Anyone else have pessimistic husbands after a mc?

Discussion in 'TTC After A Loss' started by skirtgirl, Jan 27, 2011.

  1. skirtgirl

    skirtgirl 2 recent losses

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2011
    Messages:
    61
    Likes Received:
    0
    We miscarried very early on in October and he took it very hard - probably harder than me. Yesterday, I got my first very faint BFP and I'm thrilled. He, however, cannot entertain the thought of being thrilled and very much is discouraging me from embracing this. I understand he is just self-protecting but at this stage of the game - there's no one else to tell so his is the only voice I'm hearing and it's not helping. A line is a line - faint or not. Just because it's faint - doesn't mean we're just kind-of, maybe pregnant. He doesn't get it. I'm sure I'm not alone in this - how have y'all dealt with it? Any insight would be great. Thanks!
     
  2. Crunchie

    Crunchie In shock mummy !

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2010
    Messages:
    3,203
    Likes Received:
    0
    hi ya hun

    I mc in sept and I got a BFP this month, when I started to get excited my DH said to me ....dont get ahead of yourself

    I tell you those words hit me like a ton of bricks, and I had been feeling so positive lately that really set me back

    He knew someothing was up and we talked about and he just explained that he was saving himself from going through that pain again !

    I think Men just dont have a clue what to say :hugs:
     
  3. fides

    fides Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2011
    Messages:
    5,642
    Likes Received:
    32
    congratulations, ladies, on getting pregnant after your miscarriage!!
     
  4. pinkflamingo

    pinkflamingo Mummy to an angel x

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2009
    Messages:
    707
    Likes Received:
    0
    Congrats ladies. I am not anywhere near the stage of getting a BFP, as am still miscarrying, but I can imagine that my DH will be petrified of even ttc let alone getting pregnant. He was SO excited when we got ours and gutted when we went for the first scan and it was bad news. We went for a scan at the EPAU today and he was talking to the nurse about how hard it all was etc etc. It made him seem so fragile.

    i am sure that your hubby is just scared that this amazing feeling will be taken away again. He will just be wanting to protect you hun, but I guess he doesn't really know how to as nature is the final decision maker as we all know in this forum.

    good luck and I wish you every success with your pregnancy xxxx
     
  5. Sany

    Sany Guest

    congratulations! don't give up hope!

    i think men are just clueless. sometimes they don't know what to say or don't know how to express it.

    i had an mc last year and my OH reacted the opposite of your OH, he was just like hey it's ok we'll try again. and didn't understand how sad i was! it made me very angry. but now i understand that he just didn't know how to react.
     
  6. acetoact

    acetoact Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2011
    Messages:
    216
    Likes Received:
    0
    My husband actually asked when can we try again, and says things like, it will happen for us eventually, we can't give up, etc. But he has also said that he only feels comfortable talking to me about it, and I am supposed to tell him when he is aloud to get excited. After two losses last year, when I just sent him an email telling him I was pregnant again (he is deployed) all he responded with was "I thought I wasn't supposed to get excited about lines."
     
  7. auntySmeghead

    auntySmeghead Active Member

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2010
    Messages:
    30
    Likes Received:
    0
    I think you should just give him time and not pressure him into being excited. By the sounds of it he's trying to distance himself so it doesnt hurt as much if you were to loose another baby. I'm sure as the weeks go on and you get more and more out of the danger zone he will start to relax.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice