And I don't mean "pregnant weird".
I mean... I guess I do, but not what I THOUGHT would be "pregnant weird".
We had been trying for years, and I'm now 5w3d pregnant. And I'm thrilled. I'm of course also worried, because it's still so early. But that's not the weird thing. I expected that.
I just feel like I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing, whatever the heck that is. I don't really have any symptoms, so I don't FEEL pregnant. I feel like nothing changed, but everything changed at the same time. It's a weird combination.
I'm not drinking anymore. That's probably the only real actual change in my life. I feel like there should be more changes than that.
And it's hard for me to be productive with anything else, because it's so constantly on my mind. But at the same time there's really nothing for me to DO. My husband keeps telling me that I am, "you're growing our baby!" he says, which is super crazy sweet. I just smile and nod. But my honest reaction is "But I'm not really DOING anything." I mean it's not like I'm going "Okay, time to work on that brain stem...." lol.
I'm not sure I'm explaining this right, lol. But it's an awkward feeling. It makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong, even though my brain knows I'm not.
It's just a strange feeling. You'd think after three years of wanting something to happen, I wouldn't be so thrown by the fact that it happened.
I think part of it is that I'm so happy to be finally pregnant, but right now being pregnant is more of an adjective and less of a verb. it's not really something I'm doing. It's what I am.
And I know there's nothing wrong with that. It's just.... weird.
Aaargh. I don't know how to --- does anyone else know what I'm talking about????
I mean... I guess I do, but not what I THOUGHT would be "pregnant weird".
We had been trying for years, and I'm now 5w3d pregnant. And I'm thrilled. I'm of course also worried, because it's still so early. But that's not the weird thing. I expected that.
I just feel like I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing, whatever the heck that is. I don't really have any symptoms, so I don't FEEL pregnant. I feel like nothing changed, but everything changed at the same time. It's a weird combination.
I'm not drinking anymore. That's probably the only real actual change in my life. I feel like there should be more changes than that.
And it's hard for me to be productive with anything else, because it's so constantly on my mind. But at the same time there's really nothing for me to DO. My husband keeps telling me that I am, "you're growing our baby!" he says, which is super crazy sweet. I just smile and nod. But my honest reaction is "But I'm not really DOING anything." I mean it's not like I'm going "Okay, time to work on that brain stem...." lol.
I'm not sure I'm explaining this right, lol. But it's an awkward feeling. It makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong, even though my brain knows I'm not.
It's just a strange feeling. You'd think after three years of wanting something to happen, I wouldn't be so thrown by the fact that it happened.
I think part of it is that I'm so happy to be finally pregnant, but right now being pregnant is more of an adjective and less of a verb. it's not really something I'm doing. It's what I am.
And I know there's nothing wrong with that. It's just.... weird.
Aaargh. I don't know how to --- does anyone else know what I'm talking about????