Anyone assuming they WON'T have a baby shower?

[amelia26]

I'm from the UK and have a pretty similar view as Patsy. It's just not the done thing here. It's a difference in culture, that's all. What's considered normal in one country can be considered rude in another. Like showing the soles of your feet in Turkey, or whatever.

I do like the tradition of having a party though. But without the gifts. Here, people generally prefer to give gifts after the child has been born.

 

[CRWx]

I don't think I'll be having one because it's not really done here! Unless someone does it as a surprise, I can't see it happening! If it did it'd be more like a little party with games xxx

 

[LoraLoo]

Doesn't interest me at all I didn't have one with my others and I'm not having one this time.

 

[loeylo]

I really didn't want one. I wanted my oh and I to host a mixed sex get together for family and close friends at ours, with strict instructions not to get gifts. I was also going to organise a girly spa day with friends and then we were going out to dinner with both sides of the family. People usually buy gifts after the baby arrives here, so it seemed really greedy to host a shower too! I specifically told people I didn't want one.

Guess what? Im having two! My fiend planned a surprise shower, gifts and all. I have more pink 0-3 months onesie sets than I know what to do with! Worse still, she invited my family but not my oh's and she missed out two of my best friends so it was pretty awkward tbh. There was also presents and they were opened in front of everyone. It was lovely that someone went to the effort of planning it for me, but it really isn't my cup of tea!

Close family members on both sides are wanting to buy us gifts, which is fine, but I still feel awkward about telling them what we still need. I'd rather they just put some money in a card that we could put together to get the big things, that way I'm not insulting them by telling them pricy/cheap items if that makes sense.

My second shower is organised by my mum and sister. It is only or family and I know there will be no presents. I'm ok with that!

 

[Kirsty3051]

Another one from the UK that's not having a baby shower. Family members and friends bought small gifts with them to the hospital after we had our first but I can't imagine myself handing out a list for people to buy me things. My grandparents have offered to buy our travel system for both pregnancies but we declined. Receiving gifts makes me feel awkward.

 

[Scout]

Actually, most people ask you to do a registry, so it's not like handing someone a list and telling them to buy this or that. I didn't plan to do a registry bc I didn't really care what ppl gifted, but I had so many people call and ask me or ask the people planning my shower (who then called me) to please go register. For a lot of people, including myself, they like registries bc it's so much easier to buy a gift, and you're not wondering what to get or if the person will want/like what you got. If a person doesn't want to buy off a registry, they don't have to. Any gift is appreciated. And from what I've seen most people still buy most of their own things, especially the big stuff, and showers are for the less expensive things. Can't tell you how many bottles of baby shampoo I got! But yeah, it's a US thing so can understand why people not used to this would think it odd or even rude.

OP, regarding 2nd showers, it's really what your own circle of family and friends want to do. I don't think there are any hard and fast rules about it, tbh. I have been to 2nd showers and never thought anything of it. I love any chance to get together with my friends and have a good time So, if family and/or friends want to throw you a shower then it's perfectly okay. That is, if you decide you want one.

 

[Ravenmom]

I had one with my son, but won't be having one this time even though it's a girl. I don't want the hassle and would rather just buy my stuff... But then again, my son will only be 21 months, so we still have everything. If they were more spaced like 4+ years, I totally would

 

[Ravenmom]

Do what you feel like you want to do! Who cares what anyone else thinks. My bff just had number 4 an she is team shower for every baby... But that's what her family does

 

[Fliss]

I didn't get one with Nathan and I don't think I'll get one with Peanut - as I've got no one to organise one for me and its tacky (at least in my experience) to organise your own

 

[DobbyForever]

Not sure if you are still pondering this. I'm on the social committee at my job, and the truth is people WANT to share this moment with you. Whether it is your first, last, tenth... Sure, the parties may become less elaborate and the gifts less huge haha. But you still deserve a chance to get together and celebrate your baby with friends and family. Plenty of people have small showers and that is all they can afford to muster up. My cousin's shower was in a friend's backyard and my auntie cooked all the food. We just sat around and talked and it was grand! Heck, I had a friend who had the means but just didn't want to make a fuss since it was her second kid and she kept all her stuff so they had it at her mom's, her mom made all the food, and she straight told everybody don't buy me anything and if you do Target gift card please.

And if you don't want to be presumptuous, you can always just say you aren't registered anywhere. That way people can decide on their own what to get. That's easy for me to say though because typically I collect money from people who are too busy/ hate shopping and buy group gifts while everyone else buys personal presents.

 

[DobbyForever]

Oh and apparently if you call it a baby sprinkle that's the new fad haha. I just saw that in first tri.

 

[kksy9b]

We had two with my DS (one in the city where we live now with friends, one in my hometown with family). They were really nice and it was nice to get to celebrate with everyone. For the next one though, I really don't want one, even if someone offers. We have most everything we need already and dont' want for people to feel like they need to purchase anything. Instead, we are going to throw a gender reveal party, which we didn't do for DS, so they each have their own unique celebrations. We will specify "no gifts" so everyone knows it's just a time to gather and celebrate and eat cake

 

[Ol1vertwist]

I had two with my daughter - first one I knew about that my work friends threw me, the 2nd was with close friends and family and was a complete surprise. This time I'm not expecting one and wouldn't particularly want a full on baby shower. A nice get together with friends without the games would be nice and I can organise that myself.