Any other single moms by choice?

[drsquid]

There doesnt seem to be a life journeys or any other sort of place for this. I know a few of us were together on trying to conceive but... Thought id put it out there.

I'm 39. Ran out of time to find a partner and have kids so I decided to just do the kids thing.

 

[Jennifurball]

I chose to be a single mum because my relationship was toxic for me, him and Scarlett. We just weren't compatible but somehow lasted 5 years. It hasn't been easy, but it is mostly easier than the abuse I suffered when with him.

I am 30 now and get upset not knowing what lies ahead, whether I could meet someone next week or in 5 years. I probably would like another if I met the right man but I don't want it to be too late for me.

 

[LeoTheLion]

Im broke off my relationship about 3 months ago because our relationship wasnt heathly, lo is 13 months x

 

[Dezireey]

I'm 39 too. My partner and I never intended nor spoke about having kids and I thought at my age it was never going to happen as I also had endo and fibroids. I do think though that if this hadn't happened, I may have very well finished with my partner and tried to go it alone before 40. Im glad I have my little boy but FOB bailing out on me was unexpected. He adamantly said he did not want kids when I told him I was pregnant. There was no doubt about going ahead with it in my mind as this could have been my last chance, he could have many years ahead of him to have kids if he changed his mind, I didn't have that luxury and he more or less gave the ultimatum of choose me or this baby, you can't have both. It was a no brainer.

 

[emeraldbaby]

I left my toxic rship several months ago.
Now im just focusing on trying to heal emotionally and prepare for my baby coming.
I feel very blessed to be pregnant and I will always strive to be the best mom possible.
One day in the not too soon future I hope to meet someone who will treat me and my child well, but at the moment its all about my baby and giving them all my time and attention. Nothing else matters.
Congratulations on your pregnancy!

 

[RaRalalala]

I'm 22 and I broke off the relationship with my partner when I was about 3 months pregnant, he lived 3 hours away from me, was full of bullsh*t and couldn't even be bothered to get a proper job. Said enough to me to know that I would be better doing it on my own rather than him snoring through the night and me resenting him even more than necessary. Seems I made the right decision as he's never bothered to see her more than twice, the last time being when she was ten days old and he even quit his job so he wont have to pay for her. Never thought I would be glad of my decision of leaving him!

 

[holdontohope]

There doesnt seem to be a life journeys or any other sort of place for this. I know a few of us were together on trying to conceive but... Thought id put it out there.

I'm 39. Ran out of time to find a partner and have kids so I decided to just do the kids thing.

Did you use a sperm donor?

I am 23 and I am using a sperm donor. I start long protocol IVF October 13th

 

[drsquid]

hold- yup. i did 4 iui before my idiot doc finally tested the sperm and found out it was crap. ended up doing ivf with lupron suppression etc. went great =) fingers crossed for you

 

[holdontohope]

hold- yup. i did 4 iui before my idiot doc finally tested the sperm and found out it was crap. ended up doing ivf with lupron suppression etc. went great =) fingers crossed for you

about where do you live? I am in the US

I can't believe they didn't test the sperm from the beginning that is something they automatically do here. Did you use a sperm bank?

I am having a hard time choosing a donor! Did you chose anonymous or willing to be known?

How was doing IVF "alone"? I mean without a partner... I have wonderful family support and my mom wants to be apart of everything, which I am very greatful for!! I still wonder what the whole process is going to be like

I am using lupron and Gonal-F or Repronex. Plus progesterone and a list of antibiotics and vag creams (still not sure why I need those lol)

Nice to meet someone who went through the same thing!!

 

[holdontohope]

and sorry for all the questions!! LOL

 

[drsquid]

according to my doc the sperm from sperm banks is always good...sigh. even though it came back crap he still claimed it was my eggs but.. my results with ivf were incredible so.. wasnt my darn eggs. anyway yeah i used european sperm bank of america who seemed quite upset about the poor sperm and gave me 4 free vials. by that point is was frustrated and just went with ivf. i knew i wanted asian and taller than 5'10. first donor was 6'3 half chinese half korean the one i ended up using was 5'10 and vietnamese. why asian? i dunno. just liked the idea. i went with open id because i felt that that information should be available to my kids if they want it in the future because it would be too hard for them to find out otherwise if they wanna know. i knew i didnt want a known donor (didnt want a kid to feel like the donor could have been involved if they were a better kid etc). dont mind the questions .ask away. my folks are super supportive but they live on the other side of the country. got a friend to give me a lift for egg retrieval (she offered i didnt ask). im super independent so i didnt have a problem with it. oh and im in oakland ca.

 

[RaRalalala]

I was just intrigued by the asian choice! FOB is 1/4 chinese so LO is an 1/8th! Lol I just think you're very brave to of known what you wanted and gone and done it! I chose to have LO on my own once I was already pregnant but I don't know if I would of had the courage to of got pregnant by choice on my own, I guess you just feel a lot more sure once you know there is already a little baby on the way to look after and do what's best! Still you wont be in any a different situation from myself, LO will know who her dad is if she asks but doesn't look like he is going to be involved at all!

 

[holdontohope]

I am in CA too
why did you choose to use a European sperm bank? I am using a sperm bank in San Francisco that is mainly used for same sex couples and single women. There "willing to be known donors" mean that when a child turns 18, they will be given access to there fathers first and last name, address and phone number. They also are the only sperm bank in CA that do video taped interviews with the "willing to be known" sperm donors. So I could not only pay extra to see a baby picture, but also see/hear what the donor looks like as an adult... I don't know quite yet how I feel about that
So far I know I want Caucasian/German/Swedish (something along that line) over 6'2 and no family medical history of endometriosis or any other womens/male health disorders.

ok I have more questions!
how were the injections? how many eggs did you get? did you freeze embryos/eggs? How much did your IVF cost?

I had difficulty coming up with the money big time! They quoted me at 17,000 and I have 0 insurance coverage for infertility. I had to get 2 separate loans!

 

[drsquid]

I used European sperm bank cause they had a 6'3 Asian guy. I had no interest in hearing the voice etc cause it isn't as though the baby will sound like them. Plus they were the only ones I found so I didn't have a choice. This is the same... Age 18 the kids can get the info. Which clinic are you using? I used alta bates but the retrieval etc was at pacific fertility in sf. Ivf was nearly 11,000 and drugs were about 3000. Did you try iui and fail? That is far far far cheaper and less invasive. I had fabulous results. 13 retrieved 12 mature and 11 fertilized. All 11 made it to blast. The 2 I put back both stuck and I froze 4.

Rara- my cousins wife is Vietnamese too so the kids will look like their cousins. I prefer Asian men in general. And yeah it was a hard choice but I'm 39... So it was now or never

 

[katrus78]

Hi all, I am 34, live on US and also made a choice to get pg on my own using a donor. I already have a 9yo boy but wanted a second child badly. I was monitored by the IVF clinic for a year before I found the right donor (I also have some infertility issues), but than went straight to IVF which was successfull from the first try, thank god. I am 28 weeks pg with girl twins now and couldn't be happier!

 

[drsquid]

wow.. 3 by yourself// im freaked about my 2 on the way.congrats on the twins.. mine are boy girl

 

[PearlD]

Hey guys. I am really glad I found this thread, as it has given me some hope. I am 39 and trying to conceive on my own. I realized last year that I really wanted to be a mom and couldn't wait for Mr. Right anymore. I have gone through 3 IUIs - the 1st didn't take, the 2nd was a chemical and the 3rd was an ectopic (which was the most horrible thing I have ever gone through). The doctor has now cleared me to try again after recovering from the ectopic - the IUI should be around the 16th or 17th. Everything looks great - the HSG showed perfectly open tubes, my hormone levels are right on the money and my day 3 ultrasound showed a good number of follicles. But for some reason, I couldn't get it out of my mind this morning that there is just something wrong with me - specifically that I waited too long and my eggs are just too "old". Reading this thread has really helped me realize that I should never give up hope, so I just wanted to say thanks for posting. Congrats to those expecting and good luck to those in the TTC boat like me.

 

[drsquid]

pearl- yay glad you found it. i was frustrated cause i think there really is a difference between single mom's by choice (ie you choose in advance there will be no "father") vs when it happens by circumstance. just different issues and stresses. sorry to hear about your iui issues. i had 4 failed myself (which led me to think i flat out coulndt get pregnant). clearly given the results you had so far... ie 2 pregnancies (even though they didnt work out). your eggs still know how to party. fingers crossed this one is it for you

 

[holdontohope]

I am choosing a sperm donor from Pacific Reproductive Services in sf! lol what a small world! My clinic is in Redondo Beach. I was quoted around 17,000 which would of included everything.
6,500 Dr.s fees
3,250 lab and surgery fees
2,500-3,000 medication
1,500 egg freezing for 5 years
1,000 sperm donor
If needed things:
1,000 ICSI
500 embryo freezing

Did you get a loan also to pay for everything? Did you need ICSI?

I have not tired IUI or anything else. I was told that IVF was my best/only option because of how severe my endometriosis is. I have stage 4 endo, adenomyosis, 1 damaged tube/possibly ovary also. I have only had a couple periods this year, so I don't ovulate often either. Basically I was dealt shit cards at a young age and this is my chance to carry a biological child of my own.

Doctor is going all out with me since this will probably be the only chance He is hoping to get 25 to 30 eggs

 

[holdontohope]

Hey guys. I am really glad I found this thread, as it has given me some hope. I am 39 and trying to conceive on my own. I realized last year that I really wanted to be a mom and couldn't wait for Mr. Right anymore. I have gone through 3 IUIs - the 1st didn't take, the 2nd was a chemical and the 3rd was an ectopic (which was the most horrible thing I have ever gone through). The doctor has now cleared me to try again after recovering from the ectopic - the IUI should be around the 16th or 17th. Everything looks great - the HSG showed perfectly open tubes, my hormone levels are right on the money and my day 3 ultrasound showed a good number of follicles. But for some reason, I couldn't get it out of my mind this morning that there is just something wrong with me - specifically that I waited too long and my eggs are just too "old". Reading this thread has really helped me realize that I should never give up hope, so I just wanted to say thanks for posting. Congrats to those expecting and good luck to those in the TTC boat like me.

just wanted to say hi!
Good luck on your IUI coming up! Think positive thoughts