Any SMEPers!!!! 43 Testers! 22 BFP!!!!

[jrowenj]

Grats, lisa!! I'm gonna guess a girl!!!

Sunny, where are u?!

 

[Sunny skies]

Well still no AF but I tested and BFN. Usually my cycles are 28 or 29 days, I've only had one cycle that was 31 days. Maybe my trip messed up my cycle.

Lisa, that's great news. I'm guessing boy for you.

 

[krystinab]

Jamie....my soooo jealous. You are so damn cute! I want to rub that belly.

Sunny. Maybe you have a creeper BFP!! Give it a few more days...and test again!

Lisa...I think you are having a boy....you've been smooth sailing through this pregnancy...

Dove....let's go! We need some BFPs!!!

AFM, nothing is going on....cd3

 

[armymama2012]

Got my dating ultrasund yesterday and then rode with my mom and DD from NY all the way to IN! Anyways, here's the news: I thought I was only 10 weeks and 6 days but turns out I'm 12 weeks! Pictures will come once I get them in the computer, the midwife had so much fun that she gt me 10 pictures!

 

[Kdk24]

Army... 12wks! That's so great! What a milestone!!!

 

[BamBamsMaMa]

Guys, I am dying on the inside. I am double dating with my BFF tonight and we are going to watch Breaking Dawn 2. When I met up with her, she said she had news for me. I immediately knew. She's 3 months pregnant with her 2nd child. She showed me sonogram pictures and everything. I am truly happy for her but I also just want to break down and cry. I haven't told her we have been trying. She doesn't know we have failed month after month. i dont want to rain on her parade. She told me she tried for a couple of months then forgot about it when she didn't fall pregnant and then next thing you know, she had a BFP. Now I can't enjoy my movie or my dinner. All I can think about is how I want it so bad and I can't make it happen. While, her and the husband she can't stand is having #2, barely tried too. All night I have to pretend I am happy and nothing is bothering me. DH knows I am upset but its not like we can talk about it now till the night is over. I just want to die.

 

[dove830]

Guys, I am dying on the inside. I am double dating with my BFF tonight and we are going to watch Breaking Dawn 2. When I met up with her, she said she had news for me. I immediately knew. She's 3 months pregnant with her 2nd child. She showed me sonogram pictures and everything. I am truly happy for her but I also just want to break down and cry. I haven't told her we have been trying. She doesn't know we have failed month after month. i dont want to rain on her parade. She told me she tried for a couple of months then forgot about it when she didn't fall pregnant and then next thing you know, she had a BFP. Now I can't enjoy my movie or my dinner. All I can think about is how I want it so bad and I can't make it happen. While, her and the husband she can't stand is having #2, barely tried too. All night I have to pretend I am happy and nothing is bothering me. DH knows I am upset but its not like we can talk about it now till the night is over. I just want to die.

I'm so sorry about this....are you going to tell her that you've been trying?

 

[BamBamsMaMa]

Guys, I am dying on the inside. I am double dating with my BFF tonight and we are going to watch Breaking Dawn 2. When I met up with her, she said she had news for me. I immediately knew. She's 3 months pregnant with her 2nd child. She showed me sonogram pictures and everything. I am truly happy for her but I also just want to break down and cry. I haven't told her we have been trying. She doesn't know we have failed month after month. i dont want to rain on her parade. She told me she tried for a couple of months then forgot about it when she didn't fall pregnant and then next thing you know, she had a BFP. Now I can't enjoy my movie or my dinner. All I can think about is how I want it so bad and I can't make it happen. While, her and the husband she can't stand is having #2, barely tried too. All night I have to pretend I am happy and nothing is bothering me. DH knows I am upset but its not like we can talk about it now till the night is over. I just want to die.

I'm so sorry about this....are you going to tell her that you've been trying?

I wanted to keep that to ourselves because we just don't want the added pressure of people asking us questions of why and how come its taking us so long to get pregnant. I know she's my BFF and I should be able to tell her everything but TTC is such a sensitive subject for me. I feel like such a bad friend because I really didn't want to talk about her pregnancy after she revealed it to me. I only wished she knew how I really feel but I don't want her to feel bad or shy herself from me. A part of me is so angry.

 

[jrowenj]

Oh, may... My love. I am so sorry. We have all been in your place and I know those feelings all too well. The anger, bitterness, jealousy, sadness and the feeling of being ipset with yourself for allowing urself to feel those things and not beong haPpy for your friend. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I can imagine having to sit through the rest of the night pretending when all you really want is to be home dealing with ur feelings. I don't know what to say other than I know how you feel and we are all hear to listen and support you. May, I think maybe you need to open up to one of ur friends it may lift a heAvy load off ur shoulders. Its too hard to go through this alone. Xoxoxoxo

 

[BamBamsMaMa]

Oh, may... My love. I am so sorry. We have all been in your place and I know those feelings all too well. The anger, bitterness, jealousy, sadness and the feeling of being ipset with yourself for allowing urself to feel those things and not beong haPpy for your friend. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I can imagine having to sit through the rest of the night pretending when all you really want is to be home dealing with ur feelings. I don't know what to say other than I know how you feel and we are all hear to listen and support you. May, I think maybe you need to open up to one of ur friends it may lift a heAvy load off ur shoulders. Its too hard to go through this alone. Xoxoxoxo

Thanks, Jaime. That is exactly it. You guys know exactly how it feels. I am afraid to tell other people who haven't gone through what I am going through be ausw they just won't understand. I considered telling my bff last night because the pain of knowing she's pregnant was really eating at me on the inside. I put myself in her shoes and I just know she would never know how I feel. I am all of those things you said... Bitter, jealous, sad, angry, etc. I can't control my emotions and I feel like such a bad person. I cried all the way home last night. I am also not attending my family's thanksgiving dinner this year because there will be too many family members and babies around. My cousins newborn twins will be there. My other cousin from FL is flying all the way back with her 9 month old. All my little cousins will be there too. I can't subject myself to being asked why I am the I only married person my age without any kids. TTC has really taken over my life. This really sucks.

 

[jrowenj]

Oh, may... My love. I am so sorry. We have all been in your place and I know those feelings all too well. The anger, bitterness, jealousy, sadness and the feeling of being ipset with yourself for allowing urself to feel those things and not beong haPpy for your friend. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I can imagine having to sit through the rest of the night pretending when all you really want is to be home dealing with ur feelings. I don't know what to say other than I know how you feel and we are all hear to listen and support you. May, I think maybe you need to open up to one of ur friends it may lift a heAvy load off ur shoulders. Its too hard to go through this alone. Xoxoxoxo

Thanks, Jaime. That is exactly it. You guys know exactly how it feels. I am afraid to tell other people who haven't gone through what I am going through be ausw they just won't understand. I considered telling my bff last night because the pain of knowing she's pregnant was really eating at me on the inside. I put myself in her shoes and I just know she would never know how I feel. I am all of those things you said... Bitter, jealous, sad, angry, etc. I can't control my emotions and I feel like such a bad person. I cried all the way home last night. I am also not attending my family's thanksgiving dinner this year because there will be too many family members and babies around. My cousins newborn twins will be there. My other cousin from FL is flying all the way back with her 9 month old. All my little cousins will be there too. I can't subject myself to being asked why I am the I only married person my age without any kids. TTC has really taken over my life. This really sucks.

you're not a bad person at all for having those feelings. you are a wonderful person especially because you still showed your friend happiness for her even though it was killing you inside. that is very selfless

 

[snowflakes120]

Oh May. I wanna give you the biggest hug in the entire world. I completely understand. All the feelings Jaime said is exactly the feelings I have. I have to sit at work everyday listening to my 2 direct co-workers talk non-stop about their pregnancies. And of course the one girl got PG her 1st month trying!! I have to watch their bellies get bigger. I have to listen to them complain about how horrible being pregnant is (when I would give anything to be PG and I can tell you right now - I will not complain at all during this PG!!) I know how hard it is. They don't know about my TTC issues. I leave the room every time they brought it up. I go to the bathroom and sit or go to a co-workers office to get away from it all. I still have issues when they bring it up even though I am PG. I still leave. I don't know why but it still gets to me. I guess maybe once I announce my PG I will be OK but I don't know. Just wanted to let you know that you are so not alone!! Hugs girl!!

 

[Sunny skies]

May, hope your feeling better today, I know how tough last night was for you and your an amazing person for being there for your friend even though your dying inside.

Today will be one of those days for me where I have to put on a happy face for my cousin as I'm going by to see her one month old baby. Last Thursday I had to do the same to visit my friends newborn. I just want it to be me and it feels like it will never happen. All we can do is keep having faith it will happen for us too.

Well, still no AF, tested yesterday BFN. I guess I'll wait a few more days and test again. AT what point should I go to the doctor, I've never had a cycle longer than 31 days and I'm on day 32?

 

[mammaspath]

ahh may - so sorry sista!!!!! HUGS HUGS HUGS!!! i can tell you tho i broke down to my bestie who has had 4 healthy pregnancies and I didn't think she would understand.........its incredible how much of a support system she is to me and my craziness.......ttc and pregnant now...........she has been amazing!

i still freak out about everything.........having a loss really has heightened my anxiety......and she gets the brunt of all of it.......but she just deals.

 

[jrowenj]

Sunny- thinking about you... Xoxoxoxox

Lisa- I hear ya. I still get bitter feelings when women announce their pregnancies esp when they announce them early bc when I had my mmc I waited to tell ppl and I never got to announce it then I see all these women announce the day they get their bfp and I get weird feelings of bitterness like its not fair that I had a mmc... Ttc sucks!

 

[BamBamsMaMa]

The slap in the face is that her due date is my wedding anniversary date.

Thanks for everyone's encouraging words. We all know all too well what it's like to be the one who desperately wants what we can't/couldn't. The idea of telling my BFF and have her tell her husband, sister, mother, is just too much. As much as I would love to share my journey with her, I just know it'll get too messy. For now I just have to eat up all my feelings and lean on you girls.

 

[ProfWife]

Everyone once in a while I stumble across a thread like this and feel like I'm "home."

Well - we're giving SMEP a whirl this month since "exceptional timing" hasn't worked yet.

I'm only CD 3. Here's hoping we can keep up the stamina required.

 

[mammaspath]

welcome prowife!!!! yay we have another tester ladies!!!

 

[Jessica28]

May - This thread is all about us ladies supporting each other both in ttc and in pregnancy. I cannot say that I fully understand how you feel because with both pregnancies, we got pregnant almost straight away. My best friend was pregnant (due two weeks after my EDD) when I learned of my mmc. She didn't call me for a few days and I just could't bring myself to call her. It hurt too much. 7 days after my mmc, another close friend gave birth and a few days after that another. I went back to work and I used to go to my grandparents for lunch everyday and my Aunt (same age as me) could not stop talking about these newborns... I sat through it until I could take no more. I said, "I come here for dinner everyday and all I hear is baby, baby, baby...I am supposed to be having one too and I am sick of hearing about it" It took a lot for me to say it but I was so sick of it. I went back on bcp for 4 months as suggsted by my doctor and I hated it... the time seemed like forever but It gave me chance to accept what had happen and I began to ask questions about these newborns and such... and I was happy for them but I still questioned why and I was still angry and hurt on the inside. It is so hard to put a brave face on when your heart is breaking. I am pregnant again now and while I am over the moon with joy, I feel guilty because my sister will never experience the joy of pregnancy but neither will she have to experience the heartache that comes with a loss. I know how much she adores children and sometimes it hurts to even imagine how she feels now that all her friends are having children and knowing that she never will. I symathaize with you May and I prat with all my heart you get your miracle soon.

 

[BamBamsMaMa]

Thanks, Jess. I have been trying to keep my mind occupied today but I couldn't help thinking about it and getting upset over it. This is going to suck for a very long time.