Another dreaded 9 months...

[IrishTwins]

Preface by saying I am happy that I am expecting again - because well, if dd got through diapers I don't think I'd ever want to be pregnant again and go through the stages again.

I'm selfish!! I want to be in good shape and feel "pretty" and look in the mirror with some sense of pride.. That being said here goes -

dd is 4.5 months and I am 8-9 weeks pg -

I still have linea nigra from dd. I didn't get this till 8 months with dd - but yep, it's still there.

My bbs are smaller than they were - which was pretty difficult. You know how some women get nice big ones with each pregnancy? Well mine shrivel up - I'm still a B cup but a super small one.

I can't focus on being pregnant - I'm still reliving the labour horrors of dd.

I feel like I've just been pregnant. DUH!! I have..

Still an extra 10 lbs lingering.. Yeah other ppl think it's no big deal, but for me IT IS!!

Buying baby clothes? Ugh -- I just did allllllll of that..

This is a big one - I'm just going down a list from my tired brain...

I SH** myself. Yep ladies, it's true.. I have pp fecal incontinence.. I haven't been to OB about it, I didn't go to 6 week appt.. I don't have a sitter and I have 2 kids all day so I have NO time for me.. I apparently pulled a muscle or just lost a muscle of some kind during labour and I have minimal control over my bowels - combined with pregnant diarrhea it's been really awesome (sarcasm)..

DH and I don't have sex so you'd wonder how I could have 2 babies in under a year.. DH and I haven't dtd since the ONE time we dtd and got pregnant this time around.. So yeah twice in 4.5 months.. Super awesome... (sarcasm again)

Tired is the name of the game.. I may no longer be tired in ummm, 2017??

Yep these are all first world problems - I know this.. Again, I am happy it's now because I wouldn't want to try again in 2/3 years..

BTW - Getting fixed as soon as baby#3 arrives. I will find the time for that appt..


Last pg I had goals each trimester - if I could make it to 20 weeks, then 25 then 30 etc.. My new goal is March 2015 - that's about the next time I want to focus on this pg..

Thanks for reading ladies.

Edited to add: I'm sorta tired of being ok.. I feel like I "have to" be ok because I keep things running. DH and I don't talk about how I feel - I'm not the sad type but more bitchy than anything. Even still, I feel like I'm expected to just get on with things all the time and there is NO time for me. DH went back to work a week after dd was born (he was off that week due to injury) and since then it's just me. He helps - he is helpful, but I can't help but want to say "you couldn't do what I do for a day".... Add to stresses, first tri kicking my butt in terms of tiredness - but nope, I'm not supposed to be tired.. fake it till you make it..

 

[Kelx44]

Wow!! Congrats on the pregnancy! Lol I'm sure your suppppper stressed about doing it all again, as your body is still healing from your last pregnancy. I don't have mix too say but I strongly recommend if you have fetal incontinence you must see your doctor too get that corrected before your next delivery because your chances of that being permanent is very likely since you haven't healed yet and already pregnant. I have this as well and my doctor and specialist advised me too wait 2 years before having another one or I was doomed! Geez hey! Oh well I suffered enough in not having any more anyways. But good luck with everything.

 

[zorak]

I really feel for you , please please make time for you and see a doctor about the incontinence. These things can get worse if left.

 

[MrsNorthman]

Oh wow congrats, I feel for ya but as everyone else said get your problems sorted out asap, don't delay it any longer!!!!

I have 18 months between my two and tbh its not all that bad plus your doing it all in one go, not sure if I would have wanted to go again when ds was older as I dont think I would have liked going back to the baby stages again however I just got through it this time and now she is 11 months old and it really does come together!! Its tough going but not that much more work than one baby!!

I decided I would be back to my pp weight when it was time to go back to work which was when she was 6 months and I did, I just wanted those 6 months to not have to worry about eating healthy and all that jazz but it didn't take long to lose the weight and your body starts to feel like yours again, you will get there and I can tell you this much the time will go so fast you wont have much time to worry about it all!!

I am glad I am done now and I am sort of back to me again, but I still haven't had a full nights sleep since he was born, 2.5 years ago as he started to sleep through when she was born and she now still wakes for 2 night feeds most nights !!

I also get up at 6.15 for work mon-fri and I don't get back till 6 in the evenings (3 hour commute) so to say I am exhausted is an under statement but you know I still just about function every day and have resigned myself to this for another few months at least, plenty of tea & chocolate!!

good luck xxx