I don't see why you should have to tell anyone anything. It's really not their business. I've only told a few people I'm doing this FET, not even my best friend or family knows. I know who would start in on saying hurtful things (which they probably don't see as hurtful), so I just don't say anything to them. No one in my family thinks I could or should have babies due to my health issues, so no one really asked. I had one nosey coworker flat out ask me years ago if I was going to have kids and I told her that maybe I was selfish and that was that. Another younger one told me I needed to have a baby a few years ago in front of my other coworkers who know more about my health issues, so I joked it off and said if I won the lottery, I would adopt children from around the world or hire someone to have my baby. I think it took her a few minutes, then she got it and never asked again. If someone asked me recently and I was in the mood, I would've told them how rude it is to ask and that it's not their business. Most people don't understand that if someone REALLY doesn't want kids, they WILL tell you up front. One of my cousins is like that. She will go off on how overpopulated the earth is and how she doesn't like children (I've seen her with them, she is horrible with children even if she tries).
As for me, I was a bit tired yesterday, slept well, but I AM feeling little tugging, poking, something going on in the left side area of my uterus. I am also feeling some slight cramps in lower lady bits.
No it's not but unfortunately people love to aks this question, especially when they have children themselves. People already were asking us this about 1 year after we got married but we'd decided to wait a bit so it was easier to just brush it off. Now that we are trying and having issues, it's become a more sensitive topic for me. Actually I think the only one who might ask is the same one that asked me last year, she's a bit of a nosey woman I think
I'm sure her son is going to end up a spoiled brat because that's just how she is. I remember once we were invited to another friend's kid's birthday a few years ago and she gave her like 3 dolls (it was before she got pregnant) while we gave the kid one and the kid actually liked our doll best
But yeah if she's giving 3 dolls to a friend's child, I can just imagine how much stuff she gives her own child
Totally get you not telling anyone. DH and I made the mistake of telling my narcissistic family and his family (partially so his family wouldn't keep wondering) but it has proven to have been a big mistake
My narcissistic mother at first tried to get me to not have any (she claims having kids is the biggest mistake of her life and she shouldn't have had any), then she went on to telling me each time AF showed up that she never had any issues conceiving her 6 kids in this gloating manner (she started when she was 18) and now she shows only a shallow interest but I'm sure it's only because my failures delight her. My narcissistic brother and his enabler wife went through numerous IVFs/FETs themselves to have their daughter (I didn't know until years after the fact) but my brother isn't supportive at all and avoids me almost completely (but that's also due to him continuing my mother's scapegoating of me in the family). DH's family, more specifically his parents, had been kinda bad. His mother didn't have issues having her 3 sons so would tell me to "just relax and it'll happen"
Then her and my FIL tried the "think positive" but DH and I have told them that we suffer from infertility and it goes beyond all this now. They've now backed off and been showing support and interest (my MIL has even volunteered to drive me to egg retrievel when the time comes if my DH can't) so I think they somewhat get it now.
But it's so true, asking is actually rude and I've always thought that even before we started TTCing. Your answer to your coworker is priceless
I'm sure that that's how many people see childless couples, they don't get that maybe not all of us are as fertile as they are and it's not selfishness but lack of fertility that may be a couple's issue. Although I don't see couples that choose to not have kids as selfish at all. It's much more selfish to have them when you don't really want them!
Sounds good Jean, hope it's a good sign for you getting a BFP
To make things worse, while I was waiting to get blood taken at the blood lab, I saw this father cuddling and kissing his baby girl and it just made me more upset than usual given the news I'd gotten. I nearly cried then and there but didn't dare go to the bathroom to do so since I was afraid of missing my number being called.
).
As for the house hunting DH is the "King of Procrastination" so he hasn't called the realtor yet so no more houses yet
