourself. You know YOU better than they do.

 

[BunnyN]

Another thing about not having an epidural that I never really thought about until I went through it is how much you can feel besides the pain. I found it utterly amazing to feel the whole process of the birth. I could feel everything! That might sound like a bad thing but for me at least it wasn't. It's amazing to feel the labour progress and the baby as it's being born. I was on a total high afterward and couldn't wait to go through the whole thing again! It was hard work and of course it was painful but for me the pain was only part of the experience, and not the biggest part. Like anyone I worry about what can go wrong but if I get pregnant again I will actually be looking forward to labour.

 

[tinkerbelle93]

It's silly really because so many people happily manage without an epidural so why do people automatically say you'll definitely need one?! Obviously there is a chance you might change your mind, but there is no reason for anyone to tell you that you'll definitely be having one.

Luckily I never got this during pregnancy, to be honest nobody really asked me about what I was hoping or expecting. However, if you find it annoying, I just wouldn't discuss your plans with anyone. It's really nobody's business I'd just say something along the lines of 'I'm going to just wait and see' if anyone asks anything which will spare the comments!

 

[BunnyN]

It's silly really because so many people happily manage without an epidural so why do people automatically say you'll definitely need one?! Obviously there is a chance you might change your mind, but there is no reason for anyone to tell you that you'll definitely be having one.

Luckily I never got this during pregnancy, to be honest nobody really asked me about what I was hoping or expecting. However, if you find it annoying, I just wouldn't discuss your plans with anyone. It's really nobody's business I'd just say something along the lines of 'I'm going to just wait and see' if anyone asks anything which will spare the comments!

I think epidurals are not as overused in the uk as in some countries. Some places it's just kind of assumed you'll have one unless you make a big deal about not wanting it.

 

[tinkerbelle93]

It's silly really because so many people happily manage without an epidural so why do people automatically say you'll definitely need one?! Obviously there is a chance you might change your mind, but there is no reason for anyone to tell you that you'll definitely be having one.

Luckily I never got this during pregnancy, to be honest nobody really asked me about what I was hoping or expecting. However, if you find it annoying, I just wouldn't discuss your plans with anyone. It's really nobody's business I'd just say something along the lines of 'I'm going to just wait and see' if anyone asks anything which will spare the comments!

I think epidurals are not as overused in the uk as in some countries. Some places it's just kind of assumed you'll have one unless you make a big deal about not wanting it.

I've never really thought about that, am I right in saying the USA don't really offer gas and air either? So it's kind of one way or the other with no medium. I have no idea what the stats for epidurals are here in the UK, but from the women I know who have given birth it seems to be a 50/50 divide.

 

[Shadowy Lady]

here in Canada we don't have gas and air either. So either you get an epidural or you use a tub/shower or a ball or something. Epidural usage rate here is not as high as the US but def most ppl go the epidural route.

It is common for ppl to say those of us who aren't getting an epi "are being martyrs" which is really irritating to hear. It's so odd to see women see other women's birth as being their businesses and offering non-constructive criticism. When I was pregnant, I was even told by some men that I would be screaming for an epiural :/ ya because they have given birth!

 

[LizChase]

Yeah, we don't get gas and air in US, and I'm pretty sure they won't do any kind of medicated pain relief other than an epidural because they don't want the baby exposed to it. Not sure on that though. But it's very uncommon in the US for someone to NOT get one, it's pretty much expected you will. And even if you say no, I've heard the nurses and doctors don't really believe you and ask you over and over. Granted, this is my first so all that I just said is what I've heard, not what I've experienced.

 

[messica]

I was thinking about this last night.....I do wonder if the differences come about because of what's available health care wise.

I've heard many women on the board say they don't have access to the care they want or even need on a NHS. They say they often don't get the doctors, monitoring and testing they need and want, and even on this thread have said epidurals weren't even available where they delivered.

How is removing choices empowering a woman? Or supporting her?

If you remove the choice from the mother from country to country, of course the numbers will be different from country to country.

In the US you do have a choice about everything regarding your care. You are entitled to be educated about your care, tests and all procedures. No one tells you no, and if you don't like what one facility has to offer you simply go to another. As long as you're aware that it's your personal responsibility to advocate for yourself, you have complete control over your birthing experience.


I do think that if women in other countries had more say about their own care, and were not just left with whatever their governing forces told them was available, the numbers would be far more comparable. It does seem NHS is sort of fear mongering in many ways. Of course they're going to say epi's are incredibly dangerous, advise against them and in many cases not even offer them.....but is that because they really are dangerous and unnecessary or simply because they're just trying to save a buck at your expense? They have every reason to put incorrect information out there, which is exactly why I prefer a privatized system. How can you trust the word of someone who has a vested interest in NOT providing you care if they don't have to?


Again, it's of no consequence to me what other women do. It bothers me immensely however when others tout a lack of choice as support for a "natural" delivery. That's not support, that's control and suppression. Very young women in third world countries are often forced to deliver at home with no prenatal care and in filthy conditions, that doesn't mean anyone is supporting her through a natural pregnancy and birth.....it means she simply didn't have a choice. True support is offering every option, and being there for a woman no matter what she chooses



As an aside, I think it's even weirder when women try to tell others that labor doesn't hurt. Or that it hurts but it's not that bad. If that was your personal experience, great. But pain tolerances vary greatly from human being to human being. Having a higher pain tolerance is an awesome gift, but not one that should be thrown in the face of others who don't have the same advantage. People stabbed, shot and diseased can slide through with basic care too, that doesn't mean it should become the standard for all.

 

[messica]

Yeah, we don't get gas and air in US, and I'm pretty sure they won't do any kind of medicated pain relief other than an epidural because they don't want the baby exposed to it. Not sure on that though. But it's very uncommon in the US for someone to NOT get one, it's pretty much expected you will. And even if you say no, I've heard the nurses and doctors don't really believe you and ask you over and over. Granted, this is my first so all that I just said is what I've heard, not what I've experienced.

Hospital in my area 10 and 11 years ago when I delivered really pushed personal advocacy and certainly do the same where I'm at now too.

Yes, many women get epi's but that's because it doesn't make sense for most not to now days with how safe they've become.

The childbirth classes I took sponsored by my delivering hospital really pushed for little to no intervention. They took the time to really educate moms to be on ALL the options, but emphasized "natural" as best. I definitely felt pressure to expose my birthing child to as little as possible, but I was grateful to be able to go into L&D completely aware of all that was available to me


I didn't have gas or air that I'm aware of. I have no idea what it is or what it does for a person. I did get an injection of "loopy juice" (I want to call it Stadol?) through my IV that made me want to throw up and eventually go for the epi, and just a smidge of oxygen when my uterus wasn't clamping down after birth but that's it.

My labor nurse and midwife did disclose that the vast majority of women do end up getting epidurals, but that was only brought up after I'd made my decision to move forward and to calm my nerves about the safety of them after the class instructor showed me videos of lethargic newborns. It definitely helped to hear that there were so sooooo many women who utilized them, and that the vast majority of mothers and babies suffered no complications as a result. It truly made sense, that if one goes so far as to say *MOST* women in the US have them, then they've got to be safe or it wouldn't be such common practice.

 

[BunnyN]

I was thinking about this last night.....I do wonder if the differences come about because of what's available health care wise.

I've heard many women on the board say they don't have access to the care they want or even need on a NHS. They say they often don't get the doctors, monitoring and testing they need and want, and even on this thread have said epidurals weren't even available where they delivered.

How is removing choices empowering a woman? Or supporting her?

If you remove the choice from the mother from country to country, of course the numbers will be different from country to country.

In the US you do have a choice about everything regarding your care. You are entitled to be educated about your care, tests and all procedures. No one tells you no, and if you don't like what one facility has to offer you simply go to another. As long as you're aware that it's your personal responsibility to advocate for yourself, you have complete control over your birthing experience.


I do think that if women in other countries had more say about their own care, and were not just left with whatever their governing forces told them was available, the numbers would be far more comparable. It does seem NHS is sort of fear mongering in many ways. Of course they're going to say epi's are incredibly dangerous, advise against them and in many cases not even offer them.....but is that because they really are dangerous and unnecessary or simply because they're just trying to save a buck at your expense? They have every reason to put incorrect information out there, which is exactly why I prefer a privatized system. How can you trust the word of someone who has a vested interest in NOT providing you care if they don't have to?


Again, it's of no consequence to me what other women do. It bothers me immensely however when others tout a lack of choice as support for a "natural" delivery. That's not support, that's control and suppression. Very young women in third world countries are often forced to deliver at home with no prenatal care and in filthy conditions, that doesn't mean anyone is supporting her through a natural pregnancy and birth.....it means she simply didn't have a choice. True support is offering every option, and being there for a woman no matter what she chooses

As an aside, I think it's even weirder when women try to tell others that labor doesn't hurt. Or that it hurts but it's not that bad. If that was your personal experience, great. But pain tolerances vary greatly from human being to human being. Having a higher pain tolerance is an awesome gift, but not one that should be thrown in the face of others who don't have the same advantage. People stabbed, shot and diseased can slide through with basic care too, that doesn't mean it should become the standard for all.

I do think it's very wrong to make a woman feel like she 'not doing it right' if she is in a lot of pain or finds it hard cope with. We are all are different. Our minds, bodies, babies and labour's are all different. I agree options should be available to everyone. Ideally women everywhere should have options available and it is sad when proper care is not available. It also sad when a woman is not supported in her choices. Having to fight to for your wishes against the 'better' judgement of medical staff while going through labour isn't really much of a choice either. Having the right to choose doesn't always mean a lot when you are being put under an extreme amount of pressure. I had a wonderful birth experience but I had to go against the opinion of the medical profession and society where I live to get it. I am not a person who likes go against convention or make a fuss so were hard choices for me to make. In the end we were very happy with our choices we made but it makes me sad that other women often do not even realise that they do have choices.

In the US medical insurance can also complicate things. Many women feel they have no choice but to go against their birth plans in fear of loosing their insurance coverage.

 

[tinkerbelle93]

here in Canada we don't have gas and air either. So either you get an epidural or you use a tub/shower or a ball or something. Epidural usage rate here is not as high as the US but def most ppl go the epidural route.

It is common for ppl to say those of us who aren't getting an epi "are being martyrs" which is really irritating to hear. It's so odd to see women see other women's birth as being their businesses and offering non-constructive criticism. When I was pregnant, I was even told by some men that I would be screaming for an epiural :/ ya because they have given birth!

Why is there no option of gas and air in some countries? Most of the women I know who didn't have epidurals found the gas and air an essential to get through labour pains. I laboured without an epidural until 8cm (when I needed emergency forceps therefore spinal block) and would have asked for one much sooner if it wasn't for the gas and air taking the edge off the pain. Gas and air is pretty low-risk for mother and baby isn't it as well?

 

[tinkerbelle93]

I was thinking about this last night.....I do wonder if the differences come about because of what's available health care wise.

I've heard many women on the board say they don't have access to the care they want or even need on a NHS. They say they often don't get the doctors, monitoring and testing they need and want, and even on this thread have said epidurals weren't even available where they delivered.

How is removing choices empowering a woman? Or supporting her?

If you remove the choice from the mother from country to country, of course the numbers will be different from country to country.

In the US you do have a choice about everything regarding your care. You are entitled to be educated about your care, tests and all procedures. No one tells you no, and if you don't like what one facility has to offer you simply go to another. As long as you're aware that it's your personal responsibility to advocate for yourself, you have complete control over your birthing experience.


I do think that if women in other countries had more say about their own care, and were not just left with whatever their governing forces told them was available, the numbers would be far more comparable. It does seem NHS is sort of fear mongering in many ways. Of course they're going to say epi's are incredibly dangerous, advise against them and in many cases not even offer them.....but is that because they really are dangerous and unnecessary or simply because they're just trying to save a buck at your expense? They have every reason to put incorrect information out there, which is exactly why I prefer a privatized system. How can you trust the word of someone who has a vested interest in NOT providing you care if they don't have to?

I'm not sure about this, I gave birth in the UK under the NHS and was never encouraged at any point to not have an epidural or told anything negative about them. In fact at my midwife appointment during pregnancy I mentioned I have a low pain threshold and the midwife advised having one at 3cm to cope better. The choice was also there for me throughout labour to have one, and everyone I know who wanted an epidural had no problem at all requesting one and having it. As far as I'm aware epidurals are always available in NHS hospitals, they're only unavailable if the mother has chosen to birth in a birth centre or have a home-birth, in which case she's made that choice beforehand.

 

[messica]

I do think it's very wrong to make a woman feel like she 'not doing it right' if she is in a lot of pain or finds it hard cope with. We are all are different. Our minds, bodies, babies and labour's are all different. I agree options should be available to everyone. Ideally women everywhere should have options available and it is sad when proper care is not available. It also sad when a woman is not supported in her choices. Having to fight to for your wishes against the 'better' judgement of medical staff while going through labour isn't really much of a choice either. Having the right to choose doesn't always mean a lot when you are being put under an extreme amount of pressure. I had a wonderful birth experience but I had to go against the opinion of the medical profession and society where I live to get it. I am not a person who likes go against convention or make a fuss so were hard choices for me to make. In the end we were very happy with our choices we made but it makes me sad that other women often do not even realise that they do have choices.

Completely agree!

In the US medical insurance can also complicate things. Many women feel they have no choice but to go against their birth plans in fear of loosing their insurance coverage.

See, I'm not sure where some of these misconceptions like the above come from.

A birth plan is merely the choices a woman has made either on her own or with the help of her doctor or midwife, and she's entitled to change her mind at any point in the process. A private insurance company or even subsidized care has nothing to do with what is in a woman's birth plan, those choices are entirely her decision.

Insurance may or may not choose to offer coverage for those choices or changes, but they will never drop a woman simply because of what she wants to do if that makes more sense.

 

[Shadowy Lady]

here in Canada we don't have gas and air either. So either you get an epidural or you use a tub/shower or a ball or something. Epidural usage rate here is not as high as the US but def most ppl go the epidural route.

It is common for ppl to say those of us who aren't getting an epi "are being martyrs" which is really irritating to hear. It's so odd to see women see other women's birth as being their businesses and offering non-constructive criticism. When I was pregnant, I was even told by some men that I would be screaming for an epiural :/ ya because they have given birth!

Why is there no option of gas and air in some countries? Most of the women I know who didn't have epidurals found the gas and air an essential to get through labour pains. I laboured without an epidural until 8cm (when I needed emergency forceps therefore spinal block) and would have asked for one much sooner if it wasn't for the gas and air taking the edge off the pain. Gas and air is pretty low-risk for mother and baby isn't it as well?

I honestly have no idea! My midwife was from the UK actually and only moved to Canada 4 years ago; she has 4 kids and said that she found gas and air very helpful with all four. I didn't have the option here (none of the hospitals in my city offer gas and air actually) so I used the birthing ball first and then jumped in the tub. I was in there until it was time to push and then I moved to dry land. I did find water helpful though.

You will be surprised but we are also not allowed to "push" in water here either. At least that's how it is at the hospitals in Ontario. It is different if you were giving birth at home though...

 

[BunnyN]

In the US medical insurance can also complicate things. Many women feel they have no choice but to go against their birth plans in fear of loosing their insurance coverage.

See, I'm not sure where some of these misconceptions like the above come from.

A birth plan is merely the choices a woman has made either on her own or with the help of her doctor or midwife, and she's entitled to change her mind at any point in the process. A private insurance company or even subsidized care has nothing to do with what is in a woman's birth plan, those choices are entirely her decision.

Insurance may or may not choose to offer coverage for those choices or changes, but they will never drop a woman simply because of what she wants to do if that makes more sense.

I don't mean that insurance can make you do something against your will but if a doctor says you are going against their advice then your insurance company can potentially refuse to cover your treatment. If your doctor believes it's in your best interest to be induced and strapped to a monitor and drip while lying on your back many women will end up doing it even if they don't agree if it's the best thing to do and under such conditions the chances of getting an epidural increase greatly. Of course you could go to another care provider, hire an independent MW etc but when faced with this during or just before labour many women don't feel they have a choice.

Under the NHS system in the UK they must continue to provide treatment even if you refuse to follow their advice. They even have to provide support for a HB if thats what you want. Of course no system is perfect but it can lead to differences in the choices women have or feel they have.

 

[messica]

I don't mean that insurance can make you do something against your will but if a doctor says you are going against their advice then your insurance company can potentially refuse to cover your treatment. If your doctor believes it's in your best interest to be induced and strapped to a monitor and drip while lying on your back many women will end up doing it even if they don't agree if it's the best thing to do and under such conditions the chances of getting an epidural increase greatly. Of course you could go to another care provider, hire an independent MW etc but when faced with this during or just before labour many women don't feel they have a choice.

Under the NHS system in the UK they must continue to provide treatment even if you refuse to follow their advice. They even have to provide support for a HB if thats what you want. Of course no system is perfect but it can lead to differences in the choices women have or feel they have.

I'm not sure what an HB? You might have to explain that acronym to me because I'm still learning!

Aside from that, I'm also not sure why you have the impression that that's the way things are in the US my dear.

Doctors don't discuss treatment plans with insurance companies. So whether you follow their advice or not is moot to whoever is carrying your policy.

What insurance covers doesn't have anything to do with what a doctor recommends. Coverage is based entirely on what your plan details. So for example, our private insurance covers infertility diagnostics, but not treatment. If my RE says I don't need or shouldn't have a particular test and I want it anyway my insurance carrier is still going to provide coverage for it regardless. Prime example, our RE doesn't think we need to have the test for anti-sperm antibodies. We want it anyway, and are having it done this Friday. Insurance will absolutely cover it under the diagnostics umbrella even though the doctor doesn't agree that it's necessary. On the flip side of that, that RE has said we have to proceed with ICSI/IVF to have a baby and we're moving forward with that, just because it's his professional opinion that this is our only option doesn't mean insurance has to cover it.

Further, if we manage to fall pregnant via ICSI/IVF, my doc recommends a c section for delivery and I don't want it, that has nothing to do with whether or not my insurance company will cover a different kind of delivery. They don't have the right to deny me midwife services if midwife services are covered in my plan. The doctors recommendations do not dictate my coverage. My coverage is the only thing that dictates my coverage if that makes sense. The two have nothing to do with one another.

You may be thinking of the differences between HMO and PPO? HMO you have a primary provider within the insurance company's network and you have to get referrals for certain services before they'll cover them, but you're still free to go where you want, see who you want and for what you want, you just may end up paying (more) out of pocket for the option if you want to skip the necessary steps. Many people choose PPO coverage because it affords you all the same options, but with less hoops to jump through to get the services you want.

Most providers are required to provide reasonable treatment even if a patient has no coverage at all and no ability to pay (by reasonable treatment that obviously excludes things like breast implants and unjustifiable tests on a whim lol).


(Sorry to take your thread off topic OP! Just wanted to clarify as there seems to be a bunch of misinformation about the US health care system on this board! )

 

[messica]

I was thinking about this last night.....I do wonder if the differences come about because of what's available health care wise.

I've heard many women on the board say they don't have access to the care they want or even need on a NHS. They say they often don't get the doctors, monitoring and testing they need and want, and even on this thread have said epidurals weren't even available where they delivered.

How is removing choices empowering a woman? Or supporting her?

If you remove the choice from the mother from country to country, of course the numbers will be different from country to country.

In the US you do have a choice about everything regarding your care. You are entitled to be educated about your care, tests and all procedures. No one tells you no, and if you don't like what one facility has to offer you simply go to another. As long as you're aware that it's your personal responsibility to advocate for yourself, you have complete control over your birthing experience.


I do think that if women in other countries had more say about their own care, and were not just left with whatever their governing forces told them was available, the numbers would be far more comparable. It does seem NHS is sort of fear mongering in many ways. Of course they're going to say epi's are incredibly dangerous, advise against them and in many cases not even offer them.....but is that because they really are dangerous and unnecessary or simply because they're just trying to save a buck at your expense? They have every reason to put incorrect information out there, which is exactly why I prefer a privatized system. How can you trust the word of someone who has a vested interest in NOT providing you care if they don't have to?

I'm not sure about this, I gave birth in the UK under the NHS and was never encouraged at any point to not have an epidural or told anything negative about them. In fact at my midwife appointment during pregnancy I mentioned I have a low pain threshold and the midwife advised having one at 3cm to cope better. The choice was also there for me throughout labour to have one, and everyone I know who wanted an epidural had no problem at all requesting one and having it. As far as I'm aware epidurals are always available in NHS hospitals, they're only unavailable if the mother has chosen to birth in a birth centre or have a home-birth, in which case she's made that choice beforehand.

This is AWESOME to hear. It just differs greatly from so much of what I've read on this board you know?

So many women here will say they delivered in hospital where epi's aren't even offered. I've read it on this board countless times. Not only that it wasn't available, but often times that even if it is, their delivering docs refused to allow them access to it. That they labored in rooms with multiple women, with little to no privacy, no pain relief, sometimes without their partners even being allowed to be with them and they were just fine so everyone else should be too. Well of course it usually ends up being fine because there really isn't a choice to be anything but under those circumstances. If it's all you have access to it just is what it is and you make do regardless. That doesn't mean that should be the gold standard for all women everywhere though imo. Not that it's a bad route to take if the woman is satisfied with her care and happy with her birthing experience, I just wish all had access to the choices you describe above.

Birthing options aside I've also read far too many threads where women are denied simply blood tests to confirm pregnancy or miscarriage, scans when they're scared to death something is wrong, adequate pre-natal care that has literally resulted in the deaths of babies in womb.....I'm glad many are happy with the care they have but it would scare me to death to have a baby in the UK based on what I've heard here.

I do hope it's one of those situations where those situations are not the standard and my view is simply skewed based on extreme circumstances voiced here. I am open minded enough to believe that could be the case.

 

[moomin_troll]

I told people with my first I didn't want one, I was told the same or called a crazy bitch....well I didn't have one and then had my second boy at home with no pain relief at all and that was such an easy birth. Of course it hurt like hell, but I'd rather be free to move around, let my body and gravity do it all for me then be on my back, which is how I had my first.

Nothing at all wrong with a woman choosing whatever, it's not a competition. People just need to show some respect for ur choices and leave their opinions at that...unless ur asking

 

[BunnyN]

I'm not sure what an HB? You might have to explain that acronym to me because I'm still learning!

Aside from that, I'm also not sure why you have the impression that that's the way things are in the US my dear.

Doctors don't discuss treatment plans with insurance companies. So whether you follow their advice or not is moot to whoever is carrying your policy.

What insurance covers doesn't have anything to do with what a doctor recommends. Coverage is based entirely on what your plan details. So for example, our private insurance covers infertility diagnostics, but not treatment. If my RE says I don't need or shouldn't have a particular test and I want it anyway my insurance carrier is still going to provide coverage for it regardless. Prime example, our RE doesn't think we need to have the test for anti-sperm antibodies. We want it anyway, and are having it done this Friday. Insurance will absolutely cover it under the diagnostics umbrella even though the doctor doesn't agree that it's necessary. On the flip side of that, that RE has said we have to proceed with ICSI/IVF to have a baby and we're moving forward with that, just because it's his professional opinion that this is our only option doesn't mean insurance has to cover it.

Further, if we manage to fall pregnant via ICSI/IVF, my doc recommends a c section for delivery and I don't want it, that has nothing to do with whether or not my insurance company will cover a different kind of delivery. They don't have the right to deny me midwife services if midwife services are covered in my plan. The doctors recommendations do not dictate my coverage. My coverage is the only thing that dictates my coverage if that makes sense. The two have nothing to do with one another.

You may be thinking of the differences between HMO and PPO? HMO you have a primary provider within the insurance company's network and you have to get referrals for certain services before they'll cover them, but you're still free to go where you want, see who you want and for what you want, you just may end up paying (more) out of pocket for the option if you want to skip the necessary steps. Many people choose PPO coverage because it affords you all the same options, but with less hoops to jump through to get the services you want.

Most providers are required to provide reasonable treatment even if a patient has no coverage at all and no ability to pay (by reasonable treatment that obviously excludes things like breast implants and unjustifiable tests on a whim lol).


(Sorry to take your thread off topic OP! Just wanted to clarify as there seems to be a bunch of misinformation about the US health care system on this board! )

I agree about taking over the OPs thread, sorry I find it an interesting subject, I hope you don't mind.

HB= Home birth, sorry

Please don't think I'm arguing or bad mouthing the American system. Any system has it's pitfalls and I am actually American although I don't live there now. I have also lived in the UK. I think there is a grey area with insurance. Many women are told straight out that they will loose their coverage if they do not follow the doctors advice. For example if the doctor thinks you should be induced and you refuse the doctor can claim that any complications that come after that are caused by refusing to be including things like neonatal care and operations, even if those things should be covered. I have read dozens of accounts on the internet and know women in real life that are told this. Legally it may not be that simple but when being told by both their doctors and their insurance companies that they will not be covered if they refuse induction, or another intervention it can be too intimidating and confusing to go against. If you have specific information about the law in this area I'm sure lots of women would find it interesting, it would be a good topic for a thread.

Birthing options aside I've also read far too many threads where women are denied simply blood tests to confirm pregnancy or miscarriage, scans when they're scared to death something is wrong, adequate pre-natal care that has literally resulted in the deaths of babies in womb.....I'm glad many are happy with the care they have but it would scare me to death to have a baby in the UK based on what I've heard here.

I do hope it's one of those situations where those situations are not the standard and my view is simply skewed based on extreme circumstances voiced here. I am open minded enough to believe that could be the case.

It is really scary to go through a miscarriage and it is awful when proper support is not given but while a scan, blood test etc might help you know what is going on in most cases unlikely to save the pregnancy. Doctors tend to give priority to what can actually make a difference to the outcome. When you are going through an early mc that is rather a brutal attitude but honestly there is usually little a doctor can do, no matter what care you recieve.

 

[Alyssa Drough]

The only time I thought 'I can't do this give me all the drugs' was, as it turned out, when I was about 8cm dilated and going through transition.

Before I had a baby I thought the whole 'breathe!' thing you see on TV just seemed stupid - but it's really not. It totally works if you can focus properly.

Hopefully you'll get the chance to be smug next time you talk to these people!