Anyone else sick and tired of being positive and hopeful while everyone else pregnant

[lanet]

And if anyone else tells me to relax and it will happen I will scream. I just want to sit and cry after 2 years of trying unsuccessfully.

 

[arizonagal]

Agreed! I'm tired of "don't worry-it will happen" but I'm trying to just not talk to anyone about it since it doesn't seem to make me feel better . It's Friday, hope you can have a fun weekend and forget about it for now!

 

[Xtraordinary]

Ditto! I don't talk to anyone about it.

 

[ZekeyMylo2010]

Yeah been there so many times, going through it again my younger brother is about to become a dad in a matter of hours over 3 years for us. I've stop counting!!

 

[Sizzles]

YES to the original question. As I posted recently elsewhere, it seems to be those women who fall pg relatively easily who offer such gems of advice as 'relax', or 'stop trying so hard'. It's very hard NOT to try so hard the longer it goes on! I actually had a friend say to me, when I confided in her that at the time we'd been trying for over a year, 'you are doing it right aren't you!?' Good job she was on the phone - I may have punched her or killed her with a withering look!
I'm not in a particularly good place right now; af is around the corner (I've been having the tell tale spotting for nearly a week now) and this cycle marks the end of 2.5 years of trying. Psychologically, that means next cycle is in that 2.5 - 3 years of trying bracket. Crap!

 

[lanet]

I'm just about to the 2 year mark. And I agree it's women who haven't been here that say that. Also if I'm going to spend money on fertility testing/meds, then why would I waste that by not watching for ovulation or timing it accordingly?? I'm frustrated, I want to quit talking to all of my friends bc they don't get it and they are insensitive to it. And next person on Facebook who turns up pregnant I'm deleting!! Lol

 

[Brayr08]

Um yep! Trying for over 3 years here and just found out my BIL & SIL are pregnant and they weren't even trying. Cried all night and am still having a hard time not bursting into tears.

 

[PinkPeony]

I can't stand to hear another story of - oh I suddenly realized I hadn't had a period in a while so I picked up a test and voila! Meanwhile I'm sitting there in tww #18 counting down every painstaking second till I can receive yet another BFN.

 

[sarahlou1985]

Good old "relax and it will happen" or the worst yet "you have your daughter, focus on her instead" err as much as I love my daughter with all my heart wtf!! It's worse when you already have one cos people think you should be happy that you have one but there is still big part of me missing. We were diagnosed with unexplained infertility last week after ttc 25 months. Iv seen people have 2 babies in the space wev been trying. Every time someone announces it it sends me into depression, it's heart breaking isn't it and nobody can ever understand how you feel. Such a lonely time xxx

 

[31Flavors]

I TOTALLY understand.....we have been married six years and have been TTC for over 2 years, with 2 unsuccessful IUIs thus far. My friends are all pregnant with their second babies. I have started to isolate myself from group events because it is just too painful and awkward for me to be the odd person out. The few I have confided in say empty things like, RELAX and it'll happen and You can always adopt.....as if they have any idea that even adoption would be incredibly difficult and expensive. I have simply unsubscribed to my pregnant facebook friends.....they never know you unsubscribed from their posts because you can still remain friends without having to see those awful maternity and ultrasound pics.
Believe me, the bitterness is overwhelming sometimes.

 

[Sizzles]

I TOTALLY understand.....we have been married six years and have been TTC for over 2 years, with 2 unsuccessful IUIs thus far. My friends are all pregnant with their second babies. I have started to isolate myself from group events because it is just too painful and awkward for me to be the odd person out. The few I have confided in say empty things like, RELAX and it'll happen and You can always adopt.....as if they have any idea that even adoption would be incredibly difficult and expensive. I have simply unsubscribed to my pregnant facebook friends.....they never know you unsubscribed from their posts because you can still remain friends without having to see those awful maternity and ultrasound pics.
Believe me, the bitterness is overwhelming sometimes.

I know what you mean about being 'the odd one out'. My friendship group has changed as friends have had their babies - some of whom are now school-aged children. Admittedly, those with children now, didn't have them in the space of time we've been trying, but the point I'm making is that as friends have babies, their friends usually include other people with babies as they have most in common with them. I feel terribly sad that 2 close friends who have had babies in the last few months, may well drift from me as I don't have that special thing in common. The other thing is that whilst I could keep making friends with other 'non-baby' people, mostly they're the young folk, whereas I'm in my mid 30s.

 

[timeforababy]

i know! Anyone who winks at me when they are showing off their baby is told that I'm infertile and we need to see a fertility specialist.

Shuts them up and they get the idea not to be so helpful.

 

[lanet]

It does feel very isolating and like we are alone. My good friends can't understand. I try to be positive but I sat in my bathroom floor yesterday morning and cried and finally got mad. I'm tired of pretending that it's ok, and it will happen at the right time. Eff that, was it the right time for all the teen or abusive moms??? Being mad feels better than being sad right now.

 

[31Flavors]

It does feel very isolating and like we are alone. My good friends can't understand. I try to be positive but I sat in my bathroom floor yesterday morning and cried and finally got mad. I'm tired of pretending that it's ok, and it will happen at the right time. Eff that, was it the right time for all the teen or abusive moms??? Being mad feels better than being sad right now.

Yes, I sometimes like to trade in anger for sadness! It just feels easier to process.
I have stopped talking to most of my friends about it. We all used to be such a tight little group, but I am the only one who's not a mom. I don't talk about it with them because I can't stand the thought that they might all get together and shake their heads and talk about Poor Kimberly when I am not there. They are not malicious at all-----just clueless as to how this feels.
On top of it all, our REs pump us full of hormones that make us want a baby even more----if it is even possible to want one more than we already do.
Hugs to you all.

 

[pola17]

I know how you all feel! Im on the same boat as you! it will be 2 years of TTC next january. At moments I get really pesimistic, and I feel this is not going to happen to me.

It pisses me off when a friend repeats that on her first cycle TTC she got pregnant... I feel like punching her in the face everytime she tells me she´s super fertile. Every time I see her she asks me if Im pregnant yet.

Also, while I watch TV, there´s these TV commercials for babies` toys and I cant help myself, but to feel really sad about it.

DH got a sperm check, and he´s totally fine. He doesnt understand how I feel, and if I get sad around him, it stresses him. He has wanted to stop trying because he thinks that would make me feel better, so I just hide my feelings at home.

Every time someone asks me when my husband and I are going to have babies, I tell them not yet, because of whatever reason.

I feel great sharing this you!

 

[lanet]

I feel good sharing too, our deep dark bitter true feelings I had a young girl, pregnant by Oops! ask me when I'm going to get pregnant, I said "oh I don't really want anymore, who would want a baby?" I'm just tired of people asking, when the truth is the thought of being up all night with a crying baby and changing diapers sounds better to me than a Hawaiian vacay!

 

[PinkPeony]

Wow I am feeling exactly the same right now you guys. I got a BFN yesterday (blood test @ 14dpo) ever since I'm just feeling so "why me?" And just constantly thinking of all these ppl that have just got knocked up lately like it's nothing. They're all so easy breezy about it. They can't imagine how I feel. My stomach just tenses up! I feel so sad and angry too. @Pola - I can't handle those fisher price ads!

 

[OperationBbyO]

Yep, yep, and yep. I've gotten to the point where I just avoid anything that has to do to with babies. I'm so sick of the "relax" and it will happen. I got the speech just yesterday. We are dealing with severe male factor infertility + my issues. No amount of relaxing will make my DH's sperm any better!

I even had someone say "Maybe if it's this hard you aren't meant to have children. Maybe you should just stop trying."

 

[Brayr08]

I even had someone say "Maybe if it's this hard you aren't meant to have children. Maybe you should just stop trying."

Is that when you punched them in the face? Lol I got asked THREE DIFFERENT TIMES on Tuesday if I had any children & when I said no, each time I was asked, well why not??? I want to say, well, I've only been trying for over 3 years with nothing being wrong with either one of us. So, um, I guess the answer to that question is whenever God feels like blessing us with one. My parents died when I was 10, wanna talk about that too (Adam Sandler reference)? But what I usually respond with is, well, I have a beautiful niece & twin nephews that we're having fun enjoying now. I HATE those "kids" questions!

 

[pola17]

Wow I am feeling exactly the same right now you guys. I got a BFN yesterday (blood test @ 14dpo) ever since I'm just feeling so "why me?" And just constantly thinking of all these ppl that have just got knocked up lately like it's nothing. They're all so easy breezy about it. They can't imagine how I feel. My stomach just tenses up! I feel so sad and angry too. @Pola - I can't handle those fisher price ads!

lol, yes, I was talking about those commercials... witht he song "we were meant for each other for always", and I just think "it seems like no one is meant for me for always!"... my husband and I realized theyve been playing these commercials way too many times this week... they remind me of what I dont have!