Anyone else getting themselves worked up about breastfeeding?

[bigbetty]

Ok so I know that the best thing for baby to feed on is breast milk as it contains everything they need, but to be completely honest it isn't something that I have ever had the urge to do.

My mum formula fed both me and my sister, and my sister formula fed her eldest. She had a go bf her youngest but he just wouldn't latch and she got so tired trying to express all the time she just went onto formula.

I just always thought that I would formula feed too, I just don't feel comfortable with the idea of bf.

But DH has mentioned he would like me to try and although he would never try and make me do something I don't want to, I am now in 2 minds as to what to do.

Sometimes I think I will give it a go and then I change my mind and can't stand the idea. I get really upset now every time I think about it.

Anyone else had these conflicting feelings? Am I just being silly???????

 

[Phinners]

You dont have to do anything you dont want to do. But Id say try it for a few days, and see how you feel. You migh tfind you adore it, and want to carry on, or you might find its naff and dont want to do it.

Do you know why you feel this way? Is is a fear of pain etc?

 

[bigbetty]

Honestly? It's going to sound daft but I don't think I would be able to use my boobs for both work and play - if you get my meaning lol!

But seriously I don't know if there is any particular reason, it's just something I never really thought about doing and I don't feel a desperate urge to.

 

[Phinners]

lol I think I get what you mean, do you mean, you'd rather keep them for hubby than for feeding baby?

 

[trumpetbum]

It's not unusual. There's no doubt that breast is best but we're bombarded with messages from childhood showing breasts as sexual wheras breastfeeding awareness has only come into play in the last ten years. We shouldn't see them as simply sexual, but often it's just there in our subconscious making things difficult to get our head round.
As weird as it sounds, once you get past it, it can totally change your perception of your body. I didn't feel less sexy, in fact I loved my body when I was breastfeeding. I would just say that if you are in two minds, just try it. See how you feel, but don't make it into something that has you anxious or overwrought. You might try it, love it and wonder what the big deal was in the first plce or ou might try it, and end up deciding to use formula. Either way you'll have given it a shot and given the baby some of that important first antibody rich colostrum.

 

[Jem88]

Me and my OH we're formula fed, so were his siblings and mine, non of my cousins who now have babys or my aunties breastfed. My OH's sister who's got a 3 month old, she started to breastfeed but then got sick of being the only 1 who got up for the night feeds so now i think she breastfeeds and gives him formula at night.. But i keep having 2nd thoughts, as i do want to try and breastfeed as it's better for baby but i also kno i'd feel embarrased to do it in public or at other peoples houses, so i'm going to breastfeed at home and express for when we're out, well that's my plan anyways lol.. but just because of that, i then think it might just be easier to forumla feed instead of expressing.. but i think i proberly will try and breastfeed and express and then just see how it goes.

 

[bigbetty]

lol I think I get what you mean, do you mean, you'd rather keep them for hubby than for feeding baby?

Well it's more would I feel strange letting my husband touch them once they become such an intimate part of bonding with my baby?

Oh I don't know, like I say that isn't the main or only reason. I don't know why I feel like I do about bf.

The more I think about it the more worked up I get.

Thanks for all your support and advice ladies

 

[MummyToAmberx]

Dont stress over it! It isnt worth it.

Hard to say how you will/wont feel, if you want/dont want to do BF'in until youve given birth & are holding your baby, at this point you will know what you want to do until then, just forget about it i say.

My first pregnancy i wasnt keen on BF'in i had only turned 18 at the time! I just waited till she arrived, after holding her MW's asked would you like to BF or not. Instantly said, yeah i'll give it ago. It only lasted a week though.

 

[Mrs-C]

I can see what you mean, the idea seems strange. I thinl it's because of the unknown. If you're not sure about the baby feeding directly from you, you could try expressing and see how that goes for you?

I don't like the idea of feeding when others are around (not sure I even want DH to see tbh) but I know it's best for baby. I intend to bf at home and express to share the night feeds and for when we are out.

Aside from being best for baby, it is also good for loosing weight afterwards. The baby feeding from you burns calories and I think I read it also helps kick the belly into retracting back. I want to be more the size I was when I met DH and not what I am now. It's a big focus of mine for after the birth. Both my SILs got back to their weights quickly and I am fed up of being the fat one! That's my motivation for baby and me. I'm hoping the weirdness dissapears once the baby is here.

 

[Serene123]

I remember posting something similar to this when I was pregnant with my daughter. I did try it, and I ended up breastfeeding for 14 months.

Just don't put any pressure on yourself, if it isn't for you then it isn't. I would recommend trying it once atleast, but again that is up to you! x

 

[bigbetty]

Aside from being best for baby, it is also good for loosing weight afterwards. The baby feeding from you burns calories and I think I read it also helps kick the belly into retracting back. I want to be more the size I was when I met DH and not what I am now. It's a big focus of mine for after the birth. Both my SILs got back to their weights quickly and I am fed up of being the fat one! That's my motivation for baby and me. I'm hoping the weirdness dissapears once the baby is here.

I hope bf doesn't take me back to my pre-pregnancy weight - i've lost 2 and a half stones since getting my bfp lol! I'm the lightest I've been for many years

But seriously I have heard how it's beneficial to mum too.

I'm sure everything will be ok and I will decide what I want to do when she is in my arms.

 

[Lianne1986]

Ok so I know that the best thing for baby to feed on is breast milk as it contains everything they need, but to be completely honest it isn't something that I have ever had the urge to do.

My mum formula fed both me and my sister, and my sister formula fed her eldest. She had a go bf her youngest but he just wouldn't latch and she got so tired trying to express all the time she just went onto formula.

I just always thought that I would formula feed too, I just don't feel comfortable with the idea of bf.

But DH has mentioned he would like me to try and although he would never try and make me do something I don't want to, I am now in 2 minds as to what to do.

Sometimes I think I will give it a go and then I change my mind and can't stand the idea. I get really upset now every time I think about it.

Anyone else had these conflicting feelings? Am I just being silly???????

Honestly? It's going to sound daft but I don't think I would be able to use my boobs for both work and play - if you get my meaning lol!

But seriously I don't know if there is any particular reason, it's just something I never really thought about doing and I don't feel a desperate urge to.

Thank u so much for posting this!! reading this, i could be the one writing it! i honestly feel the same, i keep changing my mind. i did with my son, he was born 8 weeks early tho and was tube fed so i chose to formula feed with him.

with this one i really dnt wanna breastfeed, im thinking of expressing but dnt think i will keep up with it. i just know i'll switch to formula feed.

i also worry about what other ppl will think if i dnt even give breasfeeding a try.

i just cant imagine sitting there in sum1s house gettin my boob out to feed baby!

yet its meant to be the most natural thing in the world but it doesnt feel like tht to me

 

[anna matronic]

I was adament that I wouldn't breastfeed. I am not 100% comfortable with the idea, I think I do have a fear of the pain and also convinience. BUT as my pregnancy has progressed I have come around to the idea to at least give it a go. At least I can say to myself I tried!!

So my advice for you would be to keep an open mind. Don't commit to either way, in fact don't even think about it. But get prepared for both ff and bf, get bottles, formula, nipple cream, pads, pump. Then when you have your girl you can make which ever decision you like and will be prepared for both.

 

[bigbetty]

Thank u so much for posting this!! reading this, i could be the one writing it! i honestly feel the same, i keep changing my mind. i did with my son, he was born 8 weeks early tho and was tube fed so i chose to formula feed with him.

with this one i really dnt wanna breastfeed, im thinking of expressing but dnt think i will keep up with it. i just know i'll switch to formula feed.

i also worry about what other ppl will think if i dnt even give breasfeeding a try.

i just cant imagine sitting there in sum1s house gettin my boob out to feed baby!

yet its meant to be the most natural thing in the world but it doesnt feel like tht to me

I'm so glad it's not just me feeling this way - just re-read that and it doesn't sound very nice! I wish it was all much simpler

My sister tried to bf her youngest but he just wouldn't latch on so she started expressing. She got so tired because when she wasn't feeding him she was expressing more for the next feed and so she gave up and went onto formula.

At the end of the day, whatever decision I make, it's going to be what I want to do and not what anyone else wants, expects or thinks I should do.

 

[Blue_bumpkin]

I would try it and see how you feel after a few days.

There is a big difference between using your breasts to feed your child then using them for 'pleasure'. Its hard to differentiate though when you're not used to using them for both things before so I would see how you go first before writing it off iykwim? If you still feel incomfortable then at least you know you gave it a shot x

 

[Mrschoochoo]

My midwife was talking about this tonight, she said she wished more mothers would tell her they wanted to bottlefeed as there is so much pressure on women to breastfeed women feel they cant say. She would rather teach someone about the correct amount of formula and sterilising than waste their time with breastfeeding info they dont need.

Its only going to be you there at 3 am when your baby wants a feed, dont let anyone tell you what you should be doing!

 

[Twinminator]

I hadn't even considered bottle feeding when I was pg with twins, but when they spent 3 weeks in special care and a pump could not extract one drop from my poor boobs, they never got anything outta me! This time, I absolutely am NOT considering BFing... at all. Never in a million years did I think that something so primeval as feeding your baby would cause so much heartache and trauma. I don't want to put myself through that huge disappointment again, and feeling like a failure at the first mothering hurdle.

THAT SAID, if all goes well with the birth and I am handed my child, and I am asked if I want to try and latch him/her on... I know what a massive shift your brain makes at the point of childbirth, from "giving you and baby equal consideration" to "baby is the centre of the universe" and anything could happen, I may well say yes, I know enough to know I have no idea what reaction I'll give.

The bottom line Betty is that for all the worrying you do now, you will be a different woman when you have to make the choice - you'll be a mother and what you want or don't want to do may be very different then... AND what your baby wants to do/ will not do.... AND what your boobs want to do/ will not do!!!!!

Just enjoy your pg, and be open to any outcome - I wish I had been!

 

[Cheryl xx]

Morning hun,
I just wanted to offer my support. Breastfeeding is such a personal thing to a woman and i can understand your worries. I had them all before my daughter was born and wasn't even sure i could 'share' my body. However when she was born i tried and it was difficult for the first few days, but we carried on and i ended up loving it, i breastfed her for the first year xx

 

[kellis]

I'm really uncomfortable with the idea, i keep reading breastfeeding forums for inspiration and it just makes me feel worse when i see posts from ladies who are really struggling with it. I did try with ds (under pressure) and failed spectacularly, the midwifes were crap and told me was tongue tied, which he wasn't and i just felt useless and like a bad mum.

 

[sparkle05]

Hi bigbetty, I wont be BF with this baby. I have tried it with previous babies and lasted 4 days This time i am not even going to try and i feel happy with my decision. I don't feel any pressure this time as its a decision i made very early on. BF is a personal choice and one that should be made by you and you alone. It's all about being comfortable with your decision

Good luck with what ever you decide. A happy mum and baby is all that counts