anyone else being positive about the pain of natural birth?

[aliss]

We actually didn't call the midwife until it was almost too late because I kept waiting for labor to hurt more. I'd gotten it so in my head that it was going to HURT HURT HURT than when whatever techniques I used WORKED and it DIDN'T hurt like I was half-scared it would, I thought it wasn't real labor yet! Whoops.

If you don't mind me asking, how did you eventually know that you were in real labour? I've been having pre-labour for days and I'm worried about this happening!

For me, I kept trying to sleep in between contractions (it started at 11pm) and after about 2 hours of not knowing if it was labour or just having to go to the bathroom (LOL), and I couldn't sleep through anymore, I realized it was time

 

[Feronia]

lol, thanks ladies! I just hope this blasted pre-labour turns into real labour soon!

 

[gryphongrl]

If you don't mind me asking, how did you eventually know that you were in real labour? I've been having pre-labour for days and I'm worried about this happening!

I also didn't know I was in labor because the contractions were like cramps... I told DH that if I'd been at work, I would have taken a motrin and not gone home, so I was sure it wasn't labor. However, they got to 2 minutes apart very regularly and so we called the midwife, she spotted "active labor" before getting all the way into the living room. The contractions would kind of take my breath away but weren't what I expected as far as painful. They got more intense (that was birth minus 4 hours at that point), but it wasn't to where I lost my cool except the last 15 minutes or so.

 

[anita665]

Personally I think everyone’s experience of pain is different, not just because of the way that they think about it but because of the length, strength of contractions, size and position of baby... I think there are a lot of factors which come into play.

I've had two labours on just g&a and I would agree that staying calm and being positive and accepting of the pain helps a huge amount but both labours were very different in the intensity of the pain.

The first was a longer labour, I tore badly and pushing took much longer but it was much less painful over all than the second.

The second was very fast, very strong and close together contractions from the start and by the end I felt like I couldn't even see because of the pain. Still I remained calm and focused on the task in hand. I didn't tear and pushed him out in under 1 min.

I'm not sure whether going into it with the attitude of it not being that painful is good or bad. Maybe expecting it to be terrible will give you a nice surprise but thinking it will be a walk in the park if you remain focused could also leave you disappointed. Although I agree that if you go into it thinking you won't cope and will need all the help you can get is setting yourself up for failure.

 

[beautifulpack]

I had an unplanned natural birth 2 months ago and it was the worst pain I ever felt in my life. This was my second pregnancy...i had an epidural with my first. y labor and delivery was very quick, 3 hours...the contractions were extremely cloae together, I barely had a chance to breathe before the next one hit..I couldnt lay down, I labored on all fours on the hospital bed begging them to give me an epidural...I believe part of my pain came from not beingmentally or physically prepared for a natural birth..I thought I was going to have a c section until I was cleared for a vaginal birth at 38 weeks
.I gave birth a week later...for me the pain was truly agonizing and the experiemce has changed my life forever..I was very happy I did it..even though at times I believed I would pass out from the pain
.I do agree with the adrenaline rush afyer the baby is born

 

[Kiwi_Jen]

I had a natural birth at the hospital (birth centre) with a doula. I spent my entire labouring time in the bathtub (no birthing tubs available). I remember it being painful, but I knew that my body knew what it was doing so I just let the contractions wash over me, and generally I counted through the contractions (it really sucked when I got back to back contractions, so right when I was expecting it to be over the next one started).

I clearly remember thinking 'next time I'm definitely getting an epidural', but I never considered pain meds during labour. This time I'm planning on a home birth. A couple things that helped me were that labour doesn't last forever, and each contraction will come to an end, giving you a minute to breathe and gather yourself before the next.

I think relaxing is probably the most important aspect, if you're stressed or anxious it makes it worse. (oh and I was addicted to those birthing shows on tv, that invariable show the 'natural birthing' mothers screaming and succumbing to pain relief - my labour was _nothing_ like that.

 

[Reidfidleir]

I had a planned home water birth and was very positive about it before and during. I'm an optimist by nature anyway.
It is absolutely true that your body makes its own drugs. In between the contractions (that felt like strong period cramps) I felt very relaxed and drowsy. I would have laid down if I was not in the tub and if moving didnt spur on contractions. It's so important to relax. I tried very hard to keep my face jaw and shoulders relaxed during contractions. Easier said than done but the relaxing helps. Keeps you in control. I also tended to not focus on anything but breathing slowly and evenly from the diaphragm and closed my eyes during a contraction. I tried keeping them open at one point and trying to focus on a candle but that didn't work at all!
I also kept expecting it to get worse and it never did. The most frequent were 3 min apart and 1-1.5 min long. During the pushing stage the contractions actually spaced out to 4-5 min!
My midwife was right labor is easier to handle than period cramps. Period cramps for me are constant pain and pressure with no let up and you don't know when they'll end. Same with a stomach bug. and as a friend told me "it's only one day you'll get through it. "
I kept reading other people's experience on here to try and prepare myself and it helped a little. Labor was easier than I thought.
Easy? No. Fun? No. But if you remain mentally in control it's not bad. Vocalizing through the stronger contractions and pushing felt good and was almost involuntary.
I would highly recommend Ina mays guide to childbirth. It's great!
Towards the end I was thinking I wish it would just stop. I was tired by then. But it does. As soon as that baby comes out bam! Nothing. No pain no pressure nothing. I was on a high for like two weeks thinking I did it I did it!!!!

 

[aliss]

^True, the high of accomplishment cannot be beat. I don't care what anyone tries to say, giving birth without medication is an achievement and something to be proud of. I am immensely proud of it, IMO my greatest physical achievement ever (and I'm an athlete hah!). I'm proud of my first labour (epidural) but not in the same way. That was more of "proud of enduring as a passive participant" rather than "hell yes, I did that!!". You can be proud to run a marathon, why can't you be proud of a natural birth?

 

[R8ch]

I will be looking forwards to the 'challenge' of birth again. Last time I got to 7cm on my own at home, but things after seemed to go so slowly! (a further 9 hours until dd was born). That said, I used G&A which was incredibly useful. I got into the birthing pool and wow - the relief! I couldn't believe the pain relief it brought. However despite still having contractions, it stopped me progressing any further so had to get out lol. I went in with a positive attitude and did not (could not) consider anything other than G&A as I was at a birthing centre. This time I hope things go a similar way - hopefully quicker and even more control on my part. I am also hoping not to have a retained placenta...lol
Rx

Edited to add: I too was immensely proud of myself for doing it on my own and not giving up which I easily could have done, but am often frightened to admit this to other people for fear of offending someone or sounding big headed, which I'm not. It's a bit my like my breastfeeding too....

 

[NotNic]

I had a water birth experience without the water birth ending. I opted for a birthing centre and I just felt very optimistic about it being do-able. Personally I coped because I believed I could do it. I never doubted my ability (I'm pretty stubborn and competitive by nature so I think that helped ).

My hind waters went early so I was booked for an induction. Luckily my front waters went at midnight before going in and I started contracting 15mins later. I had a bath and dozed for a bit. At 3.30am I woke hubby to put the TENS on. 2 contractions later I begged him to get it off because it felt like the machine was attacking me. Around 4 I started to feel like it was getting strong and living a bit of a drive from the hospital I called them and they told me to come in early so I didn't get stuck in rush hour motorway traffic. We got there around 5 when the contractions eased off from the drive so I just wandered around until 8am when I needed something to help with the pain. They checked me over and told me my son was back to back, 5cms and they gave me g&a. As soon as they told me I could use the pool I felt so much better again. (Also discovering he was b2b made me feel less like a wimp and quite proud of myself). Getting into the pool felt like getting in to a warm bath after you've been soaked in the rain. It just washed over me and I honestly don't remember feeling pain from that point onwards. I felt a lot of pressure and I did use the g&a but mostly I was in a zone. My own little birthing bubble Unfortunately my son got stuck and I was transferred to the labour ward but I stayed pain relief free with the exception of g&a (which was useless against back to back pain when fully dilated) and back massage until I was taken to theatre 13hrs after I arrived where I was given a spinal. I remember all the theatre nurses trying to reassure me about not having a 'natural' ending and tbh I was surprised they thought id be upset. I couldn't have been prouder of myself. I felt so great knowing I had tried. I hadn't let the pain get the better of me and I pushed for well over 3 hrs. I knew I had given everything and it wasn't meant to be. Attempting a drug free birth was so empowering. I felt like I could do anything and hearing from my oh that the mw told him I had done enough work to push three babies out(!) made me feel like I was pretty fab. I actually am really looking forward to giving birth again in the future. I feel it is something I'm good at iykwim.

 

[Chezzz]

Thought I'd update this - my positively went slightly out te window. Contractions were worst bit. The water really helped ease the pain though! I was almost falling asleep in pool though was very tired ended up having pethadine just after my waters broke. Had a quick labour on gas and air & pethadine was falling asleep between 1 min apart contractions. Pushing was easier than expected didn't burn much from what I can remember.
I have 2nd degree tear, and 2 grazes on my inner labia.. And that is what hurt, felt like I was weeing razor blades.
Gonna be honest.. I was begging for an epidural, c section and assisted delivery my OH knew how much I didn't want them and talked me out of the epi so glad he did. My labour went so smoothly was in hospital less than 24 hours

Eta: he was back to back until I got in the water, got on water at 5.30pm was having contractions since 1am so glad he turned!

 

[SarahBear]

I definitely made an effort to stay positive in labor. I was a little too successful though... I fooled the midwife into thinking I wasn't as far along as I was and she arrived pretty much as I was crowning! It was also a very fast first labor.

 

[aliss]

Thought I'd update this - my positively went slightly out te window. Contractions were worst bit. The water really helped ease the pain though! I was almost falling asleep in pool though was very tired ended up having pethadine just after my waters broke. Had a quick labour on gas and air & pethadine was falling asleep between 1 min apart contractions. Pushing was easier than expected didn't burn much from what I can remember.
I have 2nd degree tear, and 2 grazes on my inner labia.. And that is what hurt, felt like I was weeing razor blades.
Gonna be honest.. I was begging for an epidural, c section and assisted delivery my OH knew how much I didn't want them and talked me out of the epi so glad he did. My labour went so smoothly was in hospital less than 24 hours

Eta: he was back to back until I got in the water, got on water at 5.30pm was having contractions since 1am so glad he turned!

Congrats Chezzz!!! Hey, those of us with med-free home births/natural births weren't necessarily singing at that stage either, I know I was crying for an epidural when the head was halfway out too But you did it without the epi (IMO I didn't think the pethidine did a damn thing with my 1st birth) and you should be so proud of that!!!!!!!!!!

 

[lynnikins]

my last baby born at home unassisted other than my husband being there on the phone to ambulance dispatch lol , i would call it pressure rather than pain because i didnt think of it as pain and tried to breathe my way through it all, pushing was relief

 

[MrsKyliePaton]

I had gas and air with DD1 it helped a bit but I was also very tense and scared so giving birth was extremely painful as i didn't let my body do the work I tried to control it which in the end made it worse.

DD2 on the other hand I stayed calm worked through my contractions with the tens machine went into the midwife led unit when I was 5 cm, we had a water birth which was one of the most amazing experience of my life the water took the pain away completely and I didn't need the gas and air, I was relaxed and let my body do the work didn't even experience the ring of fire, I went from 5-10cm in the space of 1.5 hours pushed for 20min and lo was here no tears just a little graze

 

[misspriss]

I'm positive about it. The girls in my water aerobics class can't believe it. I expect contractions to be uncomfortable, but not particularly painful, just discomfort. I said something about not being worried about pain in labor, and they couldn't believe I was not joking.

My mom didn't even know she was in labor with her first, because "she had period cramps worse than the contractions". I don't have bad cramps now, but when I was a teenager? I had HORRIBLE cramps. Lay in bed all day and hope you die kind of cramps, even with ibuprofen and acetaminophen alternating every two hours, and a heating pad. I think labor will be way easier than that.

I expect it to go well, it may not, but I can always hope for a positive outcome.

 

[Chezzz]

My period pains are awful too. Always have prescription painkillers for them. The contractions were bit more painful than them. But a much as they hurt it is kinda for a reason so you don't think about the pain too much.
Contractions were the worst bit for me. Xx

 

[aliss]

^
I had similar period pains. funny enough, they disappeared once I had my first child. A lot of women experience the same. Chezzz, I assume you haven't had a period yet, but I think you might never have them again.......

 

[peanutty81]

I refused to hear any horror stories as my birth got nearer and started to envisage birthing without pain - well it wasn't painless but it was totally manageable, I had a water birth and found the water really helped.

I think as the pain isn't continuous knowing that really helped me, each wave I just needed to knuckle down and get through.

I loved giving birth, it was empowering, intense. Good luck, I hope you get the birth you want xxx

 

[Chezzz]

^
I had similar period pains. funny enough, they disappeared once I had my first child. A lot of women experience the same. Chezzz, I assume you haven't had a period yet, but I think you might never have them again.......

Oh really? That's interesting! Just a waiting game but it would be nice! Evn if they were just toned down a bit I'd be happy lol!