Anyone else have a baby that slept great at first and for some reason stopped?

[rmsh1]

My daughter is almost 12 weeks old. She was a great night time sleeper up til she was around 9 weeks, and now she wakes at least every 3 hours. The effects on me are really starting to build up. I have tried to get her to bed at a set time each night, but she just wont settle. She has chosen 9-9.30pm as her bed time. Occasionally I can get her down around 8pm. But no matter when she goes to bed, she wakes three hours later, then 2.5 hours after that, than maybe 1.5 hours after that. I have read all kinds of things to try, but I am after some stuff you guys have tried. We do have a bed time routine. After her bath/shower, she does not get any more stimulation, it is quiet time, feed, and a story during what I hope is her final feed.

Sometimes she is ready to wake up at 7am, other days 9am. She has no set nap times as she just tends to stay awake just over an hour before needing a nap. So that can vary depending on what time she woke up.

She is exclusively breast fed, and I would like to keep it this way, although a bed time feed of formula is a tempting idea right now

Any suggestions?

 

[Larkspur]

Hon, I know this isn't what you want to hear but this is incredibly normal. In fact, it's pretty good for 12 weeks. My baby still wakes up more often than that, in fact, he went through a several-months-long phase of waking up every 45 minutes to two hours.

It's way too early for sleep training, so unless you're willing to risk introducing a formula bottle in the middle of the night so OH can help out (I would suggest that rather than at bedtime, as you already get a three-hour first sleep) then you are kind of stuck with it. Be aware that introducing one or more bottles of formula at night may affect your milk supply.

I know this seems unlikely right now, but your body does adjust to the wake-ups. Are you co-sleeping? That's what got me through, and I highly recommend it if done safely.

 

[rmsh1]

I think I need to hear that it is normal, that's my problem. I have friends here on BnB with babies that are the same age as mine, and they sleep through the night! Emma was doing that, but just stopped for no reason I can work out. She feeds well when she wakes, so just soothing her is not an option, she requires feeding.

I scared myself reading some controversial books, all telling me my baby should have a routine and be STTN by her age. We don't even have a day time routine, it all depends on when she wakes up!

We have been practicing getting Emma to take a bottle of breast milk, just to get her used to a bottle, as I return to work in October. I was thinking I could get OH to give her a bottle of breastmilk for one of her wakings, but to be honest, that wont stop me waking. I will wake, and have to wake him, and then listen to her cry while he warms the milk. It is not really going to save me any sleep.

Emma sleeps in a cot in our room as we are temporarily staying in a one bed place til I go back to work. So my sleep is also interrupted at night by her general stirrings

 

[Gidz]

Waking every three hours is great for her age. To answer your question, my dd is now 20 weeks. From about 4-12 weeks, she slept from 7-10, nursed then slept til 6 am. Then, she hit the 3 month growth spurt which led into the four month sleep regression. Her sleep has been awful since. She's only slept thru that day she got her 4 month shots and hasn't since. I'm dying, slowly.

 

[rmsh1]

Maybe I read all the wrong books, telling me Emma should be sleeping 5-6 hour stretches....

 

[Gidz]

I think books that suggest that mean that babies that age can sleep that long without a feed. Not all babies will sleep that long, some will tho.

 

[Jendra]

Take a bottle of breastmilk out to let it warm on its own while you sleep. It's good for eight hours out of the fridge. That could cut down on the crying you listen to when your baby wakes and then your OH can give the bottle without having to warm it.

 

[Larkspur]

Maybe I read all the wrong books, telling me Emma should be sleeping 5-6 hour stretches....

Hahaha, the books are full of lies like that. Honestly, I don't know who those 'averages' (if they even are averages) serve because every baby is different and barring medical issues, they will all do their own thing, so 'shoulds' in books just confuse and upset new mums.

I have several friends who had babies around the same time as me; one of them had a baby who STTN from 12 weeks and forever since. Everyone else has gone through phases of more and less frequent wakeups, from every 1-2 hours to chunks of 4-5 or more. Sometimes my guy will do a 7-hour shift somewhere in the night now, sometimes the longest one will be 2.5 hours.

I have one classic friend whose first baby STTN for 13 hours right from seven weeks, so she thought she had everything hosed. And then her second baby nearly drove her to despair by never STTN (despite every effort; change to formula, routines, baby whisperer, CIO) until she was 19 months old. They are all different.

Some of my friends have done sleep training with their kids, others haven't; overall everyone's babies' sleep has generally improved over time whatever they chose, and yours will too. Deep breaths, repeat to self "This will not last forever", and try to get naps in where you can, or go to bed earlier.

At six months if you are still struggling, babies are developmentally ready for sleep training if that fits in with your parenting style. But the first year will be over before you know it (I know it doesn't feel that way now) and you will look back on sleep struggles with a sense that "Oh, I guess it wasn't that bad..." even if it felt pretty bad at the time.

 

[rmsh1]

Thanks, we are still getting the bottle feeding under control, and the balance to expressing milk without causing engorgement, but once we are there, we will definitely try that! (I still have to wake OH, he sleeps so deeply)

 

[rmsh1]

I got myself so stressed the other day after reading how long Emma "should" be sleeping. I can live with how much sleep I get now, but will be harder when I return to work. OH and I will definitely have to share out some of the wake ups at that point I think.

 

[Zephram]

I got myself so stressed the other day after reading how long Emma "should" be sleeping.

You sound just like me! Though granted my baby has always woken up more frequently than yours (we have only just achieved an average of every 3 hours at 7.5 months! I envy you actually ). In the early months I stressed and stressed about how he wasn't doing what the books and experts said he should be. Well, he doesn't because it's all a load of bollocks! I highly doubt there are many text book babies in the world.

Certainly most babies do sleep better than mine did and does, but he is by no means unusual in waking a lot - and neither is your baby! I know it doesn't help to essentially be saying, 'You're not alone' and 'It's normal', but it is, and quite frankly, no matter what the books tell you, there's not really much you can do to make a baby sleep differently unless there are very glaring things going wrong at night (like baby is cold or hungry or has a dirty nappy or is somehow uncomfortable, etc). Don't forget that a baby is a human being and their own little person, and you cannot make a person sleep if they don't want to or aren't developmentally ready to.

I really believe the crux of it is in personality - some babies have a personality that is conducive to good night sleep earlier than others. I have come to accept that my baby (aside from physical needs, i.e. he requires breastfeeding at night because he is a very hungry boy) has a personality that means he needs a lot of cuddles and reassurance and that he will sleep through when he is developmentally able to cope with his night wake ups on his own. I don't know when that will be, but in the meantime I have stopped stressing about his non-text book behaviour and started enjoying our middle of the night cuddles, safe in the knowledge that when he's a teenager I won't be able to get him out of bed for school in the morning!!

 

[rmsh1]

It is horrible, worrying what your baby "should" be doing. I was having trouble trouble getting Emma to sleep during the day time, so I went to a sleep clinic. We have no problems with that now. And her night time sleeps are fine other than the waking for a feed. She goes straight back to sleep, no problems. I might just have to stop reading books people give me!

 

[Larkspur]

It is horrible, worrying what your baby "should" be doing. I was having trouble trouble getting Emma to sleep during the day time, so I went to a sleep clinic. We have no problems with that now. And her night time sleeps are fine other than the waking for a feed. She goes straight back to sleep, no problems. I might just have to stop reading books people give me!

Well, the babies don't read the books, so how are they meant to know what they're meant to be doing?!

Another thread that's brought out a bunch of Kiwis.... (another creature that's up all night, I might add!)

 

[rmsh1]

Ha! I never actually looked where everyone was from! I never see kiwis on here at all

 

[little_lady]

One of the best things I've learnt as a mum is just to go with the flow. It really helps to have an accepting mindset, otherwise I just end up getting stressed. Isabelle didn't sleep through 12 hours until 21 months but Joel has just started to this week - so it's definitely down to personality and I'm glad I didn't get too stressed about Isabelle not sleeping.

It does sound like you've hit the 12 week growth spurt, so things may settle back down in a couple of weeks. Keep going mama!

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Mine!

 

[rmsh1]

Mine!

Glad it is not just me

 

[rmsh1]

One of the best things I've learnt as a mum is just to go with the flow. It really helps to have an accepting mindset, otherwise I just end up getting stressed. Isabelle didn't sleep through 12 hours until 21 months but Joel has just started to this week - so it's definitely down to personality and I'm glad I didn't get too stressed about Isabelle not sleeping.

It does sound like you've hit the 12 week growth spurt, so things may settle back down in a couple of weeks. Keep going mama!

Thanks I think I am starting to accept the fact I just have to let her do what she wants to do. She is napping well in the day time, I should be grateful for that. I just have to accept a lack of sleep for a long time

 

[PG5K]

From 6 weeks to 5 1/2 months Alice slept so well it was like having a dream baby... then it all went wrong!
Even at 7 months I've sometimes been woke up 10+ times a night. We have a good bedtime routine but no daytime one.

Last night she surprised me by only waking at 5:30 for a feed in 12 hours! I didn't do anything different, just like she stopped sleeping I hope she'll start again.

I found it easier at night to just breastfeed. People said about a bottle for her but she wouldn't take it and I ended up waking up anyway. It's worth giving it a try though.

It is very hard but your body adjusts somehow.