Anyone else desperate to get pregnant but terrified after previous experiences?

[LittleMum]

Hi girls we desperately want another baby but are petrified because of last time!
I ended up hospitalised with pre eclampsia at 37 weeks and a week later they decided to deliver by cesarean. Although I have scoliosis (curvature of the spine), so turned out they couldn't physically use a spinal or epidural on me so ended up having to be put to sleep! I had a red band on stating that I was allergic to morphine but they still pumped me full of it anyway! Ending in me getting severe kidney failure and nearly not getting to meet my DD.
so yeah it was pretty horrific but we got through it and it was so worth it for my little ray of sunshine!

Obviously this time round I would go to a different hospital but I still can't help being terrified and OH even more so!!

I would love a natural birth but due to scoliosis could have a severely slanted pelvis so not sure it's possible and OH didn't want to risk it last time!

I'm filled with excitement and anticipation to get my BFP but know that as soon as I do the panic will kick in!

Anyone else feel like this?

Sorry it's so long winded xx

 

[Fleur29]

You're back!! Hurrah!

I didnt have a traumatic birth like you (sorry that you had such a rough time of it ) but my dd was born 6 weeks early and that was pretty scary, looking back, although at the time you do just get on with it. She was essentially fine, just learning to feed but stuck in SCBU for 9 (long!!) days and it was so hard walking out of hospital and leaving my baby there...

Before we starting TTC again I felt very hesitant. They dont know why she was early but the chances of having a second preemie after having a first are higher than if you have a full term baby and I guess I am worried that a second baby will be in SCBU for longer (how will I cope with a toddler and a newborn in hospital?) or that they will come even earlier and be more poorly.

I soooo want another baby but it does worry me, and I also wonder if the worry about this is always in the back of my mind and stopping me getting a BFP - silly I know, but I do wonder.

Have the doctors/midwives said if you're likely to have to have another general anasthetic c-section? When you get your BFP then I would start talking to them at that point about how its going to work.

Anyway, in the meantime, fingers crossed for those BFP's huh!!! XX

 

[LittleMum]

I've been over in NTNP they are such a lovely bunch over there!! Still trying to work out where I fit in best tho! Lol
Bless you, very different experience but we both have all the reasons to be scared, we must be mad to do it again lol

I'm like you, one of my biggest fears is being stuck in hospital again and apart from DD

 

[Fleur29]

Its tricky re knowing where to fit in. I am very definitely trying to get pregnant but not doing any peeing on sticks/charting etc at the moment. Maybe I will try the NTNP board too. There is a fab thread on here for ttc #2-ers (I wish that was a board in its own right tbh) that is full of lovely ladies in the same position as us - titled something like cd4 and ttc #2 or something like that??

How long did you have to stay in hospital after your dd birth?? X

 

[LittleMum]

Its tricky re knowing where to fit in. I am very definitely trying to get pregnant but not doing any peeing on sticks/charting etc at the moment. Maybe I will try the NTNP board too. There is a fab thread on here for ttc #2-ers (I wish that was a board in its own right tbh) that is full of lovely ladies in the same position as us - titled something like cd4 and ttc #2 or something like that??

How long did you have to stay in hospital after your dd birth?? X

Ooh I'll check it out now!
Was only in for 2 days after but it's the fear of being in for a week before again that petrifies me