Anyone else getting themselves worked up about breastfeeding?

[Blah11]

I'd always urge new mums to give it a go. Its not horrible, its a wonderful experience.

 

[buttonnose82]

I'm getting myself more worried about the 'what if i CAN'T breastfeed', that has me worried sick

 

[Blah11]

Such a tiny proportion of women cant breastfeed so it's not even worth worrying about! You'll do fine

 

[Blah11]

https://www.babyandbump.com/breastfeeding/91335-tough-48-hrs.html

this was my first thread in the BF section! Haha so you can see that the first month or so isnt that great but after that the pros and good times make you almost forget how hard it was. Its sooo worth it.

 

[buttonnose82]

Such a tiny proportion of women cant breastfeed so it's not even worth worrying about! You'll do fine

I know, thats what I keep telling myself

I just worry because my mum didn't produce a drop of milk at all with 2 of the 3 of us, I know it is very very uncommon and hope it doesn't follow in the family

 

[sophxx]

i didnt breastfeed i didnt get any milk not one drop or never leaked so the discusion was taken out of my hands

you just need to keep a open mind and do what you feel is best having a new baby is hard enough with hormones and sleepless nights as well as labour with out worrying about how to feed the baby if you do go with formula than dont feel bad for not feeding your baby my babys forumla and hes doing brill x

 

[Sammylou]

No hunny your not alone.

I didn't breast feed my son, I just couldn't get my head round breast feeding. My mom tried to get me to try as she fed both me and my sister and my friends husband had the great advice of 'just wait til she's had it then stick it on her t*t - she'll be too tiered to do anything about it'

I don't intend to feed this time either, I know that I wouldn't be comfortable doing it. Maybe if I was on my own but what about when people come round and the baby needs feeding - I'm not the sort of person to ask hubbys grandparents to leave me alone so I can feed. I don't think I could even feed in front of hubby (I think because he's always made such a fuss about my boobs, it would make me feel wierd). I'm also not overly keen on a midwife gropping my boob while I'm in hospital, so far as I'm concerned the only people who get close and personal with my breast are me and hubby (baby I could cope with, some strange woman, um I don't think so )

I'm quite tempted to look into expressing but again I'm not sure, as I've read that people find it more work than formula feeding.

 

[bigbetty]

I'm quite tempted to look into expressing but again I'm not sure, as I've read that people find it more work than formula feeding.

Yeah my sister couldn't get her youngest to latch on so started expressing but found that when she wasn't giving him a bottle she was expressing and had absolutely no time to do anything else so she gave up and formula fed.

 

[Serene123]

Having experienced it, I think breastfeeding is about much more than, "breast is best." That attachment, for me at least, was the most amazing moment in my life. I will cherish it forever. There is nothing sexual about my breasts when they are used for feeding. I never even made that connection. I believe my daughter is who she is because we were so close for such a long time and I felt like I was the most important person in her world because I could do something for her that no one else could do.

I think it's a shame that people can't get past the sexualisation of breasts, but I have been there and I know how it feels to be worried about breastfeeding and not really being sure why. At the end of the day the most important thing for your baby is that you are both happy and healthy. But I would hate for someone to not give it a go and regret it

 

[Blue_bumpkin]

Having experienced it, I think breastfeeding is about much more than, "breast is best." That attachment, for me at least, was the most amazing moment in my life. I will cherish it forever. There is nothing sexual about my breasts when they are used for feeding. I never even made that connection. I believe my daughter is who she is because we were so close for such a long time and I felt like I was the most important person in her world because I could do something for her that no one else could do.

I think it's a shame that people can't get past the sexualisation of breasts, but I have been there and I know how it feels to be worried about breastfeeding and not really being sure why. At the end of the day the most important thing for your baby is that you are both happy and healthy. But I would hate for someone to not give it a go and regret it

Totally agree. I love the closeness me and my lo have

 

[Dragonfly]

I would find formula feeding so much more time consuming than breatsfeeding and I have been breastfeeding for 19 months now and pregnant to. I cant imagine making all them bottles and sterilizing.

Anyway I was all for formula when I was pregnant, no way was I having baby on my boob the thought freaked me out as I didnt know anything about breastfeeding other than you could do and it was just another way of feeding a baby. Everyone around me was formula fed and even I was. No one wanted me to either it was totally uncalled for as theres formula. Then i gave it a go after I seen my baby, I felt totally different. I seem him thrieve, I seen a difference to and no matter what anyone else says their baby was breastfed and like this and that mine is still breastfed and hasnt ever been sick, not even puked once from birth or ever had colic. I never seen that before so I stuck with it, must be some good despite the negative responses I was getting from friends and family. I did have sore nips but got cream for that and it was time consuming but I dont care long as my son is his best and I have done my best.

I would urge any new mum to try it and see how they feel and how their baby is then leats you can say you tried. Skipping to formula isnt the best option in my eyes and not doing your best for your baby. Thers options like expressing milk also. You never know the thought now creeps you out like it did me when I was first pregnant but when the time came it was totally different my maternal instinct took over and it felt right, same as co sleeping felt right for us and easier to breastfeed with.

 

[Lianne1986]

I didnt breastfeed my son, but i still love the closeness we have, just becuz u forumla feed it doesnt mean u have less of a bond with ur child.

 

[Serene123]

I personally, for the couple of months I gave formula too, did not feel as bonded to my child. I understand it's different for everyone though.

 

[Dragonfly]

I didnt breastfeed my son, but i still love the closeness we have, just becuz u forumla feed it doesnt mean u have less of a bond with ur child.

agree but not the same bond though, skin to skin (nipple to mouth) etc but theres always a bond between mum and baby.

 

[Lianne1986]

I didnt breastfeed my son, but i still love the closeness we have, just becuz u forumla feed it doesnt mean u have less of a bond with ur child.

agree but not the same bond though, skin to skin (nipple to mouth) etc but theres always a bond between mum and baby.

with tyler we had a lot of skin to skin becuz he was prem, even now he likes to rub the bare skin on my arm when hes tired and hes almost 6!

 

[bigbetty]

You see that is where I am having problems. For me it's not just because of the sexualisation of breasts - I just simply have no urge whatsoever to breast feed and I don't know why. Yes it may be part of the reason but it is only a very miniscule part.

Perhaps it is the fact that my mum formula fed both my sister and me and my sister formula fed both her boys and we have all grown up happy and healthy.

I think I just need to chill out about it and see what happens. I may suddenly feel the urge to bf when my little girl is placed in my arms but then again I might not.

 

[bigbetty]

I don't want to offend anyone but there are a few people on here who have said "I would urge every mum to give breastfeeding a go" and that is what is causing me so much stress.

What if I don't want to give it a go? Does that make me a bad mum?

If I decide not to bf why should anyone put me down or say that I am not doing the best for my baby?

Why should I feel pressured into doing something I'm not comfortable with just because it's expected?

I'm sorry for my little rant, I'm just so confused

 

[Dragonfly]

yeah just go with the flow, I do know how your feeling as I said I felt the same. Will be different when baby is born, not saying you will want to then but your life and general thinking does change. I always go with the flow,do what I want etc wish I had of had more help though but if you get help take it with open arms. Dont freak out about it now, no point.

 

[Dragonfly]

I don't want to offend anyone but there are a few people on here who have said "I would urge every mum to give breastfeeding a go" and that is what is causing me so much stress.

What if I don't want to give it a go? Does that make me a bad mum?

If I decide not to bf why should anyone put me down or say that I am not doing the best for my baby?

Why should I feel pressured into doing something I'm not comfortable with just because it's expected?

I'm sorry for my little rant, I'm just so confused

You replied the same time as me there and I still mean what I said, go with the flow. yes I did say I urge new mums to try it only because it may work for them as i know what its like and I did feel like you at one stage. If you arnt comfortable dont do it, as I said again go with the flow do whatever makes you feel ok ,its a scary thought when you havnt done it .

 

[Jody R]

You see that is where I am having problems. For me it's not just because of the sexualisation of breasts - I just simply have no urge whatsoever to breast feed and I don't know why. Yes it may be part of the reason but it is only a very miniscule part.

Perhaps it is the fact that my mum formula fed both my sister and me and my sister formula fed both her boys and we have all grown up happy and healthy.

I think I just need to chill out about it and see what happens. I may suddenly feel the urge to bf when my little girl is placed in my arms but then again I might not.

You don't have to justify to anyone else why you feel uncomfortable or unwilling to breastfeed but perhaps you might feel happier and less stressed if you can work out for yourself just why you feel this way.

As you say you are not familiar with breastfeeding and that may be part of it would you feel happier if you did familiarise yourself with it a bit? Maybe looking at images in the breastfeeding information or perhaps your midwife could give you a DVD or something or invite you along to a breastfeeding cafe type gathering so you can chat to people who may have felt the same.

I agree that just relaxing now and not worrying about it is a good idea but that doesn't mean you don't have to think about it until the baby gets here. That might just be a way to delay the stress because making the decision in the delivery room is just guarenteed to rush you into a choice you might regret. Just tell yourself that it is one option you are looking into at the moment and that you are not going to beat yourself up about it or worry about it while you are only gathering information.

I don't want to offend anyone but there are a few people on here who have said "I would urge every mum to give breastfeeding a go" and that is what is causing me so much stress.

What if I don't want to give it a go? Does that make me a bad mum?

If I decide not to bf why should anyone put me down or say that I am not doing the best for my baby?

Why should I feel pressured into doing something I'm not comfortable with just because it's expected?

I'm sorry for my little rant, I'm just so confused

I don't think anyone saying "give it a go" means to cause you stress, it's more of a "if you don't try then that is fine but you might always wonder about what could have happened if you had" sort of thing.

If you do try, and don't want to continue or can't continue, then at least you will know that you tried. And if you find that it is something you want to continue to do after all then that's a great result too.

I think people are just worried that, since you have posted asking for help with this, that you might have regrets about not trying later on even though the idea of trying is hard for you.

But nobody has the right to pressure you to try if you really don't want to or feel that you can't.

The only person who can really put pressure on you or make you feel bad is you in this situation, nobody else has the right to even try and tell you what to do.

If you really don't want to do it then don't. It doesn't make you a bad mum and it doesn't mean that you are not doing the best for your baby.