Anxiety/Depression support thread

[topsy]

^^thats really good new hun so glad you are feeling better xxx

 

[Rhio92]

Thanks Topsy for pointing this out to me

I'm Rhiannon, I'm 22, and 34 weeks pregnant. I'm currently suffering from depression and anxiety, plus possibly PTSD. I've had depression and anxiety for ages, but since after Christmas, it has flared up so so so badly. I'm under the perinatal psychiatric team.

On monday (after a very good normal day), I ended up very unwell. I became anxious, and hallucinated shadow creatures that I didn't know if they could hurt me or not. It got so bad that OH took me to A+E. From A+E, I was sent to a mother and baby unit miles away from home, where I am currently a patient.

Before being admitted, I knew I needed to be. I could feel myself getting ill at least a week before.

The first 36 hours on the unit were the hardest of my life. I was followed everywhere by a nurse (who were really nice and did their best to be as unobtrusive as possible), had to charge my phone in the office and wasn't allowed to be alone with LO. It was so tough. I cried all the time. Luckily OH was allowed to watch me when he was there, so I used that time to shower and use the loo. The worst part was having my antisickness tablets, rennies and tiger balm taken off me. I have a phobia of being sick, and these are my lifeline!

After that, I was moved onto a different observation band. Now, I get checked on a few times an hour, but can generally move about as I please. It's okay. /not horrible or scary. The unit is nice, I can relax and think I will be able to get better. When I get scared, someone will come and talk to me, or do crafts with me to take my mind off things. It's really okay.

Last night, I came home on leave until Monday. It's so so good to be home, in my own bed, with LO and OH.

But,

I'm feeling very overwhelmed and like I've rushed it. Monday seems a long way away. OH is doing his best, but I honestly feel like I've made a huge mistake. Does that sound stupid?

May see if I can return Sunday instead.

If anyone gets to the point where they need to be hospitalised, please don't worry. It's really okay Hoping to get to know you all!




On another note, has any been on fluoxetine/prozac? I was on it as a teen and had no side effects, didn't even read the label to look for them. Now, I'm starting it again, amd I'm scared! It says 1/10 have nausea and vomiting. I have a phobia of vomiting! I didn't have side effects in the past, is it likely I'll get them now? Taken my first (so glad I'm t home for the first few), so waiting to feel sick. OH has said it's fine to be the 9/10 who don't get sick, which makes sense, but I'm worried.

 

[pichi]

I'm on flouxatine and I've not even felt slightly nauseous. Like you I hate being sick.


what a rough ride you've been on

 

[topsy]

Hey Riho hun

Like i said before the mother and baby unit helped me hun. it is scary at first i was with someone all the time for the fisrt 2 weeks, but once you are allowed a bit more freedom you can relax a little.

If you are worried hun go back early or just give them a ring sweets say how you are feeling and what they suggest, but understand its nice to be in your own bed

So sorry you have a fear of being sick, like your OH said they have to put the list of side effects on the packet, i cant remember what I was like on prozac sorry. But I am on a depo injection ( anti psychotic and mood stabilizer) and they said sickness was a side effect but honestly I have been fine so really hope you are too.

Please keep posting and let us know how you are hun? take care hun

xx

 

[Rhio92]

Does anyone in here hallucinate? How do you rationlise it? It's been so bad today. I've been up since 4am, it's got better, but now it's flaring up again. The unit want me to go back in tonight but it's too far away, so I have to wait until tomorrow :/

 

[topsy]

I have hallucinations hun they are horrible and scary hun. I try and ground myself as much as I can hold something soft or hard or bumpy or a hot cuppa something to keep you in the here and now as muchas you can I tap my feet on the ground. Dh often lights a candle and gets me to focus on that. It doesn't always work but sometimes helps. Glad you are going back to the unit tomorrow hun xxx

 

[topsy]

Rhio How are you doing, thinking of you. xxxx

 

[Rhio92]

Rhio How are you doing, thinking of you. xxxx

Woken up to find I'm being transferred to a different hospital got no time to prepare, and I'm terrified. Yeah, this one is closer to home, but I've settled into the other one, and I don't cope with changes well. Oh, and if OH asks me 'what's up?' one more time I'll scream

 

[topsy]

Oh hun so sorry you are being transferred after you feel settled where you are. hopefully you will settle into the new place quickly, is it easier for DH to come and see you. I hate being asked whats wrong when its SO hard to explain, HUGS xxxx

 

[Rhio92]

Today has been the day from hell. Unit was like a prison. Literally. Consultant was so rude I refused to stay, I'm home now and feel like hell.

 

[topsy]

Oh hun so sorry the unit was like that I have been in a MH hospital what was the same it horrible and so sorry the consultant was so rude Do you still have the crisis team number to call sweets?take things hour by hour hun xxx

 

[Rhio92]

Oh hun so sorry the unit was like that I have been in a MH hospital what was the same it horrible and so sorry the consultant was so rude Do you still have the crisis team number to call sweets?take things hour by hour hun xxx

Yes, I can still call them if I need to. Taking every minute at a time, it's so hard.




Has anyone else found that they're foul to be around at the moment? My poor OH...

 

[pichi]

I find I am like 2 different people most days. Think I will need to up the meds (on 20mg so low dose) psychology sessions are being organised soon too.


*hugs* to those in need of 1

 

[topsy]

Yep I am so hard to be around snap at anything xxx

 

[pichi]

is it bad of me to feel really selfish for TTC while depressed? It's almost been a year since we started trying for number 3 with one miscarriage in november. this month i really want to try but at the same time i just don't want to now. my head is so conflicting!

 

[Rhio92]

is it bad of me to feel really selfish for TTC while depressed? It's almost been a year since we started trying for number 3 with one miscarriage in november. this month i really want to try but at the same time i just don't want to now. my head is so conflicting!

It's not selfish Imagine if people only TTC when their mental health was perfect, there would be no people left.



Struggling to adjust to being home from hospital

 

[Rhio92]

Oh god, things are getting so bad that OH won't leave me alone for even a second in case I harm myself Told him if things are that bad I'd rather be in hospital but he won't take me to a&e, and the crisis team won't come out.

 

[topsy]

Pichi hun I dont think it`s selfish at all ttc hun you need to do what is right for you sweetheart. xxx

Rhio Hun sorry things are so bad its so bad that the crisis team wont come out to you hun. take it all min by min hun. try and take care. thinking of you xxxx

 

[Rhio92]

Seen my CPN today (finally!) and she's going to set something in place so I can skip A&E if I need to go to hospital, which is good. Feeling a little bit brighter. Setting small craft projects to get me through the next few weeks.

How are you doing, Topsy?

 

[topsy]

hi sweets glad you are seeing your cpn hun and she is sorting some bits out for you hun. i am plodding along thank you just so tired today didnt sleep well last night xxx