Anyone else not feel "bonded" during breast feeding?

[Jcliff]

I feel like a bad person. So many people say how they love nursing and how it's the most amazing thing in the world blah blah but I honestly feel like it's just a pain in the bum lol i don't feel a connection while feeding my son, I mostly just do it to feed him cause he's hungry. Sometimes I even feel like I rush it because I'm so busy! Unlike some women who say they feed for hours... Yeah right not me. Anyone else feel like this?

 

[Literati_Love]

I felt like that for the first month or so. There was no magical "bonding" feeling that was released during it and I found it very exhausting. After the first month it does get better. When your baby starts looking up from nursing with a special smile as she or he gazes into your eyes, you will feel that bond...or at the very least feel that breastfeeding is worth it! At least that was my experience.

 

[HBGirl]

It took about 5 months for me to fall in love with breastfeeding.

 

[MrsPear]

I breastfed for 15 months but I never fell in love with it. In the end I liked it as a very hassle-free alternative to formula. But no I was never ever in love with it and never felt like it improved our bond, at times it made it worse for sure in the beginning, because I felt so tethered. It was really just something I did. x

 

[Ashla]

Yep. Not everyone loves breastfeeding. I breastfed my first for 12 months and am still breastfeeding my second at 7 months and I can honestly say I find it a hassle more than anything. And while there will be the occasional moment of beautiful connection, I am certainly not in love with breastfeeding!

 

[Bunnikins]

I felt the same. I was just waiting for it to be over so I could get something done. The only time I enjoyed it was with my first baby early in the mornings when we were snuggled in bed, but the rest of the time, especially with my second child, it was just something to get out of the way. I loved both but can't say I felt closer or bonded whilst actually breastfeeding! Especially the cluster feeding where they're never finished and constantly want it, get upset there's not enough in or its coming out too fast/slow etc...just a pain!
Glad others felt this way too and not just me!

 

[minties]

Not at first no, but definitely later on.

 

[Pearls18]

I never loved breastfeeding, it was always a means to an end, I love breast milk it fascinates me to read about it, that's why I kept going, but I was always counting down until I could stop! I did 9 and 8 months respectively with each boy. If anything I would say for various reasons breastfeeding hinders my relationship with the boys in the early days, but nutrition was what was paramount for me.

 

[liz1985]

No not for me. Tbf ive never bf full time so maybe it would make a difference if i did, but with ds i actually used to dread feeding him, and if people came round id pray they wouldn't wake him up and he'd want feeding. With dd got past the hating it part, but never really enjoyed it. I only did it because i knew it was better for her, but i was happy when each feed was over. The longest i bf was 2 months and i was past the painfull part and the cluster feeding, and she was in quite a good routine of every 3 hours but i still didnt enjoy it. I found other things like taking a bath together were much more of a bonding experience.

 

[HBGirl]

I'm really sad all Moms don't get the glow. I love it so much I wish it for everyone. This is why we have options though, so we can love parenting.

 

[staralfur]

There was a window for me. The first three months I hated it, 3-12ish months I really did enjoy it. After that it just became meh. And now that she's 2.5, I'm starting to really dislike it.

 

[pinklizzy]

I always struggled to BF, with both babies but when my little boy actually latched and fed (which was pretty rare tbh) it made me feel like I wanted to cry, I'd get a massive wave of emotion like being really homesick and miserable.

 

[Maxy1]

I loved feeding DS, I worked so hard to establish it and maintain it, BFing made me very ill and I was very unwell for the entire 22 months I fed him. I also didn't realise that I was making him sick too by doing it. But I just loved it and felt such a bond with him over it. Plus I was way too lazy to do bottles

With DD I just haven't got into it. I enjoy the fact that I don't have to do bottles, and although I am not as sick this time I am tired of watching my diet for DD's allergies. I don't love it this time. And am swapping to FF at 6 months partly because of DD's allergies and also because I am returning to work earlier this time.

 

[BigAl]

Really not bothered about bfing. Although I'm extremely glad to be able to do it, I wouldn't say its enjoyable. Definitely no warm fuzzy glow from it, but that's OK.

It's good to hear more people say it, if it takes the pressure off from feeling you're doing it wrong if you don't love it.

 

[pinkpolkadot]

With DD1 not so much, I was pretty stressed about it, writing down all the feed times and lengths and wouldn't nurse in front of others which made it really difficult and I always felt rushed if people were here and waiting for us.

This time I have totally relaxed, not clock watching and will nurse anywhere and I am enjoying it way more!

 

[RaspberryK]

I don't think I realised how much I loved breastfeeding til we stopped, although by a year I'd got fed up of leaking, nursing bras and finding clothing to make nip easy I was terribly sad when I weaned him and would definitely continue past a year next time.
Cx

 

[noon_child]

I felt it got in the way of our bond at first. I felt so resentful, exhausted and in pain. Plus my LO never looked at me to smile etc. she just chowed down (or struggled and fought!).

I realised how much I loved the ease of it and the fact it is a 'cure all' though when it got to time to introduce food and all the stress came back in to our lives. At that point I realised I wanted to carry on feeding for as long as possible and as she got older we got more cheeky smiles while she fed and I grew to love it more and more.

 

[c1403]

With DD1 we had real problems and I hated breastfeeding. We gave up at 5 weeks.

With DD2 I decided to try again (I had emcs with dd1 and this time we had a easy natural birth). Its much easier this time, we latch well and no pain etc but I too don't feel 'that bond'.

I don't mind BF her as she obviously needs me and I am the only one to feed her, plus I cant be bothered with bottles, BF is easier...but I don't particularly enjoy it or look forward to every feed, its just something I have to do for my baby.

I am sooo glad we are doing it though and I do think we will go far this time round which i am proud of as I could have given up. She is 6 weeks already so I have already done more than I did with DD1.

 

[c1403]

With DD1 not so much, I was pretty stressed about it, writing down all the feed times and lengths and wouldn't nurse in front of others which made it really difficult and I always felt rushed if people were here and waiting for us.

This time I have totally relaxed, not clock watching and will nurse anywhere and I am enjoying it way more!

This is just how I have been second time round. The first time was super stressful and I hated it. This time I have a much more laid back approach and its worked wonders for me and DD

 

[Odd Socks]

i was happy that i managed to breastfeed DD2 successfully, since i didn't with DD1. & i liked that it was relatively easy. but if i'm 100% honest, i preferred feeding DD1 with a bottle of milk. i'm so mixed, because it was so, so important to me to breastfeed & moreso when i didn't manage with my first.

dd2 is almost 3 now & still breastfed, the only time i like feeding her is before bed, when she falls asleep feeding.