anybody having doubts?

[mrs-mickeyd2b]

im 16 weeks pregnant. me and my boyfriend where both over the moon when we found out and after the shock had gone. but now sometimes i cry thinking i have messed up my life. i loved going out to partys and rave and have been known as quite a party animal! i had big plans for becoming a beauty therapist and makeup artist (wanted to do level 3 next year!). had big plans to go on holidays to hawaii and vagas and stuff like that..and i keep worrying that my boyfriend of a year and 8 months will leave me because he likes going out EVERY weekend on th drink! and he'll not want to settle down. hes jst come back frm magaluf..where he actually cheated on me because of drink! i feel like his drinking is pushing us apart because hes a twat when hes drunk and i ahte it. i rarely go out with him now. is this just hormones? or is it just me having doubts?

 

[AppleBlossom]

Sorry to hear about your bf. You can still do all of those things that you wanted to do, they'll just have to be postponed for a little while. Having a baby is hard work and a full time commitment but it doesn't mean you can never have a life again, I know plenty of people who have had babies and still go out and party. Obviously not as much as they did but every now and again. I think it's natural for some people to have doubts at first so I'll guess you're not alone. Tell your bf how you feel and that if he is going to be a dad he's going to have to start acting more responsibly. He doesn't have tp stop drinking altogether, my OH still goes out now and again, he just can't keep going out all the time. Hope everything works out and hope you have a happy healthy pregnancy x

 

[mrs-mickeyd2b]

yeah i suppose. i dont want to stop him going out completely..just not every weekend. he gets in such a state..it really annoys me. i think we shall have a little chat tonight! youv not long to go til ur lil ones here wow! thnx 4 ya comment. xx

 

[AppleBlossom]

You're welcome It would annoy me too if my OH went out every weekend. And yeah, 3 weeks, not long for most people but I'm getting very impatient lol x

 

[Sunshine]

Hi there,

Sorry to hear about how you are feeling. If it helps, I was having IVF and really wanted this and now I'm pregnant (with twins!) and feel completely confused as to what I have done. My party days are over but I still love going out and having my husband to myself and doing whatever we want whenever we like. Things are going to change! But on the positive side, everybody I have spoken to so far tells me these feelings are completely normal - it's just hormones. I am also waiting for that 'happy gene' to kick in!

With regard to your career, I teach BT and it is a great career to have with a small family. If you have already completed levels 1 & 2 there is no reason why you couldn't get started now! You have the rest of your life to do level 3, and BT is something that can easily work around family life. If you have a spare spot you could work from home or go mobile, the main thing that earns the pennies is waxing and if you've already done a year you'll have that. All is not doomed, once you have your education nobody can take it away from you!

As for the BF, I don't want to make excuses for him but perhaps he is still in shock - just showing it in a very different way to you. You will know what is right for you as time goes by.

Good luck x

 

[loulou83]

Life doesn't stop when you have kids.... if you've got some decent support from family or friends anyways. My kids 17 months now and I go out every weekend on a mad one with my friends, do a dance class in the week and usually something else social because my sis and parents will look after her for a while. You have to stop doing stuff for a good few months but don't think that life will be boring or come to a halt because of your little one... mine certainly hasn't!

 

[loulou83]

OH and I'm going back to college in Sept. Lots of colleges have a creche so you can still continue with your education in regards to beauty therapy.

 

[mrs-mickeyd2b]

thanks everybody! yaz have made me feel alot better about my pregnancy. i think it is my hormones. they are a nightmare..i keep crying at stuff..including big brother the other day when mikey started crying my boyfriend just couldnt understand why i was so upset! i discussed with my tutor about evening courses for make-up and stuff and iv just dun my fake-tan training so its all good at the min. i dont know why i was worried. just one of those days

congrat to everyone though xxx

 

[Sophie1205]

hiya can i just see my bf is an absolute tw*t when hes drunk too. we recently went out to a few clubs and he got too drink and acted like a d*ck head. he told me i was a bitch and i was a shit gf. i did my best to stay calm and not flip out for my babys sake. and im proud that i did. but hes not normally like that hes only liek that when hes drunk. so i know how it feels xx

 

[mommytashaX2]

When I first got pregnant I was happy and then after a bit, when the morning sickness came and the hormones kicked in, I started feeling the same way. I felt like maybe I didn't make the right decision because I already have a 4 year old who was just learning to do a lot on her own and was almost in fulltime school, I had been working with a great company and I was getting my body in shape I was having fun with my life and just turned the legal drinking age in Canada, so I'm sure you know how that goes But as time went on and I had my first ultrasound, I realized that a little baby was growing inside of me and now I was old enough to embrace motherhood as I had been so young when I had my daughter. You will have those days when you feel like maybe you're not making the right choice, but when you think about the prize in the end and this little person that is now relying on you for love and support and is always going to be there to give you the same in return, you will remember why you made the decision that you did. And don't worry about your bf. I know it may be hard seeing him do everything that you wish you could be doing, but you need to remember that he's still young too and soon he's going to have the responsibilty of raising a child as well. Let him have his fun and you two should also think about things that you can do together so that you don't feel like you are missing out and you have quality time together before little one gets here. Congrats once again

 

[r a i n _x]

Well, hormones and doubts probably DO play a big part of it - but that's fine, it's acceptable - you're PREGNANT, it IS a big responsbility and sure, it will change your life.

But to be honest honey, and i know i'm only 16 so it's understandable if you don't want to agree with me, but is he really worth it? Sure, it feels like you can't make it on your own sometimes, or you want your baby to have a dad as a role model too.. but sometimes, it could do more damage than good if he's going to put you, and eventually the child, through a bit of an emotional turmoil. I think that hopefully, when your child is born, he will settle down - he'll be a father, and if he really cares, he will not want to lose you or his responsibility as a parent. If he does, more fool him - it's his loss.

The good thing is, though, many training places offer baby care facilities for while you're studying or whatever. And when you've passed the levels you want - you could be a home therapist, or make up artist! My hairdresser wanted to do hair dressing for a long time, and then she fell pregnant. She thought her career was over but now, after training, she does her job at home or travels to other peoples houses with her baby; she really enjoys it - she can do hairdressing for peoples prom nights; or whatever.

Good luck to you, i really hope it all works out! xo

 

[dizzy65]

hey there...

I think that if you and your boyfriend were ment to be together he will stick around. If he really cares about u and your future child he will want to stick around one would think.. Have you tried asking him to stop drinking or slow down a little and if you need to just tell him something like his drinking is scaring you or something like that.. Since he did cheat on you once all ready while drunk.. And as for your future plans they are still accomplishable with a baby you will just have to work harder. But if that is what you still really want to do and dont want to be a "full time" mom everything is possibal... Hope everything works out for u!